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Rants! & Raves! 1.25
Got Rants! about the week past? Got Raves!?
Go ahead: Unload . . .
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back to top61 Comments to “Rants! & Raves! 1.25”
Rant: That the Packers were not able to mount any sustained offense Sunday night vs the Giants.
Rave: Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes’ comment to Letterman on the late show, when asked about his thoughts after he had missed 2 4th-quarter field goal attempts: “I’m thinking, what’s it going to be like to live in Green Bay.”
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Rave: My Virginia Cavaliers came back from three consecutive losses, in which they played lackadaisical and uninspired basketball, to put an 84-66 beat-down on Boston College.
Rant: My Virginia Cavaliers went from putting an 84-66 beat-down on Boston College to blowing a 10-point lead over FSU, losing by two to drop to 1-3 in the ACC.
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Rave: sweater weather today!
Rant: Can’t think of one right off. That in itself is actually a rave!
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Rave: my husband’s new job seems to be working out. He’s home more, is bringing home more money and with our new Insurance plan his drug bill has dropped.
Rant: The pessimist in me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Rant: Writer’s block.
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Rave: It’s almost Saturday!
Rant: Something I’ve been noticing in blog circles really gets on my nerves: people always predicting the response of other people. Christians predict the response of non-Christians, Dems predict the response of Reps, and it never seems to be done in a nice way, and it’s always a blight to otherwise intelligent conversation. ^_^
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Rave: The kids are home today due to the end of the semester. Finals are over and fun is to be had.
Rant: The kids are off today and the waves are mere ankle splashers. And after a few days rain you can’t surf in the river run-off anyway:(
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Rant: It’s still winter.
Rave: Pitchers / catchers will start to report to
spring training in just 3 weeks.
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Rave: We were blessed with a good trip in the past week with daughter and grandkids. Our driving weather was good and we all had fun.
Rave: We missed the worst of the coldest weather and it is now warming a bit.
Rant: My poor daughter returned home just in time to travel for another funeral to her husband’s home town. It is their fourth in the past several months in his family. She is TL, who also posts from time to time.
The really sad thing is that the funeral is for her husband’s Aunt Kathy, who was only 45. Her husband just buried his mom this week and now has his wife’s funeral today! When it rain, it pours!
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Amen to your rave, Justus.
Rave: To the shuttle bus driver who drove me to Bloomington last weekend. Thanks for not dropping me off on campus at IU as scheduled, allowing me to pop in and surprise my girlfriend for her birthday.
Rave: I have the most beautiful niece in the world. Everyone else can just give up.
Rant: Kuchinich is out of the race. Where are all my cheap jokes going to come from?
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Rave: Miss California, Melissa Chaty, is a charming young woman, inside and out, who was in our youth group when we lived in Ukiah. She has a shot at Miss America tomorrow night!
Rave: Plenty of rain filling our reservoirs
Rant/Rave:Another wild storm here with gale force winds. I love the excitement of weather when I’m safe indoors, but we have to go out tonight.
Rave: Tile guy is here to start tiling the bathroom today.
Rant: Above weather and two visiting relative dogs who like to escape . . .
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Rave: [see Extra Spending Money thread] the fam’ and I are lookin’ to git a lil’ windfall from de gummint come May or June. (As much as $2100, depending on the final language on the bill)
Rant: said gummint charged said gift to everybody’s grandchildren, who will be left with the ballooning federal debt when we’re all out of here.
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Rave:
Cool technical updates on the blog!
Rave:
I finally got the guys to stop complaining about faulty setup in the design program, and sit down with me to fix it! Now they may actually use the design method as it was intended to be used, saving oodles of time. It only took a couple of hours to run through it and tweak it, no telling how many hours of fiddling with cabinet designs we could have saved if we had done this a couple of years ago.
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Rave: The work of Dr No and company to get this place a few upgrades.
Rant: Athletes who get special treatment. I gave detentions to two basketball players who don’t know the meaning of quiet during class. They were supposed to spend it last night, which would have meant missing a game. Instead their detention was rescheduled so they could get on the bus.
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Rave: My sister with terminal cancer has remained about the same for the last month. Her spirits have remained high.
Rave: My dental work will be finished on Monday–hopefully for a long time to come.
Rave: My mother is getting her gallbladder removed today. It’s been causing her lots of discomfort.
Rant: Fred Thompson withdrew from the race.
Rant: Our government is becoming more socialist, and most people are hypnotically saying, “I love Big Brother!”
