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Something Light: Best-ever movie lines
There is a movie my husband and I have seen at least 30 times: Tombstone. I’m not sure why we like it so much — it’s definitely not the best movie ever made. Still, we can nearly quote the whole script, saying what Doc Holliday, Wyatt Earp, Johnny Ringo, and Curly Bill Brocious say before they say it (again.)
I suspect it’s Val Kilmer’s Doc Holliday who makes the film. Also, the script features some of the best movie lines ever, many of them for Doc.
Example: Near a wooded creek, after a vicious gunfight in which Earp (Kurt Russell) kills head bad guy Curly Bill, a minor character asks Doc why he’s involved at all in hunting down the notorious gang, the Cowboys, who murdered Earp’s younger brother.
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Why you doin’ this, Doc?
Holliday: ‘Cause Wyatt Earp is my friend.
Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Friend?…I got lots of friends.
Holliday: I don’t.
What are some of your favorite movie lines ever? (Remember to give us context!)
back to top77 Comments to “Something Light: Best-ever movie lines”
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Butch and Sundance are being chased by the posse and there is only one way out, to jump off a cliff into a river.
Sundance: I can’t swim.
Cassidy: Swim hell, the fall will kill you.
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Other People’s Money, with Penelope Ann Miller and Danny Devito, who’s always eating doughnuts.
DD: Care for a doughnut?
PAM: No thanks, I’m not hungry.
DD: What’s being hungry got to do with eating a doughnut? It doesn’t make it taste better.
PAM: How would you know?
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My very fav line of all time is from Mary Poppins ~ when Mr. Banks is disturbed by all the “unseemly” happiness around the house since Poppins’ arrival ~ Mrs. Banks and the children attempt to cheer him up with the Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious song, Banks insists:
I’d like to make one thing quite clear ~ I am in a perfectly equitable mood ~ I do not require being made to cheer up!
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The equivalent of Tombstone for me would be The Princess Bride. One of my favorite lines (and oddly, the one I quote the most) is the Man in Black’s response to Buttercup in this exchange:
Man in Black: “That’s hardly complimentary, highness. Why loose your venom on me?:
Buttercup: “You killed my true love.”
Man in Black: “It’s possible. I kill a lot of people. One can’t afford to make exceptions. Once the word goes out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you and it’s nothing but work, work, all the time!”
My all time favorite movie line, though comes from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command. Evil Emperor Zurg stole the Uni-mind that links the Little Green Men (LGM’s) minds, and as a result, they’re acting a bit…strange.
[while repairing a robot]
LGM 1 [to Buzz]: “What is…this?” [holding up a robotic arm]
Buzz: “An arm.”
LGM 2 [to LGM 1]: “Told ya.”
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Can I add a TV line?
Batman & Robin were trying to solve a problem, when Batman remembered something from the 7th dynasty of some pharoah, which appleid to this case.
Robin says, “Holy encyclopedias Batman! Is there anything you don’t know?”
Batman with his most humble look, answers,
“Of course Robin, in face, several things”.
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#4 YES!! We’ve got Princess Bride almost memorized, too.
Wesley (the hero) is recovering from being “mostly dead”, and is trying to intimidate (and thus postpone actually fighting) the evil prince Humperdink while he recovers his strength. One of the lines in the exchange is, “It’s possible…pig.”
We just can’t seem to say “It’s possible” without tacking on the “pig” part.
(You really have to hear the delivery to appreciate it properly!)
Another great quote is from Cars. ‘Mater (a beat-up old tow truck) is supposed to be guarding Lightning McQueen, a hot-shot racing car who sped through a quiet town. The sheriff arrives to find ‘Mater chatting it up with Lightning, who is trying to talk his way out of trouble. The sheriff asks, “What did I tell you about talking to the prisoners?” ‘Mater responds with perfect red-neck delivery, “To not to.” I LOL every time. You just gotta love ‘Mater.
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This is a really hard task, because many of my favorite lines come from Pulp Fiction, and just about all of those are inappropriate for this blog. There is this one exchange I love which is pretty tame. The whole reason I love this movie is the casual dialog that takes place in the most tense situations. In this scene, two hitmen are sitting at breakfast, after just killing some people.
Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: No man, I don’t eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: Nah, I ain’t Jewish, I just don’t dig on swine, that’s all.
Vincent: Why not?
Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don’t eat filthy animals.
Vincent: Yeah, but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’d never know ’cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy **rodent**. Pigs sleep and root in **feces**. That’s a filthy animal. I ain’t eatin’ nothing that ain’t got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
Vincent: How about a dog? Dog eats its own feces.
Jules: I don’t eat dog either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn’t go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they’re definitely dirty. A dog’s got personality. Personality goes a long way.
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Another of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally. The movie is about relationships, specifically when friendship turns into love. In this classic exchange, Harry explains his theory on male-female friendships:
Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I’m saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them too.
Sally: What if they don’t want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
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City Slickers:
Curly have you killed anybody yet today?
Curly answers:
The day is still early yet.
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“Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir. And I NEVER slice.”
“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”
“The quarterback is toast!”
“H.I., you’re young and you got your health, what you want with a job?”
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I’m surprised no one has yet mentioned Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It would be difficult to pick just one exchange, but here is one of my favorites (since Lynn used a reference to the political peasant scene in a Whirled Views months ago).
King Arthur: Can we come up and have a look?
French Soldier: Of course not. You’re English types.
King Arthur: What are you then?
