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Picturing the church
My son gets out of jail and into a halfway house in April. When I visited him last weekend, he said he would try to get passes from his parole officer to go to church with me.
My first reaction was unadulterated joy. My second reaction was more adulterated — a mental ransacking of the state of my local church, attempting the point of view of a 25-year-old ex-con.
Or, turning the prism to yet another facet, from the point of view of horticulture — what clime best promotes growth of tender shoots just emerging from God’s hothouse of converts that is the prison system. Many a man who was desperate for Jesus in his cell is beguiled again by everything from the world’s allure to its aloneness once released into the streets.
Would to God a few at the church door will be as friendly as AA meeting folks dependably are. Would to God Linda Woods and Nelson Shane and Tom Becker will be there, no mere pew sitters but filled with the Spirit and always ready in season and out of season to have their lives redirected on short notice to take a stranger to lunch. Would to God the sermon will be anointed and not trifling, ingrown, or provincial.
Funny how when push comes to shove you don’t need seminary education to know exactly what the Church should look like.
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What about a house church? Nice combo of AA good and Church good? The church is not the building, but it is hard to not experience that when you are in one and paying for one. This article brings out the needs that everyone has, not just the ex-con.
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If you find one, let me know. The way I’ve been treated at churches since my divorce makes me long for the same and have yet to find. It would be easier and more welcoming to sit in Starbucks for a few hours than go to church where I know I’m looked at with great caution and narrow eyes … from a long distance away … cause God help them if they were to actually, physically, come into my “space” and have a conversation with me … or invite my kids to play with theirs … or invite us to eat a meal with them. I have yet to find such a place. So if you and/or your son do, I’d like to know about it … just to know that there is at least one church somewhere who loves people more than their perceptions of people.
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AME-I have been there. It is awful. It is freeing to learn what I found this year in Divorce: A Gift of God’s Love, on the original language used in the Bible on divorce.
The word translated “putting away” in Malachi 2:16 is not keriythuwth, the Hebrew word for divorce, but is shalach. See Malachi 2:14-16 in the American Standard Version, 1901, (google for this ). The practice of putting away was cruel and adulterous, but it was not a legal divorce. It was much worse for it ignored the wife’s welfare. She was cast aside and not lived with as a true spouse. (It can apply to both genders).
Scholars today say you can make no distinction between the two words because they were used synonymously. Yes, they were by hard-hearted men. That is what Deut. 24:1-2 and Matt. 19:7-8 were all about. They are not synonymous words; they are actually antonymous. They are the difference between slavery and freedon for one-half of humanity, women, (or as happens in our society, either gender)
Many of us have heard numerous sermons on “God Hates Divorce” based on this passage in Malachi on “putting away.” My thought is that God wants the situation legal. If you are living together, you should be legally married. If you are not living with each other as true spouses, then make it legal by getting divorced so that real marriage can occur with someone else.
In Leviticus 21:14, 22:13, and Numbers 30:9, some isolated references to divorced women. The word translated divorce in all these cases is another word, the Hebrew word garash, meaning “to drive out from a possession,” and was divorce only in the sense that the women had been driven out. The word used is the very same word used repeatedly in Exodus 6:1, 23:28, 29, 30, 31, 33:2, 34:11, when the Bible spoke of driving out the Canaanites and Hivites from the land. It also, like shalach, is a harsh word, “to thrust out,” containing none of the protection for women of Deut. 24:1-3, and the word for written divorce, keriythuwth, in her hand.
Luke 16:18, Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery. The New Testament word translated “put away” is a form of the Greek word, apoluo. It is the Greek word apostasion which is the technical term for a bill or writing of divorce as far back as 258 BC. Again, many, who are hard-hearted, and don’t believe in the rights of both spouses, use these two terms as synonyms. The distinction between “put away” and “divorce” between these Greek words is critical. Apoluo dismissed the woman, but left her married, put away, with no rights, no recourse, and deprived of the basic right to monogamous marriage. Apostasion ended marriage and permitted a legal subsequent marriage.
In 1611, the KJV inconsistently translated apoluo in Matt. 5:31-32,”…and marrieth her that is divorced committeth adultery. In the New Testament, forms of apoluo appear 69 times but only in this one instance, (in KJV) is it translated divorce. If it had been traslated in harmony with the rest of the KJV, it would say, “And whosoever shall marry her who has been put away (or abandoned or dismissed, etc.) committeth adultery.”