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Rave: Justus’ reminder in #7. Some of the most wonderful words to appear in wintertime: Pitchers and catchers please report for spring training.
Rant: A week of freezing temperature, with last night being in the single digits (again).
Rave: The weatherman said it should be in the 60’s by Monday!
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Rant – the blatant faking of news and the manipulation of public opinion by the news media.
See this news and photo from the AP
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/slideshow/photo//080122/481/c49733208dfd423fbafde5d4a4ece8c4/
then see this
http://www.solomonia.com/blog/archive/2008/01/darkness-at-noon-msm-plays-along-with-ha/
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Rave: wonderful time of fellowship this morning with fellow sisters in the Lord
Rant: $3 left till payday, and out of toilet paper, detergent, milk, and fruit. Hmm….which should I buy???
Blessings!
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Rave: Getting high speed Internet Wednesday. Good-bye dial up.
Rant: It’s too cold to go out and the kid is getting antsy. I’ve already done the children’s museum so if I do the fast food play place today I’ll have nothing for tomorrow.
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kbells- Save money and play interactive games like charades or indoor hide-and-seek with the children.
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or let him build a fort out of the couch cushions and some blankets and then have a lego war with him.
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Rave: editing a novel I enjoy
Rant: still “waiting” on several things, including an overdue large check
Rant: It’s cold this week
Rave: Whenever it’s this cold, I remind myself I could still be in Chicago, where this level of cold (or worse) is “normal” in the winter. Thank You God that I’m not in Chicago anymore!
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Cheryl D – are you still waiting on your book deal?
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Thanks for your words of encouragement, RobHays and TJ
Now it’s my first day on the rant/rave posts and just realized I have alot more raves…….
rave: my job as a prep cook in a nice restaurant
rave: my strong christian theology and beliefs.
rave: knowing our freedoms in this great country, like the one we all use to write our thoughts / concerns on a blog like World on the Web
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22 & 23. Thanls for the advice but did hide and seek this afternoon, saving the Lego and blocks for the evening and quite frankly I’m trying to avoid some of the neighbors kids. They are proving to be not so good an influence. Yesterday one of them said something racist and another used some language most adults wouldn’t use.
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Klasko,
Having a little experience with several relatives who are bi-polar, I’m here to tell you that the system is heavily weighted toward protecting the rights of the mentally ill. The justice system isn’t geared to getting them much if any help, and to hell with family members who have tried everything they can think of. It’s a revolving door.
Some states do better than others on this issue. Georgia doesn’t have a very good track record, but things may be looking up here. I certainly hope so.
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KBells,
I had to laugh at your post, not that it is funny. But the kids just got back from a visit to an old foster family (state mandated visit)and the dad confessed that he had erred. He told the kids MLK day was Coon day. When they asked what that meant, he explained that the day was set aside for the niggers. They needed an explanation for that as well. Kids will run into this type of garbage and it is our job to teach them how to deal with it. Protecting him from it is good, but if he is going to be in public school or private school, he will hear this stuff.
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Rave:
New help for people suffering from Alzheimer’s and dementia? Maybe:
http://tinyurl.com/3xem75
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Klasko, My sympathy to you with your mentally ill relative. I hope there is some kind of family group you can get connected with. We ran into this same type of thing. Fortunately before anyone was hurt, our relative ended up being hospitalized because he was throwing himself in front of cars that were driving. Then he threw a heavy bedside table into a wall, while in the hospital. My husband still had to go before a judge with another brother, but they finally did commit him. Said brother is now doing fine on meds and finally does stay on them. He also calls if he feels something is wrong with his thinking. He was quite angry with everyone for awhile, but is grateful now. While none of us wants it to be easy to just commit someone, it is very frustrating when you know someone will hurt himself or someone else and there is nothing that can be done.
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MiM: I have a schizophrenic sister and have found the system to be exactly as you describe it in #28. Have you had any relatives who have had schizophrenia?
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Faithful wives, I have to come on here and vent for just a moment (maybe this should go on rants and raves). I hope you will allow me to be completely transparent for a moment. In public, and on here, I always *try* to make a point to be respectful of my husband. I love him dearly, and he has an enormous amount of responsibility, so I understand that my position as a helpmeet is extremely important. I don’t ever want to damage our testimony for the Lord by being disrespectful of him by my speech.
