I am copy both your suggestion and Cheryl’s into a notepad file so that I will have these for next Christmas season. Thanks again!

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I was just poking a bit of fun with the deacon issue. Having said that, though, there is another option that you did not mention. I agree, btw, that it makes little sense that the wives of one group be mentioned and not the other (though, there is one possibility: Paul is mentioning some specific problems Timothy was facing in Ephesus; it is possible that there may have been a specific problem with wives of deacons in that church. I don’t think this is the reason, but it is a possibility). The most likely reason for the separate mention of “the women” (imho) is that there was a separate group within the church (obviously composed of all women) who assisted the deacons in their task within the church. There were women in the early church (post NT) who were described as “deaconnesses”, and even Calvin mentions this in The Institutes. However, this was never (by the Early Church or Calvin) considered to be an ordained position within the church (in the same way elders and deacons are), and if memory serves this did not happen until the 19th century. In many (most?) churches, if they have a strong women’s ministry, the women of the church do a great job of assisting the deacons in their duties. But Paul never refers to an ordained office called “deaconnesses” here (or anywhere else), so it’s difficult for me to accept that interpretation. Nevertheless, it is a bit “grayer” than the issue of eldership (with regard to women).

Once again, thanks for the suggestion about poinsettias!!!

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I don’t really care about the women-as-deacons issue, for the record. I once had to edit a book in which someone examined the scriptural evidence and came up with “yes,” and I agreed the evidence was compelling. The strongest piece to me: There’s a description of women in the list of deacons, which could be either “wives of deacons” or “women deacons.” And it simply makes no sense that there would be biblical qualifications for wives of deacons but not for wives of elders. Of course, at least as strong on the other side is that the seven who were called to serve the widows–a ministry specifically to women–were all men. But I’m in the PCA, which doesn’t have women deacons, and I’m happy with that.

If the poinsettias are an issue again next year, here’s an idea: See if someone could find a local nursing home that would gladly have some of your church women bring the plants to residents who don’t get visitors. And yes, I knew you wouldn’t be attempting changes of the sort I’ve seen!

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Cheryl, those were some pretty major changes that you have mentioned. I assure you that I have done nothing that radical, and I’m certainly not trying to “modernize” the worship (which is what that pastor appeared to be trying to do). There are just some old traditions that the church has done without thinking that I thought should be tweaked. To give just an example: at Christmastime in the past, poinsettias were purchased by church members in memory of departed family members (we have quite a few widows in our church). One of the problems which was communicated to me is that the ladies will give the money for the poinsettias, but no one wants to do anything with them once Christmas has come and gone (no one will take them home). So flowers are purchased and the money is wasted (imho). So I recommended this: why not, instead of purchasing poinsettias (which I think is an ugly flower anyway, though I didn’t tell anyone that!), give that same amount of money to a mission fund. That way, the money isn’t being used to buy something that will die in a few days/weeks (indeed, something for the Kingdom!), no one has to clean up/throw away the purchases, and we can still print an “in memory” list for the mission donation instead of the poinsettias.

I thought that sounded reasonable. Nope. Instead, there was a minor resistance to it, the ladies wanted to do it the same old way, except that it was worse than ever before — nobody wanted to take responsibility, so no poinsettias were really purchased, no money collected, no list compiled. Plus, some apparently assumed and started a rumor that I was against flowers (the only stipulation I had insisted upon is that they not be placed front and center upon the communion table). Of course, no one (except for one lady) came to me about this. It was all just assumed.

That’s a small taste. Just one more thing: the Bible does not teach that women can be deacons. Just thought I would through that in at no charge, so you could see how easy a rift could be started.

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Well, I’ve seen both sides at churches, but I tend to resist change for its own sake. Our church just recently jumped from mostly hymns to mostly choruses, for instance. Well, since it’s a church of people who like hymns, I’m scratching my head.

In my late teens I attended a church whose new associate pastor decided our church needed some shaking up. I think we looked a little too much like a church for his taste. We were getting ready to move and voting on names for the new church. (We were named for the road we were on.) Since we were a Baptist church, most (possibly all) of the suggested names for the new church ended with “Baptist Church.” But the leaders came up with the brilliant plan of changing the last two words to “Christian center.” It didn’t fly.

I think one reason it didn’t fly was that in the few months before that the changes were so fast and furious, and seemingly random, that people were leaving the church in large numbers. The conversation if you met others in the parking lot on the way in was, “Wonder what they did this week?” One week we came and the chairs were all in a circle. People protested, so the next week we were in a semi-circle instead. The pulpit was replaced with a lecturn, and then with a “modern” pulpit (glass, I think). The hymnals were discarded. The order of worship was switched backward. And on and on. Literally, each week for months there was some vast change, and people started getting tired of it. The old people left first, then the younger families. I moved farther away (I moved from my mother’s house to live with my sister), and I chose to go to my sister’s church instead of making the drive to a church that was playing games. I was relieved when I heard the associate pastor had been sent to start a church, though the elder who told me expressed with a laugh that it was the best way to get rid of the man.

In another church, the church appointed a committee to study what the Bible says about the church, and made changes accordingly, bringing the congregation on board. They switched from just deacons to elders and deacons, for instance, and allowed women to be deacons (as the Bible seems to allow) but not elders. The changes weren’t done willy-nilly, and the church was excited rather than scared. Somewhere in there they were about to hire a new pastor, so they sent out a questionnaire of what we needed in a pastor, and then discussed it. After that, we hired our first black pastor–the church had been around for 75 years, and had gradually become more and more black–and once again, people were on board, though it was in some ways a major change.

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My husband was actually made president of the congregation. He was put on the board by another pastor they drummed out eventually. He only was put on the board, because no one else wanted the job. He too, ran into a brick wall. Nothing was ever to be changed. We have been gone from that church for years and I know if I walk in tomorrow, it will be the same. I don’t believe in change for it’s own sake, but when ministry is not being done or people are not growing, it is sin.

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Karen O. Most times, things like that happen when someone’s feelings are hurt, not the pro’s-&-cons of the differences. Sounds like your husband has it worked out, but if not, it will eventually hurt him more than anyone else.

Someone just sent me a beautiful e-mail with attachments. One of the sayings was:
Opportunity may only knock once, but,
Temptation bangs on your door forever.

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