Public apple, private apple
Yesterday, I posted on the provinciality of New Yorkers, most of whom hail from the provinces anyway. In my accidental and ongoing series about New York, then, is this piece by Joan Acocella, where she wonders why New Yorkers seem so rude. Here’s a good hypothesis: the rest of America spends more time in private, and so we’re ready and rested to put smiles on for the rest of the world when we go outside. New Yorkers, however, have less domestic space to be alone, and so:
[T]hey make less separation between private and public life. That is, they act on the street as they do in private. In the United States today, public behavior is ruled by a kind of compulsory cheer that people probably picked up from television and advertising and that coats their transactions in a smooth, shiny glaze, making them seem empty-headed. New Yorkers have not yet gotten the knack of this. That may be because so many of them grew up outside the United States, and also because they live so much of their lives in public, eating their lunches in parks, riding to work in subways. It’s hard to keep up the smiley face for that many hours a day.
If you’re going to the city anytime soon, or if you live there, read the rest, which suggests why New Yorkers act the way they do, and why they seem smarter than everyone else.



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back to top17 Comments to “Public apple, private apple”
No. They are just naturally jerks and egomaniacs.
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My ex-employers started hiring a lot of people from “somewhere else”; New York, California, France, thinking that, as “everyone knows” people from these place are smarter than the locals. They soon learned that maybe being in one of these places means you’re smarter (more competitive market)but being from there often means the opposite.
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My first Manhatten experience: I was riding in a car driven by a friend who knew Manhattan better than I did but still not very well. We signaled a cab driver to roll down his window so she could ask directions.
The cabbie gave us detailed directions and then, at the next light, flagged us down to tell us that he had made one mistake, and told us to turn left instead of right at one intersection coming up.
I have been back several times. Most New Yorkers I’ve encountered have not been all that rude.
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It is interesting that those here, who purport to highly value things like hard work, the accumulation of wealth, and the competitive market claim to despise the most successful practitioners of such values.
Historically NYC has been the place for those who want to be the best at almost anything go, in order pit themselves against the best. From Wall Street to Seventh Avenue, to Madison Avenue and even to Yankee Stadium, New Yorkers are virtually self-selected for hard work, ambition and aggressiveness. The city is the very symbol of capitalism in this country.
And it is true that those who can “make it there” can likely “make it anywhere”.
But such success does seem frequently to engender quite a bit of resentment, especially from those who have difficulty practicing what they preach.
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#1: have you been to New York? I live here, and while there are people who are rude, there are plenty more who are not. In any small town, you have the cantankerous people — multiply that to equal the population of Manhattan, and you probably have the same number of rude people.
Case in point, I’ve been interacting with a lot of journalists and those in the media industry, as well as some upper crust-folk in the past two weeks as part of a course, not one have been rude or pushy or egotistical. They’ve been warm, friendly, and very open to my questions and seeking advice.
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What is considered “rude” depends on where you live. When I lived in PA/NJ on the Route 1 corridor, stores were crowded and people were in a hurry. Chatting with the checkout clerk was annoying to everyone behind you in line, as they felt it held up the line. When my husband called me at work, he would very efficiently say nothing but “extension 121″ so the operator could take care of his call and go on to the next one.
When we moved to relatively rural areas in the midwest, we found things very different. Chatting with the clerk in the store is the norm (of course part of that is that in a smaller community so many people know each other and each other’s families). Same at work – our receptionist considered my husband rude for not taking extra time to greet her when he called to talk to me. She was used to knowing everyone’s family and asking about the kids, and callers knowing her and her family as well.
In Madrid, people seemed rude to us Americans, pushing to the front instead of standing in an orderly line, bumping into people on the sidewalk and not apologizing – but I would guess that to each other that was just normal behavior and not considered particularly rude.
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I grew up in NY and when moving to Pennsylvania, found people to be colder and less friendly. I think most New Yorkers are very open and not rude. Maybe visitors don’t like their fearlessnes and familiarity.
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I’ve been to NY several times. The first cab ride I ever took was hair raising! I thought, “Where’s the fire?” I’ve also never walked so much in my entire life! But what a city! There’s no place like it!
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My husband works with people from all over the country and so far his most unpleasant experience was working with a crew from New York. They talked to and about the local crew like dogs, they complained about every little thing and they totally trashed the production truck. He was not impressed with their work ethic either.
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Have-a-nice-day is the state motto of CA. If rudeness is–as Pauline says–a matter of where you live I think I’d be a very poor judge of it.
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I think we might be confusing “rude” with “blunt” or “edgy”. They’re not necessarily the same thing.
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Ask people who give answers over the phone about whether New Yorkers have earned a reputation for rudeness. My friend who answers questions about Epson printers thinks they are really special. (Really, they think they are special.)
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#4 ARCADIA,
I can see that you have never ever lived and worked in New York. Yeah, I know that the left thinks that New York is the cats meow but it is not. New York suffers the same fate as the largest most succesful city of any major country. They make more money because they have to pay more for their horrible, if expensive, lifestyles. They ar eovercompensated for little thought or work. They naturally think they are better than everyone else as a result, can prove it if you ask them, and it shows even to blind, deaf and dumb people. They are no worse than Londoners, Moscovites (who are the worst) Parisians etc.
They are also mostly lefties so they are, liars, cannot be trusted, will steal you blind and are insnae too.
You need to get out and see the real world.
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Arcadia wrote: “It is interesting that those here, who purport to highly value things like hard work, the accumulation of wealth, and the competitive market claim to despise the most successful practitioners of such values.
When have the Christians here said that they highly value the accumulation of wealth? I think we all know that coffins have no pockets.
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llama: In point of fact, I grew up near, occasionally lived in, and worked in The City. It’s a long way from the hills of Appalachia where I now live, and enjoy much more, not for the people, whom I find generally not as well educated and almost universally not as wealthy, but because I am but a couple of minutes from fields, mountains and streams.
I guess you attribute the massive overpayment of executive New Yorkers to some catastrophic failure of capitalism? All those boards and compensation committees and shareholders and stockpickers are just dumb? Do you really think that any old bohunk country boy can rape, pillage and step over bodies quickly enough to keep the Exxons and Lockheeds going?
As for New Yorkers being untrustworthy liars, my guess is that more business is done or a handshake every day in New York than in most entire states of this union.
NJL: I do agree that most here have not explicitly done so. However I do think that more than a few find it convenient to preach economic selflessness while enthusiastically dancing to the tune of tax cutting, government assistance slashing, Republicans.
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Arcadia,
YOU WRITE:…
“NJL, I do agree that most here have not explicitly done so. However I do think that more than a few find it convenient to preach economic selflessness while enthusiastically dancing to the tune of tax cutting, government assistance slashing, Republicans.”
Arcadia, get past “most here” and lets see who are the “more than a few” who you don’t name, but make mention of by their absent names, post numbers and thread names.
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#6 — my experience in eastern Europe is similar. Canadians demand double the personal space of most Americans, we also demand that the volume of one’s voice be as low and monotone as possible. Eastern Europe was a constant migraine for my Canadian sensibilities.
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