Learn it! Speak it! Live it!
Bring Christmas to a child in need!
An 'urgency': Sensing threats to institutions of society, church leaders make declaration 
Click to Print
Include Comments
I now pronounce you dull and boring
After 20 years, it’s splits-ville for Spider-Man and his wife, Mary Jane. The latest twist in the superhero’s saga has left fans shocked:
Which is exactly the point, says Joe Quesada, editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics. It was time to shake things up in the life of Peter Parker, the nerdy New Yorker who upon being bitten by a radioactive spider attained the ability to transform himself into a web-spinning world savior. And it was easier to do that, he said, if Parker wasn’t married.
Such tends to be the case in much of the entertainment world, which seems to mark marriage as the end of all things exciting. Ever notice how many television shows (dramas and comedies alike) peter out (or get really lame) once the main characters have settled down?
I guess that’s all we can expect from the likes of Hollywood and company, but I take issue with the stereotype that marriage is boring. My biggest adventure began three and a half years ago when I said “I do,” and while life isn’t always movie-script material, it’s far from dull. Perhaps I am only a hopeless romantic–or perhaps the entertainment world has the story all wrong. What do you think: Is marriage boring? Why or why not?
back to top31 Comments to “I now pronounce you dull and boring”
Never a dull moment? Nah… there are times of tedium, but some days the drama is more than I can stand too.
It comes and goes. I take the good with the bad, and I’m not bailing out. She’s a good woman, and I’m sticking with her.
That being said, I’m mad at ‘em for doing this to Petey and MJ. Buncha morons!
Report comment to moderator
Life for me really got exciting when I got married.
But I wonder what kind of kids Clark Kent and Lois Lane would have. Someone should visit the hospital and recruit him as a running back.
Report comment to moderator
One of the 80 year olds in my Bible study has been married for 55 years to a now retired FBI agent. Yesterday she told us how surprised she was when he told a new story over the weekend. “I’ve heard all his old ones hundreds of times. But he’s still got a few new ones!”
After 30 years, I still learn new things about my own guy and I think he’s far more interesting now than he was at sexy-nerdy 22!
(Must be the bald head instead of curls to his shoulders.)
A more interesting story would have been to see how the Spiderfamily adapted to changing times–and Spidey should be thankful Mary Jane wasn’t a black widow. Aren’t they the spiders who bite the heads off their mates after . . . web crawling?
Report comment to moderator
I take issue with the stereotype that marriage is boring.
I think that’s an unfair generalization.
The article is about a comic book, but to focus on Hollywood a moment, consider television. It’s widely understood that when part of the premise of a show is a “will they or won’t they” tension between two charcters, the biggest mistake you can make is to get them together. Once the question is answered, the tension resolves and viewers don’t have as much reason to come back.
But that only applies when that tension is part of the show. There have been many good and successful series about couples who are married, and marriage is not assumed to be “dull and boring.”
Report comment to moderator
I knew a couple in their nineties who made it to 69 years. Two or three years before the husband died, his wife told me that for a recent trip (yes, they still traveled), she’d arranged for a wheelchair to meet them at the airport gate so her husband could be spared some walking. She confided to me afterward that she hadn’t known for sure if her husband would accept the wheelchair graciously, but he did. And it seemed to me wonderful that a couple could be married more than 65 years and still have some “mystery” about each other.
In my teens I had a pastor in his eighties; he and his wife had married at 20 and 18. She was rather frail by this time, and he was very tender toward her. I ended up writing a “love story” about the two of them for a creative writing class. I’ve never envied starstruck young lovers; they’re high on hormones and rather silly, and sometimes I’ve seen people marry quite foolishly. But show me a couple married 50-plus years who holds hands every chance they get, and I’ll get sentimental that that will never be my experience. (The limit of my family life expectancy is about 80, so even if I were to get married today, I simply “can’t” have a 50th anniversary.)