The Holy Bible from the Ancient Eastern Text, Matt. 5:32b reads, “And whosoever marries a woman who is separated, but not divorced, commits adultery.” Luke 16:18b reads, “He who marries the on ewho is illegally separated commits adultery.” This translation highlights the misunderstanding made possible by that inconsistent KJV translation of Matt. 5:32.
The translation error was corrected in the American Standard Version of the Bible, 1901. Imagine overcoming 270 years of reading “divorced”. that 1611 KJV mistranslation in this one instance has so dominated our thinking that virtually all modern translations say “divorced,” not just in that one place, but in ALL 11 places. They completely ignore the correction provided by the 1901 American Standard Version, and ignore the distinction between the two words.
With “divorced” in our minds instead of “separated, but not divorced” or “put away” we have assumed that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. We have assumed “divorced” was said in these passages when in every instance the Greek text actually says “put away.” Would our theology be different today is that word had been translated “put away?”
Mtt.1:19, 5:31,32, (but not at the end of the verse), 19:3, 7,8,9,9, Mark 10:2,4,11,12, Luke 16:18, 18(compare this to Matt. 5:32
In the Old Testament, shalach, “to send forth” is found in
Deut. 22:19, Isaiah 50:1, Jer. 3:1, 8
Mt. 19:9
Whosoever shall put away (separate from) his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away (separated) committeth adultery.
This verse says nothing about WHY one can get divorced. It simply says not to marry someone who is (separated) not legally divorced.
It told the men that they had to obey rules, just like the court does with my ex-husband today.
You have to read it with the use of the phrase putting away, which is in the original and which you will NOT find in most modern translations.
Part of our problem here is that we can’t allow for the possiblity that our beloved theologians could be wrong.
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2-Have you tried a house church or are these bad experiences occurring in churches where there are LOTS of expenses?? Pagan Christianity (a book) has shed some light on this sad state of affairs as well.
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Ame – My church is a welcoming, loving, gracious body of believers. And I know of others like it.
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You are describing hundreds of thousands of churches across the country. It’s a systemic problem. It comes with the institutionalized church system, whether 100 people or 10,000, whether organ and piano or full combo setup. A few saints follow the Spirit into a contributing dynamic and the majority seek after a consuming dynamic. A few yearn to give and a lot seek to get. The main gathering is dominated by a ceremony oriented truth expression of one man. “Would to God” believers could see God has very specifically requested we gather for a deeply relational, mutually building and contributing “meeting”. “Let us consider how we can spur one another on to love and good works, not giving up the habit of meeting as some is, but encouraging one another, and all the more as we see the day approaching.” Heb. 10:24,25 The system has been pulpit and pew dominated for so long everyone thinks it’s normal and God ordained because their “leaders” like it this way. The relational shallowness and self-centered orientation are side effects of systemic failure to follow our Lord. The head of the church has asked for something different. His grace is big. He provides His Lindas, Shanes, and Toms in spite of our traditions, but he longs for us ALL to follow His lead. One by one, we believers must “throw off the things that hinder, and the sin that so easily entangles, so we can run with perseverance, the race marked our for us.” It’s time to leave behind the race marked out by tradition.
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My church isn’t a house church, but it’s a small church that takes love seriously. We have ex-cons who attend. Two Sundays ago, one of them brought three friends, and last week they came back. They felt love. We want them to come, and they know it.
One of our ex-cons (a great big black man in our mostly white church) was inviting someone else to our church, in the hearing of one of our elders. And he told his friend that our church really loves him–people hug him, and the first week he was there he was amazed that women didn’t hide their pocketbooks when he came in. Now, when we have testimonies or prayer time, he’s willing to be very vulnerable–trying to love his daughters after years of not being a daddy, for instance.
These guys’ struggles are often intense. They face temptations most of us don’t, without family support or basic skills most of us take for granted. They really do need us–and we need them too. Last fall one of them, who had been “out” a few years, stood right before Christmas and said how good it was to feel like he could have a “normal” Christmas.
To be a part of the church being the church is truly beautiful. And there are ministries out there that can help, by the way, such as Koinonia House based out of (I think) Wheaton, Illinois–post-prison ministry is what they do. (For us, it helps that one of our elders is a prison chaplain, who knows these men and helps disciple them. But the whole church comes alongside them. And at our Christmas party this last year, one of these men was able to love some families in our church in some very neat ways, incredible to watch.)
