Why the geeks get the girls
Geeks were chic last year. Even Katie Couric says so.
This December, Beauty and the Geek wrapped up its fourth season. NBC premiered Chuck, starring a Nerd Herder, and ABC started Big Bang Theory, featuring two “brainiacs” who “can tell their quarks from their quantum physics, but have no clue how women add up.” Hollywood witnessed the success of gentle geeks like Juno’s Michael Cera.
Spencer Koppel, founder and manager of Geek 2 Geek, told WoW his geek dating service has seen more women seeking geeky men. When he started Geek 2 Geek in 2004, the ratio was 70% male to 30% female. Now the ratio is about 55% male to 45% female, and some of the 50,000 users are female beauties seeking geeks. One profile features a pretty blonde who admits, “Honestly: I’m not a geek at all. … I just joined this site because I’m into nerdy guys who wear glasses.”
It may sound trivial, but women’s interest in geeks reflects a shift in cultural values. Koppel, who will soon attend his fiftieth high school reunion, said, “When I was going to school as a geek it was kind of rough.” Couric said pop culture is finally valuing brains over beauty. Carrie Sloan of Tango wrote, “There’s been a paradigm shift, and the very stuff that used to be geeky — gadgets, technology, interactivity — is suddenly sexy.” Sloan quoted cultural anthropologist Kevin Anderson: “The supernerd embodies one of the primary obsessions of our current times: ability to access information.”
Koppel added that some things haven’t yet changed. Female geeks aren’t seeing the same popularity. According to Geek 2 Geek surveys, males – even geeks – still value looks over intelligence. But when it comes to pocket-protected guys with glasses and gadgets, American Hi-Fi is right: The geeks get the girls.

















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back to top17 Comments to “Why the geeks get the girls”
That’s a switch…
I used to scratch my head over the girls in high school who would date absolute jerks. They were the bad boys and would mistreat the girls all the time. I still don’t get it. Why date a guy that ignores you, insults you, and wants you to wait on him hand and foot? Are they just stupid?
I suppose they just switched from one kind of neanderthal to another social neanderthal?
Of course the longer I’m married, the more I realize that all of us guys are pretty clueless.
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It’s about time. Looks like there is hope yet for my people…
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Right on…..and the longer I’m married, I realize even more it was by far the 2nd wisest decision I ever made. Naturally my wife is delighted, seeing we dated 16 years before we got married. I was not the geek in school though…..
I was every gals “best buddy.” *gag*
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I am married to an amazing man that some would classify as geek. He can play sports. He played basketball, ran track, and played baseball in high school. However, the guy is all about gadgets, computers and sci-fi. I tease him frequently when I hear he and his friends engaged in what I call geek speak. He takes very good care of me. He has never yelled at me or called me a name. My daughters get to grow up seeing how wonderful their father treats their mother.
In early college I dated what MIM would call a neanderthal. He had played college football and was a walk on with a pro team. Anyway, he was abusive. I was “stupid” at that time. I thought that dating a guy like him was what made me worthy. Again, I was stupid. I got out of that relationship. I didn’t date for 4 years- instead, I took the time to get to know me- what I liked, what I was good at. After the 4 years, I began to date men based on their character. Wow, what a difference that made.
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I don’t know whether my husband was ever considered a geek or not. He was a straight-A student who majored in science, but he also did wrestling and football in high school, and in college got into SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) where the guys dress up in armor and whack at each other with blunt wooden swords (you can still get hurt so you have to wear good protection including a helmet). I found out after we married, though, that his intense physical activities as a young man (working out up to 3 hours a day sometimes) had been partly to compete with his handsome and superbly athletic younger brother, and partly to compensate for his obsessive overeating.
He had been proud of never touching a computer all the way through college, but in grad school he discovered that having to retype a thesis to make updates and corrections was a real drag – then he discovered the Macintosh. When he was in seminary he worked part-time at Egghead Computers, then at Best Buy when Egghead closed their retail stores, and he was one of their best computer sales associates. He also made money doing some business on his own, doing computer training and repairs for people who were computer illiterate and didn’t want to learn any more than they had to.
I can’t imagine having been attracted to someone who wasn’t at least part geek. (The only other guy I had dated was a database administrator.) Of course, I guess I probably qualify as one myself. If CRTs had come out a few years earlier, I might have gotten into computers earlier, but I was not going to mess with those lousy punch cards, not after seeing my older sister drop the box holding her program and have to try to put them back in order. I was president of my high school’s Math League team my senior year, though, and one of relatively few girls at the Mid-Atlantic regional competition, which has to make me at least semi-geeky.
I don’t know how often guy-geeks and girl-geeks hit it off well, but my husband and I seem to be doing OK, for going on 19 years.
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I once gave a presentation for a 5th grade class about my profession. I told the class, “Imagine you are grown up and have a boss, what kind of grades do you think your boss got when they were in school?”
Every answer was “A”.
So I said, “Then be nice to anyone who get’s an “A”, they might end up your boss”.
Every head whipped around to a kid in the front and a kid in the back, as two kids shrank away from the spotlight.
Then I gave them two pieces of advice:
If anyone tells them “school” doesn’t matter, they can answer, “Only if you want to be a boss”.
Second, the Boss always makes the most money.
In high school, pretty is pretty cool. Outside of high school, money is even more cool. Especially if you want kids.
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Girls go for geeks because the rest of us cannot help them with their electronic gadgets.
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I think you’re wrong, RDean. I think most bosses are the bright “C” students: strong social skills, big vision but weak on the details, not afraid to fail. “A” students are the high-level functionaries who do the actual work of running the companies these “C” students found — the people who scramble and get it done when the boss (with no idea of what it entails) wants an updated website implemented by Friday.
On the flip side, only a very small percentage of “C” students make it big like this.
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So what would you call the kind of guy who is not geeky but also not a jock?
That’s the kind of guy I married.
(Well, he did play baseball for a while, but doesn’t fit the jock stereotype. He was shy & a bit chubby.)
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Women are wired to seek males who can provide for them.
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Opps. So-called “geeks” are now percieved as being able to provide a good living, and they now have a little cachet so as to generate some confidence in their manner – these 2 things then make them attractive.
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IF the “geeks get the girls” premise is true, which is pretty hard to swallow, it might be because of delayed marriage. Women are marrying older than ever, and having sex younger than ever. So, they play in their youth, then look for a way to settle down and leave the adventures behind.
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Oh, come on Alisa, I bet you’re dating a guy named “Cameron” who has a lantern jaw and plays rugby.
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LOL, John M! If I were only that lucky …
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Alisa – I know a single guy like that (well, his name isn’t Cammeron).
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Haha … Sorry, KRM! His name has to be Cameron.
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geeks are the product of today’s society and market…more consumer than production based…so there is an economic demand for more tech-savvy and globally minded young dudes…this means security for the alluring lass who can bag herself a geek. But if you look at the bursting romance novel industry, i don’t think women fantasize about stable-stan at the office water fountain….
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