But stories have frequently ended with a wedding and “they lived happily ever after.” I don’t think that in itself is a bad thing; girls particularly need to grow up dreaming of marriage. But the story changes after marriage, and too often if the story has been based around romance, it’s going to be hard to suddenly change the “theme.” Even in Victorian days, if there was any story after the wedding, it was a quick summary of how many children they had, and then the story was over.
Report comment to moderator
Michelle:
I think you’re confusing two widowing insects: Black widows sometimes do, and sometimes don’t, eat their mates. Praying mantises do, probably more often than not as their entire lives they’ve eaten any other praying mantis they’ve seen. (From a nest of mantis eggs, one survives.) It’s mantises that start with the head; black widows don’t actually have a “head.” I like praying mantises except for this gruesome habit of eating all other mantises they find.
Report comment to moderator
Comedy, throughout its 2500-year history, has generally been about one thing: boy getting girl, ending with a marriage. It’s no surprise that a story loses some steam when the marriage happens, because stories tend to be about the pursuit of the union, rather than the flowering of it.
The Office (U.S. version) lost some serious steam when two of its central characters went from flirting to dating. Now that they’re dating, it’s boring.
I wouldn’t necessarily blame this one on the decline of Western Civilization. The west has been this way about marriage in stories for a long, long time.
Of course, as Everybody Loves Raymond showed us, it’s possible to mine for comedy and drama in a marriage, but it’s just not as interesting as the courtship.
Report comment to moderator
Harrison Scott Key (7): Comedy, throughout its 2500-year history, has generally been about one thing: boy getting girl, ending with a marriage. It’s no surprise that a story loses some steam when the marriage happens, because stories tend to be about the pursuit of the union, rather than the flowering of it.
… Of course, as Everybody Loves Raymond showed us, it’s possible to mine for comedy and drama in a marriage, but it’s just not as interesting as the courtship.
Frank: The Honeymooners. Fibber McGee and Molly. The Life of Riley. I Love Lucy. All in the Family.
Yup, you’re right. No comedy or drama to be had in the institution of marriage. (”But who wants to live in an institution?” Ba-da-BOOMP …)
Report comment to moderator
… Father Knows Best. Leave it to Beaver. The Brady Bunch. Ozzie & Harriet. The Bickersons. Dick van Dyke. Make Room for Daddy.
And of course, that quintessential comedy about the ups and downs of family life …
Married With Children.
(Yuck! Sorry … )
Report comment to moderator
FRANK IN PHOENIX:
Point taken.
Two things, though. First, those great examples (of comedies after marriage) are the exception in the long history of comedy. Second, there are many examples of comedies about marriage, but those generally (to make them, of course, funny) display quite dysfunctional marriages, cuckolded husbands, jealous wives, etc. In other words, situations not much better (from a believer’s perspective) than Spiderman’s divorce. In other words, when it comes to relationships in movies and books and plays, one has a tough time satisfying the Christian reader, who often, as a rule, insists on worldviewing a story to death.
Report comment to moderator
Alisa, I’m really wishing you’d written this posting differently. I went to the website horrified by the thought of Spidey and wife divorcing. Unless the article is mistaken, they don’t divorce… they make a deal with the devil (Mephisto, a popular villain) to exchange their memories of marriage to each other, for the life of Aunt May.
This is SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT than divorce! It’s like when Dallas erased the year when Bobby died, when the fans hated it. Details, Alisa…they matter!
Now, if you want to comment on how foolish the comic industry is to seemingly worship singleness, and forget how to tell interesting stories about married folks (like they do with Fantastic 4 all the time), then go for it.
Report comment to moderator
Sorry…that should be Kristin, not Alisa….
Now I’M the one fudging details….
Report comment to moderator
Asa reader of comic books I have to interject and object to cultural critics who decide it now time to judge the editorial choices of the medium now that something is happening to which they can argue condemns “entertainment.”
While Marvels method of ending the Spider-man/Mary-Jane marriage was truly lame, it was a pretty decent choice in general. I would have preferred a more human ending. You have to remember that the their marriage has lasted over 20 years! Way more than the average.
Report comment to moderator
…the Christian reader, who often, as a rule, insists on worldviewing a story to death.
What does that mean, Harrison?