BUT, I am risking it right now because I truly feel the need to get it out. Ladies, feel free to “admonish” me as needed…8*(
I think I mentioned earlier that I am struggling with the same health issues I did last year. This makes me extremely fatigued and sleepy, nauseous and dizzy, and irritable. (What a lovely combination, I know…) BUT, I am really trying to keep up with my duties at home, and in support of my husbands ministry. I did a lot of “behind-the-scenes” stuff for hubby today as well. He came home for 10 minutes (between work and another obligation that will keep him away till very late tonight), and found the 2 things that I did NOT do today. This caused him to become very angry. He is a godly man, but when he is angry he tends to think of “verbal” things to say that he knows will hurt me. In college, I struggled with an eating disorder and overexercise to keep “skinny” (hubby makes it know he likes me that way). Though I have mastered that disorder *physically*, I have not mastered it *emotionally* (if that makes sense). So when hubby has had a bad day and is upset at me, he likes to remind me of what I *used* to look like (ie..my skinny days). I don’t know why, but tonight it just really really hurt, and I went off by myself for a good cry.
Well, I will probably regret writing this later, but it just had to come out.
Blessings, all….
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Ow.
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Tychicus,
Bi-polar. However psychology doesn’t appear to be a hard science, and one of the relatives has been diagnosed variously as bi-polar, schizophrenic etc. However, manic depression/bi-polar runs in that family, so I’d say it’s mainly bi-polar. This particular fellow also has a drug habit, which probably didn’t help one iota.
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momoffour,
You are not alone, we all have similar stories whether we say it or not. Praying for you. You are responsible to the One. You are to live according to His rules. Honor your hubbie and train up your children, but you are not expected to be perfect until later. Ask the Lord to show you your hubbie through His Eyes and you will develop a better understanding of him and of you and of Him. I want to offer you a hug, a cup of tea, an hour or two in the living room to chat about the things that matter. For now, I am sending them virtually and praying that the Lord will lighten your heart, and open hubby’s eyes.
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momoffour,
Do you have some in the Family you can go to for counseling? It is possible your hubbie does not realize he is taking out his frustrations with others on you. Is there a brother and sister he trusts that can help him with this issue?
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mumsee–
Thank you for your wisdom. I have some “sisters in the Lord” that I *could* talk with, and have sometimes in the past. But, as I mentioned before, I like to be careful just what I share with people who know my husband. I don’t want to tarnish *his* testimony. Also, I know how God would want me to react in such situations, so I don’t want to join the ranks of bitter wives who just gather to complain about their husbands. I have such a negative impression of some women I know who *constantly* belittle their husbands, that I don’t want to come across that way by discussing some of my own problems. I think that’s why its easier to mention it here–my husband’s testimony is not damaged by my sharing it with you all (I hope) because you don’t know who I am. But maybe, by this discussion, I could glean some wisdom in how to react in times like this.
If the physical things weren’t added in, I feel like I could handle problems easier. My church family knows about my current health problems, but not about my past history/struggles.
Thanks, everyone. Sorry to unload on a Friday evening.
Also, when hubbie says those hurtful things, he knows they are hurtful. He has told me in the past that that is why he says them (he’s not justifying it, he just knows that’s how he can get to me…) If I hadn’t had years in the past where I struggled with “body image”, it wouldn’t hurt me as much…
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Klasko,
Yep, still waiting on the book deal, one of several things. They had said “about two weeks” for the second meeting on it, which would mean in the last couple days. So it’s too early to be anxious–even if they loved the book, it still might take some time to figure out what they want in a contract. But I was hoping to hear this week, or at least by the end of the month (next week). And I’m trying to get an agent for another book, and I want to tell the agent that I got this deal and hope it helps him decide to accept the other book!
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momoffour,
I would love to talk with you: mumsee2002@yahoo.com
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momoffour,
I certainly understand not wanting to become a bitter whiner and have met them as well. The Lord has provided me with a few beautiful older women with whom I can share my difficulties and they will not let me sink to whining but will help me to turn my eyes on the Lord. They are out there and we are called to the fellowship of believers, not just for making merry but to share our heartaches and concerns.
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mumsee,
Thanks for the offer of a listening ear. My husband and I share an email account, so its probably better I not receive email about this issue…8*) Your kind words have soothed my anxiety some, thank you. I do so want to respond to my husband in a way that honors the Lord; I’m just going to keep on truckin’ and keep on lookin’ up.
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momoffour,
Keep your eyes open for that listening ear in your area, maybe not in your church, but in the Body. Somebody has been placed there who can give you the solid help you need. Not as a gossip receptacle but as a wise older woman. You would be surprised, perhaps, at how many have been there before you and are waiting for the Lord to open a door so they can share what He has taught them. Our Father knows our needs and often provides the answer through His living tools, us.