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Cheryl,
Thanks for the Wheaton tip. My son hopes to be there in the fall for college.
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6-TIMA
Did YOU read Pagan Christianity? It sounds like it. Thanks for the good post.
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2-
There is a difference between feeling “accepted” while you are in the church building and eating at a potluck and actually being included into other peoples’ lives while not in church. It is like they will feel defiled if they include you in their lives. I was told that by one female bastion of the faith. She did not want to hear about my life (while going through a divorce) because it would defile the Christians.
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The religion called Christianity (thanks to Constantine) and God’s work in the world are often not the same thing. Job 29–he bragged, as it were, that he made the widow’s heart sing, he delivered the poor that cried, when God was watching over him.
God put suffering in the world to show who the truly righteous are… the righteous will take notice and help to alleviate the suffering, James 1:26,27
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Andree, I’m glad your son will soon have his freedom again. You must be very happy.
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Reg – thanks for the info – I’ve printed it off. That’s encouraging.
If there are house churches around where I live, I am unaware of them, and I wouldn’t know how to find out about them.
“There is a difference between feeling “accepted” while you are in the church building and eating at a potluck and actually being included into other peoples’ lives while not in church. It is like they will feel defiled if they include you in their lives. I was told that by one female bastion of the faith. She did not want to hear about my life (while going through a divorce) because it would defile the Christians.”
YES!!!!!!!
“actually being included into other peoples’ lives while not in church.”
YES!!!!!!!
THAT’S the part that people seemingly do NOT get! I can get a warm, fuzzy, “Sunday” experience at Starbucks; I can get great Bible teaching on the radio; I can NOT get deep, inclusive, relationships in either of those places.
Another false-truth is that “it takes two to divorce.” NOTHING could be farther from the truth. It takes two to make a marriage work, but it only takes one to destroy it. That plays heavily into how “the church” views those going thru and who are divorced.
***
Karen – I am thankful to know your church is warm and welcome.
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There was famous Christian who once said:
“When you find the perfect church they wont let me in” or something like that .
Ofter when I get out of church I’ll talk to my husband about the things that bother me in our church…”after all we are the only perfect church”.
He reminds me that the church is made up of sinners who have been forgiven …..JUST LIKE ME.
The issues can be disturbing at times but it is still good to remember that the Lord is governing his church …despite ourselves… and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it.
Praise the Lord that he has in fact made it so.
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13–AME
Tim Gallant has a house church, look up his website and ask him if he knows anyone in your area. It is far fetched, but worth a try.
As my counselor says, “It takes two to keep a (sick) cycle going.” People who talk the “it takes two to divorce” have not lived where you have been. The reason that you do not meet others who HAVE lived where you have been is because the “church” typically (in some cases) drives them away.
There is no perfect anything in this world. Is THAT a reason to not seek to improve where we see the need? Would that attitude work in the business world? How about in surgery?
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Ladies,
On behalf of the body of Christ, please accept my apologies for the poor ways you have been treated by many who should have, or may not have, known better. I’m sorry you have not felt welcomed in what should be a haven for sinners.
You’re welcome to join us any time at St. Mark Lutheran Church. And we’d welcome former prisoners as well. We know we are saved by grace alone, not for anything we ourselves have done, but the blood of Christ shed on behalf of all of us, once and for all.
I’m sorry so many believers didn’t remember the blessings of grace–given and received–when meeting you.
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That person who said that “there is no perfect church” is correct. As I reflect on the many denominations I have tried over my lifetime, it seems that each of them got at least one aspect of reality down really well. But only one. The rest went out the window because
1)we must have building, which means that
2) we must have programs to bring in people to pay for the building, etc…
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Andrée,
I will be praying for you and your son. I too hope the Church you attend will be ‘welcoming’ to your son, IF they aren’t they should be ASHAMED!
One thing Andree, if your church isn’t up to speed on loving those who come through the door, or if they can’t understand that people make mistakes, that means EVERYONE, and are standing shoulder to shoulder with them in church …… needing friendship, understanding and love, ….. why not find another church?….. I hope this doesn’t offend you, but I would consider looking for another church if the one I was at, couldn’t see that someone who steps through that door is just the same as I, a sinner. Maybe the person hasn’t become a Believer yet, it makes no difference, they should be welcomed with love and care.