Report comment to moderator
Kennetheos:
I looked back at Kristin’s post, and the word “divorce” isn’t used.
Report comment to moderator
Kennetheos’ point about the Fantastic 4 is a good one though. I don’t think Marvel has any inclination to portray marriage as an ending. IT is important to remember that this is specific to Spider-man, the history of the character, and the stories they want to tell with him.
X-men has also featured long married characters. They just had a high profile Storm/Black Panther wedding. And with a few marginalized but still acknowledged gay characters, we might see a same-sex wedding sometime in the future!
Report comment to moderator
It looks like Peter and Mary Jane have it easy. Real-life divorces don’t come with a memory-wipe.
According to Fox News:
“To briefly recap Spider-Man’s trials and tribulations, his beloved Aunt May was recently wounded by an assassin. To save her life he and Mary Jane struck a deal with the devil-like Mephisto in which she would be restored to good health if they allowed Mephisto to erase every memory of their time as a married couple.”
Marvel’s editors and writers can have the characters fall in love again, regain their memories, find new spouses, or a bunch of other possibilities.
Report comment to moderator
Apropos of not very much, another excellent and long-running TV comedy about a married couple was Mad About You. Happily, it avoided dysfunction, cuckolded husband, and jealous wife, at least for the most part. Two well-written, well-played characters with a supporting cast of believable inlaws.
The Thanksgiving turkey episode was almost as funny as the WKRP great turkey giveaway.
Report comment to moderator
Who knew the turkeys couldn’t fly?
Report comment to moderator
TRR (#14):
“Worldviewing” something to death is a term I’ve begun to use to describe how thinking (i.e., worldview savvy) Christians apply the worldview concept so thoroughly that they cease to see the trees for the forest, as it were. They miss the particulars of a story, the “story-ness” of it, treating all literature as just another form of theology espousing a worldview. But stories are way more than that.
Flannery O’Connor writes a lot about this, but she says English professors do it as much as Christians (you might call it “ism”ing a book to death). I’ve been wanting to write an essay on it for some time.
Report comment to moderator
So, Harrison, write that essay.
But do remember that professors are teaching (”exaggerating” an application to real life) and that the average Christian doesn’t begin to apply the Christian worldview to his entertainment, let alone know how to analyze the worldview of the writer, director, artist, etc. The biggest question for most seems to be, “Do I like this?”
Report comment to moderator
OK, as long as you didn’t mean it as something with which to flog Christians who prefer not to watch movies, etc., because of their *LCD content.
(*in the math sense)
Please do write that essay.
Report comment to moderator
Well, as a still-kind-of-newlywed (Sept ‘06), I’m not sure how qualified I am to comment, but it’s my opinion that sometimes married people get boring. We have to make a conscious effort at times to continue to be social and build community outside of our happy little world (no sarcasm). Especially when you marry your best friend, it’s easy to turn entirely insular.
The dynamic changes entirely once you have children, but in my part of the universe, most married couples wait years to have children.
I was wondering if someone was going to bring up “Mad About You”. And there have been other portrayals of happy, fulfilled married life – “The Cosby Show” springs to mind – though there were always secondary love stories going on in the background.
And I’d have to respectfully disagree with the idea that The Office (US) got boring once Jim & Pam got together. The Ryan part of the story is totally cracking me up now. But that’s just my opinion. Maybe I am exactly their target demographic.
(It doesn’t help that the season stopped airing halfway through!)
Report comment to moderator
What the heck is going on in comic-land these days?
- Characters have stopped aging in Better for Worse.
- Spiderman is divorcing.
- Dynamic Duo downsized (Robin departs, is killed off).
- Captain America takes a bullet and dies.
A more interesting TV/marriage topic is the huge number of Single Dad TV shows that have aired over time, many more than single mom shows. Check out: http://www.tvdads.com/tvdad.html. Think about it. My Three Sons. Courtship of Eddies Father. Bachelor Father. Who’s the Boss. Nanny and the Professor. Gunsmoke. Andy Griffith. Love Boat. Different Strokes. The list gets long fast.