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Momoffour, I’m praying for you.
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Momoffour,
Your husband should love you unconditionally. He should not love you based on what you do or what you look like. I don’t think it is very godly for a man to treat his wife the way you described, especially a man in “ministry.”
In my 17 years of marriage, I have never treated my wife the way you describe your husband’s treatment, and she has never treated me that way. We’ve had fights, but we have never demeaned each other that way. I mention that to say that it shouldn’t be the way you described and doesn’t have to be. It’s not normal, and it’s certainly not right. You’re own pain tells you so.
(This sounds very drastic, but I would probably leave my wife until she agreed to get help and agreed to stop treating me that way. I had my own problems with self-esteem and could not live with anybody who tore it down again.)
I suggest that you need good marriage counseling from a biblical perspective. Any man who would remprimand his ill wife for a couple of undone chores or for a bit of added weight has some issues to work on. And it sounds like you are both under a huge amount of stress, which always heightens other emotional and relational struggles.
If you cannot or will not get family counseling, then I hope that you will at least talk to somebody who can teach you how to lovingly confront your husband.
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First of all MomofFour, Your husband’s responsibilities also include you and your children and it sounds to me as if they’re being neglected.
Respect works both ways.
I’m sorry – I don’t mean to hurt you but I question how “godly” a man is who can say such hurtful things to his wife, the mother of his children.
And Mumsee, I also think it’s unfair, although very common, for Christians to almost always put the responsibility back on the wife, who is almost always overburdened and the one making the biggest efforts.
MomofFour’s hubby needs to ask the Lord to show him his wife through His eyes.
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Kyle A,
I appreciate your thoughts. A year after we were married, we actually did talk to some dear Christian friends about similar issues, only to find out later that it actually made some situations worse for my husband. So I have determined that I need to continue working on my own heart, and give my husband to the Lord. It’s just one of those things that I *know*, but somedays the devil doesn’t want to let me do it. I think the fact that my husband is working so hard for the Lord, in ways, sometimes makes the whole situation a little more complicated. He is constantly being bombarded by people with problems, so I am almost a “safe target.” I’m not going anywhere, and I love him, so he’ll take a little bit more out on me than maybe he should.
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momoffour,
In 48 you describe exactly what seems to us to be the difficulty. And you are to focus on your own heart issues. But your husband appears to be in the arena of 1Timothy 3:1-7. It is important to have a good reputation but not by a lack of integrity. Your husband is called to treat you with respect and dignity just as you are called to honor him. You say he is aware of the problem and deliberately using it. You need to get the help of trusted believers. He needs to be following the Guidance to be the best servant. And this is one area that is particularly addressed. In the perspective of the world, this is abuse. In the perspective of believers, he is in need of repentance and that may require outside assistance. But it is difficult and I certainly understand your hesitancy. Have you tried talking to him in a nonwhiney tone? Just straight forward telling him how it hurts and impacts your ability to serve.
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Yes, mumsee, I have talked to him. I feel I’ve already, perhaps, gone too far tonight. I have appreciated the help you all have given, and would appreciate your continued prayers for myself and my husband. I don’t want to give Satan a foothold in our marriage–I certainly know he would love to tear us apart.
I won’t monopolize any more space tonight on this topic. I do *truly* appreciate your taking the time to give me some things to think on and pray about.
Good night…
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Oh, Momoffour, my heart goes out to you! My own dear husband is a very good man, but he does have an impatient streak that often causes him to be hurtful towards me.
Does your husband really know what you’re going through, & how hard it is to be alone with 4 kids even on a good day? If not, you really need to let him know, & beseech his help. (As Mumsee said, in a straightforward, non-whiny way. I would add “in a humble way”, too.)
Do you think he realizes that his primary ministry is to his family? I hope that God pricks his heart & reminds him, if he has forgotten.
I understand VS’s frustration. It does seem that so much falls on the wife. And yet, believing that doesn’t excuse us from having to submit ourselves to God & ask Him to help us be the wife He wants us to be.
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Mom of Four,
Sorry. That’s awful.
Mumsee is right that we all have less than stellar moments in our marriages.
Also, I do not believe you are being dishonoring to your husband by asking for help.
I have a couple of impressions: He seems to be fighting dirty in his anger.
Also, anger is a secondary emotion. Is he sad or frustrated and sick of feeling that way? What unresolved issue is at the root of his outburst?
