The topic is ‘proms’ it isn’t whether or not kids can taste wine at home with their parents.

I covered what I believe and why in post #29.

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That is the law in California and many other states. However it does not pertain to children who are offered a small amount AT HOME given to them BY THEIR PARENTS, that is acceptable, no one was arguing that point here.

In the state of California, a child may not be given alcohol outside their own home. A parent cannot offer an alcoholic beverage to anyone’s child but their OWN, within their home or anywhere else. If anyone offers an individual, (other than their child) under the age of 21 an alcoholic beverage they are committing a crime in the state of California, whether it’s in THEIR HOME, or elsewhere.

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Victoria,
This statement came up on another thread recently, and a few of us looked up some info regarding various state laws and found that, in fact, most states do not prohibit young people under 21 from drinking under the supervision of their own parents.

I agree with Frank that it is parents’ responisibity to teach their children about drinking. Some parents do think it is best to abstain from all alcoholic beverages and will of course teach their children that also (though it will certainly be more effective if they clearly explain how alcohol as a beverage differs today from in Bible times rather than simply labelling it as sin). Others, like my husband and I and many others, including Frank apparently, believe that drinking in moderation is perfectly acceptable, and that young people who learn to drink responsibly will be less likely to yearn to try the “forbidden fruit” when they have already tasted it. It’s an acquired taste, and kids often don’t even like it if they’re allowed a sip.

That’s fair from a “lackadaisical” approach to teen drinking. I can teach my son moderation in drinking (though in fact he plans to be a lifelong teetotaller) while at the same time warning him of the dangers of irresponsible drinking.

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The High Schools in our area have some of the highest academic records in the US, not only that, they have the SAFEST school campus’s. This record speaks for itself.

Some parents become confused, proms aren’t weddings, nor should they be confused with a wedding in which two people say their vows, planning an entire life together.

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I’m in favor of rules. I’m not in favor of those who hide behind them. Typically, bureaucrats will hide behind the rules in order to avoid responsibility or criticism. Institutions hide behind rules and policies in order to avoid criticism or law suits.

When a principle, teacher, police officer, public official makes a judgment call, that official can be held responsible for the decisions they make. But a “rule” can’t be sued. And so we hear the mantra, “Sorry I’d like to help you but the rules are the rules.”

The fact is, we can’t make enough rules to fit every situation in life. And even if we could, we could never remember them all. A better course would be to seek wisdom and apply wisdom and judgment to various situations in life.

And in a free society, we ought to encourage each other to make wise decisions and to take personal responsibility for them. And as a free society, we must constantly decide whether we want leaders who play it safe and hide behind “the rules” or leaders who share those qualities we appreciate in a leader: vision, daring, savvy, persistence, courage, and a willingness to make and defend good decisions.

We need people who will be willing to bend or break the rules when wisdom and good judgment dictate it and be willing to unashamedly defend that decision among peers, and those whom they serve.

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Not only are High School proms FOR High School students (a generic statement), but THAT particular High School prom was for THAT particular high school student. In other words, every high school individual has but one and only one senior prom.

That night was HER special night. And she chose HER escort, a military man in uniform. In my experience, young men and women put almost as much effort into prom attendance as they do a wedding ceremony. A young woman’s escort will be her very special choice. Her dress will be also be chosen with the utmost care for style and elegance. She anticipates a night of romance and special attention from a man.

Her escort will arrive a the house in a limo, wearing a tux (if she’s lucky. A young man’s prom may be the first time he put on a tux.) They will drive to the prom in style. They will dance, talk, laugh and have fun and at the end of the night, her escort will dance that special slow dance of the evening. Perhaps afterward the couple will get a little dinner and her escort will return her to her parents with her honor in tact.

She has only one chance to get this right and if it were up to her, it would go right. But it isn’t strictly up to her. A perfect romantic night depends on two people, she and her escort. And so the choice of escort is very important. She needs someone of maturity that won’t mess things up.

And she doesn’t need a school official to give her escort permission to attend, only to ask him to leave after 30 minutes, especially before the final dance.

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High School proms, and parties are just that, they are for High School students. Some parents don’t care, but the vast majority of us DO CARE, and those who are 21 and over are not included within H.S dances.

Many schools will NOT ALLOW anyone who is not either an 11th grade or Senior attend Proms, and more IMPORTANT they must be attending the school in which the prom is for. It is much easier to control a party when the teachers, etc, KNOW who the kids are. These are safeguards which are put in place due to the problems we face as parents of teens.

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“Victoria (29): And we wonder why drinking, etc, has become such a problem in our High Schools? Young teens look up to older ‘kids’ or adults, many think its very sophisticated to drink.”

Frank: Which speaks to the sorry way parents are teaching their kids about drink today: Either not at all, or from fearful prohibitionism. “Deeeeeee-mon RUM! Lips that touch wine shall never touch mine!!”

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Frank,

Kids are not allowed by LAW to drink under the age of 21 in MOST states.

Since your leanings are Libertarian, I’m not surprised at YOUR lackadaisical approach to teens drinking, or ‘trying’ to blame their inability to drink sensibility on their parents.

Un-twisting your ideas of who is teaching whom, and who is reponsbile might help. There are millions of parents who care deeply about their children, are are doing all they can to teach them what is right, and what will hurt them.

High Schools have rules, and those rules are there for a reason, they aren’t there so that those of you who believe you can make your own rules (Libertarian) or break them at will are going to get away with it. The young girl found out very quickly that the rules were made for her, just as they were made for every other student in her school.

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