One day we will all sit ’side by side’ _ ’shoulder to shoulder’ with ALL who have come to know Christ as our personal Savior, at the ‘WEDDING FEAST’ Some will have spent many years in sin, some less, some more………HOWEVER, (one of my favorite words) we will ALL have come to a saving knowledge of our Savior, we will ALL have asked forgiveness, as there is no other way to CHRIST than to believe and repent.
Please keep us up to date on this, as I want to be praying especially during the time your son comes home, and goes to Church with you.
God bless you Andrée
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Andree,
If you are reading this, consider a local Celebrate Recovery. It is the best of AA and the Evangelical church.
http://www.CelebrateRecovery.com
http://www.CelebrateRecoveryBoone.com (my local)
Helped me.
-Dave
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Reg – What particularly do you have against “programs”?
I personally do not believe in having programs just for the sake of having programs.
But many “programs” are inspired by the Holy Spirit, & do help Christians to grow in their faith or others to find Jesus.
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Karen O #5. I’m coming to your church soon. Honest! How will I find you? If I shout, “Hello Karen O, will anyone answer?”
I’ve been away for a while and come back to such a wonderful thread. Nicely stated Victoria #18. And Cheryl D’s church sounds wonderful. This isn’t the WMB I’m used to. I love it!
My wife’s adopted brother has spent his life in prison. He has always hated the church, both adopted parents being pastors, but he is softening.
Andree’s post reminds me of the opening page in Philip Yancey’s book, “What’s So Amazing About Grace?”. Someone invites a prostitute to church and she says, “Why would I go there? I already feel horrible about myself!” That is what started me on my grace journey where I’ve discovered the real Jesus, full of grace and truth. There is little I enjoy more than hearing about churches who act like Christ!
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Xion – I look forward to seeing you. I’ll be a brunette lady with glasses & a crooked smile, with a tall husband (not as tall as you, though) who has a beard & mustache. We’re a very small church, so it won’t be hard at all to find me.
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Andree, My prayers are with your son as he adapts to his new surroundings. I work with inmates at a prison and encourage them to feed their faith when they move on. Often I will contact a church in the community where they will be going. Sometimes they keep in touch; sometimes not. Sometimes they return to work for me again. Then we can start over. Either way they are still God’s children covered by Christ.
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It makes me sad to keep hearing stories that reflect the common reality of the American church. My pastor has often referred to the church as a hospital, not a country club. People that are not well go to a hospital to, hopefully, get better. And we are all “not well” in our own way. Sin has a way of doing that to us. We need to offer relief, not fear and condemnation within the church walls. Since we are the church, it begins with us… God bless your son and you as you keep moving forward.
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Dear Ame,
I am so sorry to hear of your experience. Since coming to America I languished in both large and small churches that had no more fellowship than to say “Hello” after church as everyone rushed to their cars to be first in line the restaurants.
Thankfully I’m now in one where my whole family is welcome, and brave people even invite us for meals and just to spend the day. They are gracious and understanding when I ask that they deadbolt all their doors for my autistic son’s sake. When he runs in and jumps up and down on their beds, they don’t complain.
However, even there a family whose violent son just got out of juvenile detention were shocked when we invited them to dinner, we were the first to do so. Anyway, the young man in question really seemed to enjoy himself and now he talks to me in full sentences. I hope that Andree’s son will find others in the church to be like Aunties and Uncles to him.
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Michelle – How lovely and beautiful you are … may you know the smile of God upon your face today
.
***
Karen O – Programs inspired by the Holy Spirit and which continue to be are beautiful. It’s when the church, or any group of people, use Programs to shuffle people off. For example, almost everywhere I go they want to ask (or direct me into) a Divorce Recovery program of some sort. They are not bad in and of themselves and do accomplish good. However, it becomes an easy way for the church to believe they’re taking care of us simply b/c they have a program. “Here, go to this program. Good. Now we’re taking care of you, so I’m relieved of any futher care of concern for you.” Programs should supplement the Body, not become an excuse to NOT be the Body of Christ.
***
Joanne B – WOW! What an incredible gift to find a church like this! Especially for your son! My youngest daughter has special needs, and I am VERY protective of where I take her. People don’t get it, and want her to be a perfect, little *adult* at age 8 regardless of her special needs. They often want to define “it” as a discipline issue. I am VERY careful to protect her from people like that … she is very sensitive, and those people make her feel *bad*. What a gift you are to welcome this family to dinner.
