Friday poem
“Men Come, Men Go, but Laundry is Forever” by Sara King
Two towels mean he’s been here,
and one towel means he’s gone.
Beer bottles gathering dust mean
he’s been gone awhile. Then a new name on the phone machine,
wine glasses on the floor,
my children exchange glances,
eyebrows up and down.
So who is this guy? they ask me.
Just some friend, I say.
Does this friend have a name?
It’s John, Okay?
And you’re not going to meet him,
unless he’s going to stay.
But he doesn’t.
I declare him irresponsible,
unstable, self-centered.
He says I don’t play volleyball,
I’m not skinny, and I’m not Jewish.
Then his photographs come down,
and his towel.
His toothbrush hits the trash.
I resume my old ways of keeping house-
I don’t.
Do you think you’ll ever remarry, Mom?
It’s too late, I tell them.
I’m running out of towels.













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back to top12 Comments to “Friday poem”
A sad commentary on a very normal way of life for too many people (kids especially).
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I’ve heard dating described as “divorce practice.” I’m thinking those who describe it that way may be on to something.
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Yes, this is a very sad poem. Too many women have so little respect for themselves in this way.
I have a friend who was going through the dating thing and couldn’t understand why her children were so against every man she met. It took some time since she sold herself so cheaply, but we finally got her to see that her children love her. To them, all of her, even her body, is sacred to them. The thought of casual sex, of mommy being used for a moment’s pleasure and then discarded was abhorrent.
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It’s close to child abuse if you ask me. (Notice I wrote “close.”)
I know it’s a radical idea, but perhaps a single mother should simply concentrate on her kids and not be into the “hook-up” scene.
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There but for the grace of God, go I. What a sad, familiar feeling this poem evokes.
After my own divorce from an abusive alcoholic husband in the early ’70’s God blessed me and my three children with a special place in a Christian community where I received Christ and the support I needed to concentrate on raising my children instead of hunting for a guy. I was single and dateless for over ten years, until I met the wonderful Christian man who is now my husband. My children had the security of having me all to themselves while they proceeded from elementary school through college years, and I learned that with the Lord and my wonderful, supportive sisters and brothers I could be so full of joy I didn’t really miss not having a man in my life. I saw so many mothers of my kids’ friends stuck in the cycle the poem describes who were not open to the Lord or to the celibacy he commands, and my heart ached for them.
Any of you and your churches who can provide this for a divorced woman and her children are doing a precious work of the Lord.
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Praise God, Janie. What a wonderful story. And what a good kick in the pants to the whole household of faith to redouble our love toward divorced mothers.
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I laughed at the title, thinking of business travel, but quickly saw my misperception. How thankful I am that my experience led me to that first innocent assumption. Thanks for keeping the Friday poem.
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Janie, incredible story. I hope your kids show you the gratitude that you deserve.
It’s true, that without help, a woman abandoned by or fleeing from a bad man cannot make it easily (if at all). Yes, our churches should all be at the ready to lend a hand. So should our families.
Too often our culture screams “you can’t make it without a life partner” although lots of men and women do so just fine. There is an even more banal myth that somehow people will just die without regular sexual intercourse. I think we can base our lives on a lot more than sex.
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I used to think my family and upbringing was somewhat disfunctional. In a reasonably good world, my family ought to be so deemed.
But since getting more involved in working with high school ministries, I am starting to see that my family is pert-near Leave It To Beaver and Father Knows Best territory by current standards.
My dad was sort of nuts, and both my parents’ families were sort of screwy (his exceedlingly so), but he was always there for us.
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In less than 150 simple, deftly cadenced words and a handful of elegant palpable images, King’s poem speaks directly to life in a way people take for authentic and direct, if the comments thus far are an indicator.
A person might even get the idea that good poetry nurtures a kind of attention and fosters intuition in ways that won’t necessarily grow from adding line breaks to prose, eh?
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Kyle
The myth that we can’t live without sex is not only rampant in society but perpetuated by the medical community. Another single mother and I were laughing together one day because both of us had identical experiences when we went to a local clinic for check-ups:
Dr: And what are you using for birth control?
Us: Abstinence.
Dr: (Puzzled look.) Well, certainly you will be meeting someone you’ll want to date. How about some birth control pills.
Us: No need. That won’t be happening.
Dr: Well, how do you know? Everyone needs a sexual outlet. You really should be taking birth control pills or have some kind of birth control available. You might need it unexpectedly.
Us: What for? I believe intercourse outside marriage is wrong. And besides, I need to concentrate on raising my children.
(Dr stunned into silence.)
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#11
Janie,
It’s just a guess, but the fact that the medical community (in terms of M.D.’s, not all healthcare workers) is primarily male probably has something to do with that. I’m sure my husband could live without sex if he had to, but he’d have a much harder time dealing with it than I would. He assures me that there are some women who want sex just as much as men do, and he wishes I were one of them, but in the typical mismatch of sexual desire (one partner wants it more often than the other), my impression is that by far it’s usually the man who wants it more often. And a lot of that is simply the way they’re made physically. His sperm get produced every 48 hours or so, and they’re going to go somewhere, whether in a wet dream or intercourse.
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