Comments on: Friday poem http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/ A forum for discussion of news that arises at the intersection of Christianity and culture. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:12:29 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Thomas http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-295080 Thomas Tue, 22 Apr 2008 15:16:11 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-295080 SG I noticed it was a sonnet as well, but not as much of the internal rhyme. Nice analysis! :) SG

I noticed it was a sonnet as well, but not as much of the internal rhyme. Nice analysis! :)

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]]> By: Serious George http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294587 Serious George Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:38:42 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294587 Good grief, Llama. This isn't prose. It's a sonnet -- 14 lines organized both by scheme and meaning. Follow the sense. It's a mixture of Petrarchian and English forms -- with an octet for the initial thought or dilemma, a sestet shifting direction and a couplet broken out of the sestet at the end for resolution. If you're looking for rhyme, this poem has plenty of it. Look at the first octet line endings: A-blank-A-blank-B-blank-B-blank, with internal rhymes holding some of the "blank" lines together ("inched in ... squid ink" "stare buried"). The next sestet is less regular in its rhyme, and as a result picks up pace, but there's rhyme if you listen: "in the corpse's core ... in the stiff chest's door" or "battered shape ... shatters at birth." If you want express how little you like this poem, you're welcome to explain why. But the notion that's it's not a poem because you say it's not? That pig still doesn't fly {:~) Good grief, Llama. This isn’t prose. It’s a sonnet — 14 lines organized both by scheme and meaning. Follow the sense. It’s a mixture of Petrarchian and English forms — with an octet for the initial thought or dilemma, a sestet shifting direction and a couplet broken out of the sestet at the end for resolution.

If you’re looking for rhyme, this poem has plenty of it. Look at the first octet line endings: A-blank-A-blank-B-blank-B-blank, with internal rhymes holding some of the “blank” lines together (”inched in … squid ink” “stare buried”).

The next sestet is less regular in its rhyme, and as a result picks up pace, but there’s rhyme if you listen: “in the corpse’s core … in the stiff chest’s door” or “battered shape … shatters at birth.”

If you want express how little you like this poem, you’re welcome to explain why. But the notion that’s it’s not a poem because you say it’s not? That pig still doesn’t fly {:~)

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]]> By: llama http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294582 llama Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:01:28 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294582 Special es, this mumbo jumbo has a purpose surely Yes it lets us know how bad poetry posing as prose has become. Sadly, there are those who think it is the cat's meow They be very very wrong in their haste to anoint mediocrity something it is not. Special

es, this mumbo
jumbo has
a purpose
surely

Yes it lets
us know how
bad poetry posing
as prose
has become.

Sadly, there
are those who
think it is
the cat’s meow

They be very
very wrong in
their haste to
anoint mediocrity
something it is not.

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]]> By: Thomas http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294144 Thomas Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:24:32 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294144 Kimberly @ #5, I would say no, it doesn't demean Christ. It seems to me to take place in those few nano-seconds from just before to just after the Resurrection. The impact of the first beating of the resurrected heart is all the greater compared to the emptiness just before. Kimberly @ #5,

I would say no, it doesn’t demean Christ. It seems to me to take place in those few nano-seconds from just before to just after the Resurrection.

The impact of the first beating of the resurrected heart is all the greater compared to the emptiness just before.

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]]> By: VS http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294059 VS Fri, 18 Apr 2008 18:01:26 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294059 WOW! That was exactly my initial reaction and my secondary reaction. And yes, he did experience that loneliness, the feeling of being forgotten and forsaken! "Now it’s your limbs he comes to fill, as warm water shatters at birth, rivering every way." And to that...Hallelujah! WOW! That was exactly my initial reaction and my secondary reaction.

And yes, he did experience that loneliness, the feeling of being forgotten and forsaken!

“Now

it’s your limbs he comes to fill, as warm water
shatters at birth, rivering every way.”

And to that…Hallelujah!

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]]> By: kimberly http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294055 kimberly Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:48:25 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294055 Loved these lines too ... In the corpse’s core, the stone fist of his heart began to bang on the stiff chest’s door, and breath spilled back into that battered shape. Now I still can't see the disciples' thing though ... as the whole poem seems to be written from a single perspective (that of Christ). But still--it's a beautiful, tightly-written poem. Who is this author? I've never heard of her. Loved these lines too … In the corpse’s core, the stone fist
of his heart began to bang
on the stiff chest’s door, and breath spilled
back into that battered shape. Now

I still can’t see the disciples’ thing though … as the whole poem seems to be written from a single perspective (that of Christ). But still–it’s a beautiful, tightly-written poem.

Who is this author? I’ve never heard of her.

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]]> By: mumsee http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294041 mumsee Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:30:42 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294041 I've come back again, and upon rereading in trying to find the answer to Kimberly's question, a thrill is running through me and tears running down my face as I think with Peter L: He died and rose again for me! He went through that torment, experienced that loneliness I deserve, and set me free to be His child. Wow. I’ve come back again, and upon rereading in trying to find the answer to Kimberly’s question, a thrill is running through me and tears running down my face as I think with Peter L: He died and rose again for me! He went through that torment, experienced that loneliness I deserve, and set me free to be His child. Wow.

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]]> By: kimberly http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294034 kimberly Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:22:11 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294034 Loved the last few lines .... as for the others, is it just me or does the whole "lonely corpse" feel rather demean Jesus, whose divinity shone brighter affter the ressurection? Loved the last few lines …. as for the others, is it just me or does the whole “lonely corpse” feel rather demean Jesus, whose divinity shone brighter affter the ressurection?

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]]> By: Peter L http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294033 Peter L Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:19:34 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294033 I first thought “what?”, but further reading tells me that this mumbo-jumbo has a purpose. I think of the crucification of Christ, based on the title, and the confusion the apostles experienced when their Master was killed. Then think of the joy when he appeared to them after rising from the dead. At that point, the poem loses it syntactic randomness (like the opening lines), and the final message is clear- He died and rose again for me! I first thought “what?”, but further reading tells me that this mumbo-jumbo has a purpose. I think of the crucification of Christ, based on the title, and the confusion the apostles experienced when their Master was killed. Then think of the joy when he appeared to them after rising from the dead. At that point, the poem loses it syntactic randomness (like the opening lines), and the final message is clear- He died and rose again for me!

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]]> By: mumsee http://online.worldmag.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/comment-page-1/#comment-294024 mumsee Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:07:01 +0000 http://www.worldontheweb.com/2008/04/18/friday-poem-33/#comment-294024 mommy, That is what I said when I first skimmed it. Refused to read it. Then I thought I had better come back and give it another try so Harrison would not be hurt. I said it again but then I started thinking there was more to it, went back again, and there was. At least there was for me today. Thanks Harrison, that will stick with me for a while. mommy,

That is what I said when I first skimmed it. Refused to read it. Then I thought I had better come back and give it another try so Harrison would not be hurt. I said it again but then I started thinking there was more to it, went back again, and there was. At least there was for me today. Thanks Harrison, that will stick with me for a while.

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