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AME,
Do keep protecting your daughter from ignorant people like that, but I do pray you’ll find a church or group of believers who are understanding and caring. In a previous church I was glared at everytime my then 5 and 6 year old son didn’t act like a ‘perfect little adult’. (Which was about everytime we went) I was told if I’d just discipline him more… Actually I do discipline him, but only according to his ability to understand. Occasionally I have daydreamed about how easy my life would be if he wasn’t brain-damaged, yet easier is not always better.
I know that if I hadn’t gone through the struggles I have with my son, I would not be so understanding of the young man who got out of Juvenile Detention. I hate to say it, but I probably would have kept a polite distance from his whole family. He’s been out almost a year now, and understands that I love him. I love him because he is made in God’s image. The more you open your heart and home to the ‘difficult’ people, the more love you have to share. The more it reminds you how awesome it is that Jesus Who is holy, loves us!
I’ve heard from our State Disability Support Group that about 80% of families with disabled children leave the church or ‘church hop’ because of lack of support, or even opposition. This has got to change. Those of you reading this who go to church, keep an eye out for people with special needs and say, “I don’t understand how to help, but please tell me, and I’ll be glad to help you and your family in any way I can”.
There are lots of things you can do to help; build a wheelchair ramp. Offer to watch the child in the nursery or even walk the child outside during the service. Take the other non-disabled children with yours on field trips and fun outings. Help feed a quadriplegic while their usual helper eats. Offer to mow their lawns in summer so they have more time to care for their disabled family member. Ask how the child with special needs likes to be approached… The ways to help are numerous, just ask.
As for ex-cons, one thing I do is ask them to help me with projects around the house so they feel needed and useful and trusted. (Plus, I really do appreciate the help). Alot of them have many skills, talents and muscle-power going to waste. If you can, pay them, because jobs can be hard to get for former prisoners. And invite them to church gatherings and talk to them and listen to them, because new christians can bring a refreshing sense of the wonder of Jesus’ salvation.
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>cause God help them if they were to actually, >physically, come into my “space” and have a >conversation with me … or invite my kids to play >with theirs … or invite us to eat a meal with them.
Oh Ame, you have struck a cord in my heart! Or should I say, hit an identical sore spot!
I’ve been divorced (unwillingly, thank you no fault divorce laws) for 7 years now. I have 3 kids ages 8, 12, 14. Dad is happily remarried to the gal he had an affair with, with new family 6 states away. He’s also become an ordained pastor in the meantime!
I just stepped down from leading a women’s small group due to realization of my idolatry over the position and subsequent burn out. What’s worse though, is the fact that since I’m not part of leadership anymore, it doesn’t seem I’m part of the church. No one has called to check on us when we haven’t been there due to flu, etc. which we’ve had a lot this winter…
So we’ve visited a few times at the church where my son is attending (and loving) the youth group. Although, I’m still willing to give it another try, I was disappointed last time (the 4th time) when there was a potluck after the service. We took the open invitation to stay. Unfortunately, not one – not one – person from the church stopped by to say hello and visit with us. From the time the service ended, until we left the building, no one said a word to us. sigh.
A friend has invited us to her house church recently. Perhaps it is time to give it a try…
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“A friend has invited us to her house church recently. Perhaps it is time to give it a try…”
If you do this, let us know more…
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JOANNEB – 80%!!!!!!! OMW!!!!! That really shocks me at first read; but as it sets in, it seems about right. Wow.
***
DARJEELINGIRL – this breaks my heart; it so breaks my heart. You know, if it were just me, then there’d be a problem with me. But it isn’t. There are just too many of us out there.
An ordained minister … ugh. I am so sorry. My ex is an MK and plays church better than the best. He drops the kids off at 9am on Sunday mornings so he can go to his prestigeous church and “fellowship” with his singles group and watch football, without children.
Feel free to stop by my site sometime … there’s a link on the sidebar for single parents you might find interesting, too.
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Ame
You are more than welcome to come to our church in CT. Covenant Prebyterian PCA in Ledyard. We are very small, but a loving Christian family. The problem is that most of us are struggling to ‘find’ the right church / family atmosphere/ environment—when in fact we are commanded to OFFER it to others. If we would all be more concerned with being “an example of the believers” instead of being a “critique of the believers” we would all find more joy and happiness in our walks with God. We go to church to meet with God–and to meet HIm in each other. Our responsibility is to look for Him in each other, and to treat Him in each other, as we will when we can see HIm plainly. If we could just remember that—we will FIND HIM—which is the only thing that brings any of us joy and peace. THEN our focus will not be on what we are getting from the church, but HIM who is the Life of the church. Let’s ask the Lord to make us all better examples of how his body is SUPPOSED to treat each other—the more we do this, the more the mere seekers, will find Him when they visit us….