Report comment to moderator
I really don’t have much to add to this conversation. As I have said before, my marriage ended mostly because no one cared to keep it going. My fault.
Anyway, I am reminded of my Aunt Pat-Pat and Uncle Sweetie-Pie (seriously that is what we called them-behind their backs of course!) She was my grandfathers older 1/2 sister. Her name was Volner and when she was in school her sweetheart was named Robertus. The graduated and he went to work for the railroad. He met and married another woman to whom he was married until death and she married and raised a family. When they were in their 80’s they accidentally met and rekindled the romance of their youth. They used to come stay with us when I was younger. She would sit and pat his knee (thus Aunt Pat-Pat) and call him her sweetie pie (thus Uncle Sweetie Pie). Now you all thought this story couldn’t get any cuter, but just wait. —-
Every night before they went to bed she would say Sweetie Pie give me your teeth. He would pop them suckers out and she would go in the bathroom and clean them for him. Talk about your TRUE love!!! Disclaimer: This is absolutely a true story.
Report comment to moderator
I truly believe that if you are married to the person God has for you, it’s one of His greatest blessings. The married couple submitted to God’s plan for their lives can look forward to a fantastic, exciting, no-holds-barred life.
However, if you picked your spouse without God’s input, get ready for a lifetime of challenges within that very marriage.
Report comment to moderator
Travis: I think that’s because male-led comedies seem to do better, demographically. Guys and girls will watch a comedy with a male lead, but if it’s only got a female lead, it gets labeled a “chick” show. Same with movies. Some Fox executive said as much earlier this year.
Gross generalization, much? But it makes sense.
Report comment to moderator
#10 As I’ve tried to tell my husband when he tries to reason with sitcom characters. “Well-adjusted people aren’t funny.”
It seems to me from a TV perspective marriage only works when the characters are already married. This holds true with adventure as well as comedy. (McMillan and Wife, Hart to Hart). Of course there was Monica and Chandler.
Kim, love the teeth story.
Report comment to moderator
Allisa – True, rare to find a successful female-led sitcom, so you’d expect fewer single-mom shows. Still the number of shows with a premise of the Dad only raising the kids is daunting.
Kbells – MacMillan and Wife was a great show! And how about John and Maureen Robinson (Lost in Space!) as another non-boring marriage in the adventure/drama class!
Some other non-dull and non-boring TV marriages: Samantha and Darren. Lily and Herman. Roseanne and Dan. Morticia and Gomez. Oliver and Lisa. George and Weezie. Ricky and Lucy. Thirsten and Lovey.
Report comment to moderator
HSK -
KBells beat me to saying what eventually came to me as I gave your reply (at 10) some thought.
Humor works when there’s an element of truth to it, but often times the funny stuff is exaggerated for humorous effect.
E.g., few people in real life are as selfish and loudmouthed as Ralph Cramden. He gets laughs because of his caraciture (sp?) of selfishness, which all of us husbands have displayed to some degree or another at one time or another. But he always realizes and confesses the error of his ways, and Alice always loves him anyways.
When shows want belly laughs, they exaggerate. When they want warmth, smiles mingled with tenderness and even sorrow, they more often play things rather realistically. (For some reason, Eight is Enough comes to mind, although I hardly ever watched it.)
Just some thoughts … YMMV …
Report comment to moderator
I’m not sure why anyone would think that we have the same expectations regarding excitement in real life that we do in movies. There are some excellent dramas that deal with the stuff of everyday life, including marriage. But action movies, especially blockbuster superhero movies, are built around events and circumstances that are decidedly not the stuff of everyday life.
Married life is not boring. But it’s not exciting in a way that anyone would be interested in making a movie out of my life. There are times that my life has enough crisis and conflict in it that I would just as soon it were a little more “boring.” And I would never want to actually live the adventures people have in action movies. But they’re fun to go see for two hours entertainment.
Report comment to moderator
back to topJoin The Conversation
You need to be a registered user of WORLDonTheWeb.com to "join the conversation."
If you are not a member yet, what are you waiting for? Register / Login Now!