Fully known
I was recently reminded that the English word person has its origin in the Greek word persona, which was the name given to large masks Greek actors used to wear on stage. How fitting that this is what we call ourselves. In a related moment of epiphany, I recently read a pastor’s account of attending a James Taylor concert. She said that in between songs, someone shouted: “I love you, James!” There was laughter, but then Taylor stepped to the microphone and said: “That’s because you don’t know me.”
And this is one of the reasons why we are these clipped personae calling ourselves persons, because each of us wants to be loved, yet many of us believe that we are, in our truest selves, not all that lovable. Years ago I gave up writing for a time, and when I announced it, my wife was saddest of all. (Let’s be honest; she was probably the only person who was sad about it.) She told me that reading my words helped her see into my heart, a view that I didn’t often afford her.
We’ve labored down a long path together since then, and I like to think that I reveal more of myself to her now than I used to. Still, it’s hard for me, having grown up in fear of being vulnerable, to talk to anyone. With this in mind a friend recently suggested that I read what I write to her. He thought it might draw us closer, what with the intimacy of my voice speaking to her the words I only dare offer up because I don’t have to look any of you in the eye when I write them.
I protested that these words aren’t who I really am. I don’t write out the black-hearted parts of me, at least not in non-fiction. I’m much worse, I told him, than what anyone sees of me.
“I know,” he said. “But so is everyone.”
Most of us are personae at least some of the time, and many of the people who believe otherwise are personae to themselves. We hide who we are because we see who we are, and because everyone else is hiding himself. So we can fall into the trap of thinking we are worse than most — less organized, more resentful, more covetous, more easily discouraged.
I suppose the truth is that most of us aren’t any worse than anyone else, but let’s face it: that isn’t saying much. When I think about who I really am — who we really are — I am overwhelmed by God’s word breathed through the lungs of Paul, that we will know just as we have been fully known. We have our personae with one another, but every one of God’s children is fully known, and loved. We are personae with ourselves, seeing in a mirror dimly, but in that day of final homecoming we will be face to face, with ourselves as we were intended to be, and with a loving God who has offered up His life for us in full knowledge of who we are.
It’s a revolutionary idea, if you’ll let it be. It can change how you view yourself, how you view others, how you view God. No matter how low you have fallen, child of God, you are loved in full knowledge of what you are. No matter how lowly you think someone else is, how then can you deny him love, knowing that the perfect God knows him more fully than you, and loves him unto death? And finally, while bad preaching and bad theology can render God a distant, dispassionate entity, how comforting is it to learn that He knows us fully, and that in time He will make himself fully known to us, face to face, as father with child?
The world expects us to wear an acceptable mask, but we know that God sees us as we are. I like to hope, in my better moments, that knowing this will give me the courage to set my mask aside from time to time, if only for a while. Maybe we all can.




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back to top3 Comments to “Fully known”
Once again, a very well written piece Tony…thank you. I could not help but think of the Adam and Eve in the Garden as you described the persona we all hide behind. Once they were opened to sin, they could no longer bear the shame of their nakedness; in other words, they needed a mask to hide themselves from God and most probably each other.
I suppose we are still living with this shame and guilt today and wonder if it may even be magnified; at least, in our own eyes. We try to posture in various ways, cover our blemishes with clothing and make-up, and even spend ourselves into unrecoverable debt to give the impression of being truly good and worthy people. But, nothing of this world ever works.
I think C.S. Lewis describes it best when he states that God will expose you of your sin and take it away, but it will be a very painful process. He won’t necessary wash you on the outside, but will penetrate to your soul and clean you from the inside out. When that occurs, then we can set our masks aside and show people who we are, who we are meant to be. Because at that point, Christ stands in our place.
As a final note, thank God for wives who know us better than we know ourselves and still love us anyway.
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‘We hide who we are because we see who we are, and because everyone else is hiding himself.’
I’m not sure this is completely thought out Tony. I think we may hide who we are mainly because we do not want anyone else to know or even suspect anything might be wrong with us – especially things we ourselves suspect or know to be wrong with us. Sadly, this is pride and ego all mixed up in our little brains, a brain that fears even our own small shadow.
Otherwise, if we didn’t care what others thought about us or we thought ourselves to be A-OK, we usually would have nothing to hide under the mask.
But, people can also be private and they will not tell you anything about themselves even though there is nothing to hide. It is just none of your business or they do not want to be ‘vulnerable.’
My mother always believed that to have a good friend and a good relationship, you both have to be vulnerable to each other, knowing you could discuss anything but it stayed private between the two of you when necessary.
She always said if need a good friend pick one you would like to have and tell them the worst thing about yourself. If they tell you the worst thing about themselves then you have made a good friend if you never hear about it again from anyone else. A pretty tall order most always she claimed – but worth it. Good friends are hard to find and people have so few of them for all kinds of wrong reasons.
The thinner the mask, the happier the face is underneath.
I saw the movie ‘Harvey’ again last night with James Stewart and I am reminded of the original ‘Elwood’ who never met a person he didn’t like or call a friend and they felt the same about him.
Elwood was the nicest guy around and never hid anything from anyone including the fact that he had a 6′3″ imaginary Rabbit friend named Harvey. But, normal people thought Elwood was crazy but it turned out the ‘normal people’ were way more crazy than Elwood or his friend Harvey.
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What a thoughtful, sensitive article, Tony. Thank you! We all need to examine ourselves to see how much of our persona is pride, how much is fear, how much is “training”.
Please find a way to share with your wife and show her the inside of your heart! And let her know you appreciate it when she shares hers.
There’s another side to the coin — that some of us would like to show others our hearts. We would be willing to reveal our weaknesses, fears, and faults. (And our joys and hopes and genuinely unselfish accomplishments. But others are so frozen into their masks that they aren’t comfortable with us showing who we are. It “just isn’t done in today’s society”, you know! Where do we find people who will accept us as ourselves? And who will let us accept them as themselves even if we happen to see some things behind the masks?
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