I think you can gently, respectfully speak the truth in love, when the hurricane blows over a bit.
Try keeping the words constructive and non-attacking:
“I felt _______ when you said (or did)_______”
That keeps the criticism constructive.
All of that said, we all need God to intervene when the going gets way too rough.
I will pray that God will minister to you, and that you will have the grace to release your husband’s wrongs into God’s hands, who knows exactly how to handle the situation and truly help you.
Love in Christ.
EYG
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VS – As I wrote above, I understand your frustration.
This is what I believe about why much of that responsibility falls on the wife. . .
Wives often recognize the problems in their marriage before their husbands do. God works through the obedience, submission, & prayers of the wife to get to the husband. Yes, He uses other people & even counselling if needed, but if the wife is not willing to submit herself & her feelings to God, & let her own attitudes be changed if God wills, then there will be a stumbling block in the husband’s way.
It’s as if the wife is a sort of channel to her husband. Her humility & submission to the Holy Spirit keeps that channel clear & open.
I don’t know if I explained that well. Here in Conn., it’s after 10:00, & my bedtime is 9:30, so I’m pretty tired.
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VS, Karen O,
I agree that all too often, Christian wives get all the blame.
And we do need to remember how a husband is won over…
(It’s not what you might be thinking…)
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Momoffour,
Know that I’m praying for you. If you want to email me about something generic, I’ll email back my phone number, if you’d like to talk.
cameryn_nc@hotmail.com
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Kyle – I really appreciated your input on this topic. Thank you.
Again, I see how as Christians, we tend to shift the burden back onto the wife – “don’t be whiny”, be obedient, submissive, be in prayer. These are all good things but if the wife is consistently and faithfully doing these things and the husband still is abusing her verbally (yes, Mumsee, I call it abuse and I’m saying that from a Christian perspective) it’s totally unfair to keep piling on the guilt and responsibity to the wife.
EYG – I know what you’re saying about the attitude that wins our husbands over – although I think in that particular portion of Scripture, they are talking about an unsaved husband. If the husband is saved, he should be treating his wife as Christ treats us. Have we ever been abused, in any way, shape or form, from Him?
Karen and EYG – I appreciate both of you and your sweet spirit – it is so obvious. You’re both able to say things and say them “seasoned with grace.”
I believe in the biblical pattern for marriage, but I can’t say that I see it all that often. It’s a beautiful thing when it’s done biblically and biblically is when the husband is being a strong, LOVING leader.
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VS and others,
It was never my intention to “blame” the woman. In my experience, the woman is only able to manipulate her own behavior, not her spouses and so can only personally address her own behavior making certain it was to the glory of the Lord. In this case, it appeared she also needed to call on further assistance to help her husband address his problems. None of us are innocent and I think it wise to look at ones’ own actions to make sure they are going right (the mote in the eye). Clearly, a husband by definition, is to be caring for his wife. Scripturally he should be treating her with dignity and respect, if the husband is not, he is in the wrong. But our sister was looking for a place to vent her frustrations without slipping into the so common scene of a spouse badmouthing a spouse. Perhaps I went overboard on offering my thoughts, if so, my deepest apologies.
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Momoffour: I am praying for you also. I have been where you seem to be physically also, due to a thryroid condition. There were/are times that it is very difficult to deal emotionally with things like this. That needs extra prayer as well as whatever is going on in the relationship. My husband and I went through a marriage study by the Rainy’s. It helped me see more how my husband was percieving things. I was amazed by how inadequate he could feel by the smallest things. Also, the Five Love Lanquage book was helpful in helping me realize how differently we all percieve things.
I think it is great advice on the part of EYG to start a conversation with “When you said ___, it made me feel___”. I have often done this, even admitting before I began that I realized that my husband did not mean to make me feel that way. In this case, it sounds like your husband did know he would make you feel this way and that does needs to be confronted. Whatever you do, do not sweep this under the rug. That is what gives the devil a foothold down the way. Things like this can build up until they are almost beyond fixing. If you cannot talk, a note will often open a door to some decent discussion. It is your job as helpmeet to remind your husband from time to time of his priorities. As a minister’s wife, it is hard to have the sounding board you need. It is certainly the same for your husband, who can have an admiring group around him to his detriment. How easily our feet can slip, both as husband and wife! Again, praying for you both.
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Rant:
The search option doesn’t.
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Rant: I never have time to come to this site, My email doesn’t have spell-check, and Hamachi disappeared off this blog for the past two months.
Rave: I finally got my paycheck.
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