Another tacit theological belief I catch myself indulging is the notion that being extra-good will entice God to give me good stuff. Much as I despise Prosperity Doctrine, I preach it to myself at times. I’ll be diligent in prayer not because I want communion, but because I want a better job, or a relationship to be healed. I begin to tell myself that I have work to do, in order to get what I think I need from God. It’s just one of many ways we find to diminish Him, by making him a spiritual vending machine.

In times of fear I revert to the flip-side of this theology, imagining that if I don’t behave better, some dread sword poised over my neck will drop. My sick child will get worse. I’ll get fired from that job I complain about so often, but actually happen to need. So here I come again, quarter in my hand, to the Maker of heaven and earth, to drop in the slot and punch in my order. I beg and plead on my knees, and if anyone were to witness it he might well conclude that I am an earnest-hearted Christian. But what is going on, likely as not, is that I am acting on the false notion that I can, through dint of hard spiritual work, make God do my will.

It’s difficult, because there is the Biblical talk of blessings and curses. We certainly see them in the natural realm: lusts of the flesh (and I include here more than just the sexual ones) frequently destroy that same flesh, as well as the heart and mind hidden beneath it. But one could easily conclude that aside from natural consequences, God is supernaturally meting out additional punishments and rewards based on our conduct. I suppose that’s possible, even likely. But it works according to a mystery that is beyond me. This is why Donald Trump has a Mercedes-Benz SLR, and my pastor has a Ford. It’s why the Apostles were tortured and murdered almost to a man, while many a wicked person has lived high on the hog and died comfortably in his bed. When one surveys the sweep of history, it’s hard to hold to the notion that the physical things one receives supernaturally from God, in this life, are determined by one’s actions.

His purposes, after all, are greater than our immediate wants, which is insanity to the non-Christian, and perhaps to many a Christian as well. We are caught up in the great sweep of a history He shapes, and some of us are prospered while others are ground into dust. What fascinates me is that the latter are sometimes the ones praising Him the most earnestly. The faithful life, it seems, and in particular, prayer, has nothing whatsoever to do with getting a satisfactory result out of God, and everything to do with clinging so close to God that we can pass through the worst this world has to offer without losing the deep-seated sense that we are children in the hands of a loving Father.

Sometimes, when I pray, I actually remember this. Sometimes the sun settles on my skin, or I hear the laughter of my children, and I remember. And thankfully, He forgives me when I forget.

Here is a link to Tony’s first post in this series: “Tacit theologies.”