Joann Longton
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“What’s worse though, is the fact that since I’m not part of leadership anymore, it doesn’t seem I’m part of the church. No one has called to check on us when we haven’t been there due to flu, etc. which we’ve had a lot this winter…”
Ok, I am walking out repentance here – I just found out that there was a glitch in my email and I hadn’t been receiving ANY emails from my church community since December, ironically around the time I stepped down. When I got the email fixed, I downloaded 36 emails – some of which were notes to check up on us. Then tonight I found out that another 5 or 6 from a certain couple were to offer help with the kids and whatnot and have been duly lost in cyberspace from the backlog. It’s been a dark and dreary last couple of months – I’m glad that I cried out to the Lord about it and found out about the glitch. I’m grateful that my deepest fears/accusations were lies and I am sorry that I was quick to believe them and post about it here. When I talked about it tonight with my church family, we learned that the phone is still a useful tool!
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Ame
You are more than welcome to come to our church in CT. Covenant Prebyterian PCA in Ledyard. We are very small, but a loving Christian family. The problem is that most of us are struggling to ‘find’ the right church / family atmosphere/ environment—when in fact we are commanded to OFFER it to others. If we would all be more concerned with being “an example of the believers” instead of being a “critique of the believers” we would all find more joy and happiness in our walks with God. We go to church to meet with God–and to meet HIm in each other. Our responsibility is to look for Him in each other, and to treat Him in each other, as we will when we can see HIm plainly. If we could just remember that—we will FIND HIM—which is the only thing that brings any of us joy and peace. THEN our focus will not be on what we are getting from the church, but HIM who is the Life of the church. Let’s ask the Lord to make us all better examples of how his body is SUPPOSED to treat each other—the more we do this, the more the mere seekers, will find Him when they visit us….
Joann Longton
Joann,
If you could have ended your message after the second sentence, it would have been fine for someone like AME, if she is like me, that is. The rest of what you said feels like a burden when I read it and does not draw me to your church.
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Reg,
To be more clear in the above post from 31 and 33,
Joann Said:
“Ame,
You are more than welcome to come to our church in CT. Covenant Prebyterian PCA in Ledyard. We are very small, but a loving Christian family.”
Joann,
If you could have ended your message after the second sentence, it would have been fine for someone like AME, if she is like me, that is. The rest of what you said feels like a burden when I read it and does not draw me to your church.
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Reg – I’ve read Joann’s comment over 2 or 3 times. What is it that would turn you away?
She is correct that we should seek to find God, & not merely to get our own needs met. And when we do things in God’s way, we find that our needs are met.
A church full of people seeking God, seeking to “find Him in others”, as Joann says, & seeking to be an encouragement to others sounds like a truly wonderful place to be. (Actually, it sounds like my church, too, which is also in Conn.
)
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35-
Sometimes a person who has been deeply hurt doesn’t need/can’t process a big explanation to listen to when an open invitation would be enough. If it were me, I would hear the rest of what was said and try to figure out is she were lecturing me on how I should be or what….it is just too confusing.
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Reg – I imagine that if Joann were to make your acquaintance & invite you to her church in person, she would indeed have stopped after the 2nd sentence. The rest, I think, was her comment for the thread.
I am sorry that you have been hurt, but please don’t expect to find a church that will meet all your expectations – it won’t happen. Each church is made up of imperfect, often awkward, often messed up, even broken, people. Someone with the best of intentions in his/her heart may stumble in his/her words & say something “stupid”.
I don’t know if this would apply to you or not (I hope not), but I have known a couple people who wanted to be understood by others, but did not seek to understand those others. They were never happy & never satisfied. Very sad.
Have you yet found a church in which you feel comfortable or are you still looking?
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I have been settled in a church for nearly three years now. You can relax.
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Karen–
“but please don’t expect to find a church that will meet all your expectations – it won’t happen. Each church is made up of imperfect, often awkward, often messed up, even broken, people. Someone with the best of intentions in his/her heart may stumble in his/her words & say something “stupid”.”
the thing is that I know this and can usually discern the intent of a person, whether they are caring and stumbling for words, OR are judgmental.
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Reg – I’m glad you have a church home. Don’t worry – I’m quite relaxed, thank you.
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