French Soldier: I’m French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?
Sir Galahad: What are you doing in England?
French Soldier: Mind your own business.
Slightly later…
French Soldier: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I [flatulate] in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
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True Grit, Marshall Rooster Cogburn (John Wayne) sits on his horse across an open field from Ned Pepper (Robert Duvall) and three others of his gang.
Pepper: What do you aim to do, Rooster?
Cogburn: I aim to kill you, Ned Pepper. Or see you hang in Fort Smith at Judge Parker’s convenience. Which’ll it be?
Pepper: I’d call that pretty bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.
Cogburn (with indignant look): Fill your hands, you son of a…
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Some random quotes:
From Annie Hall:
Alvy Singer: I don’t use any major hallucinogenics…Five years ago at a party, I tried to take my pants off over my head.
From Caddyshack. He’s telling a story about when he caddied for the Dalai Lama and didn’t get a tip:
Carl Spackler: So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.”
So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
I’m not going to bother with context for this quote from Casablanca, ‘casue you should be ashamed if you haven’t seen it
Rick: Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You’re part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We’ll always have Paris.
From Say Anything, after a breakup:
Lloyd Dobler: She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.
From High Fidelity, as Rob gives insight to the power of music:
Rob: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
From Sideways:
Miles: I feel like a thumbprint on the skyscraper of life.
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When I was in the Air Force at Westover AFB. The base theatre always had a terrible “B” movie on Tuesdays; don’t know why. Once, a “Bombi”, jungle movie had them passing the same spot four times in a chase scene.
But this was from an unremembered western. I only remember one scene.
The good guy captured a bad guy, but had to leave for something. He gave the girl his gun and told her to watch this guy.
When the good guy returned, he found the bad guy had the gun pointing at him. The good guy looked at the girl.
She said, “He tricked me”.
That was worth the price of admission.
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Jerry: “You…complete me.”
Dorothy: “Shut up – you had me at hello.”
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Tombstone is one of my favs.
1. “You gunna do somethin, or just stand there and bleed?”
2. “Yes, it’s true you are a good woman. But then again, you may be the anti-Christ.”
And Spaceballs is too. This line is almost as good as the “who’s on first?” bit.
“When does this happen in the movie?”
“Now. You’re looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now. Is happening now, sir.”
“What happened to then?”
“We past then.”
“When?”
“Just now!”
“We’re at now, now.”
“Go back to then.”
“When?”
“When?”
“Now?”
“I can’t!”
“Why?”
“We missed it.”
“When?”
“JUST now.”
“When will then be now?”
“Soon…”
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“He’s young and stupid.”
The Good Earth 1937
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I need a good laugh today – these are great!
One of my favorite movie lines is from “Sleeping With the Enemy” with Julia Roberts. After suffering abuse at the hands of her husband, and leaving him, he catches up to her. After a struggle, she gets her gun, picks up the phone and says to the 911 operator, “Come quickly, I’ve just killed an intruder.” And she says the line while looking him in the eyeballs. I love it! As a viewer, you have no sympathy for her husband, and it’s the only fitting ending to the movie.
I’m sure I will come up with others during the rest of the day…
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Robert the Bruce: “Lands, titles, men, power – nothing.”
Robert’s Father: “Nothing?”
Robert the Bruce: “I have nothing. Men fight for me because if they do not, I throw them off my land and I starve their wives and their children. Those men who bled the ground red at Falkirk, they fought for William Wallace, and he fights for something that I never had. And I took it from him, when I betrayed him. I saw it in his face on the battlefield and it’s tearing me apart.”
Robert’s Father: “All men betray. All lose heart.”
Robert the Bruce: “I don’t wanna lose heart. I wanna believe as he does.”
__________________________________________________
Murron: “You’re going to teach me to read, then?”
William Wallace: “Aye, if you’d like.”
Murron: “Aye!”
William Wallace: “In what language?”
Murron: “Ah, you’re showing off now.”
William Wallace: “That’s right. Are you impressed yet?”
Murron: “No. Why? Should I be?”
William Wallace: “Oui. Parce que chaque jour j’ai pensé à toi.”
[Yes. Because every single day I thought about you.]
Murron: “Do that standing on your head and I’ll be impressed.”
William Wallace: “Well, my kilt will fly up, but I’ll try.”
_________________________________________________
William Wallace: “And if this is your army, why does it go?”
Veteran: “We didn’t come here to fight for them!”
Young Soldier: “Home! The English are too many!”
William Wallace: “Sons of Scotland! I am William Wallace.”
Young Soldier: “William Wallace is seven feet tall!”
William Wallace: “Yes, I’ve heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he’d consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.”
[Scottish army laughs]
William Wallace: “I am William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of tyranny. You’ve come to fight as free men…and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?”
Veteran: “Fight? Against that? No! We will run. And we will live.”
William Wallace: “Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take…OUR FREEDOM!”
__________________________________________________
Robert the Bruce: “I’m not a coward. I want what you want, but we need the nobles.”
William Wallace: “We need them?”
Robert the Bruce: “Aye.”
William Wallace: “Nobles.” [laughs a little]
William Wallace: “Now tell me, what does that mean to be noble? Your title gives you claim to the throne of our country, but men don’t follow titles, they follow courage. Now our people know you. Noble, and common, they respect you. And if you would just lead them to freedom, they’d follow you. And so would I.”
__________________________________________________
William Wallace: “We all end up dead, it’s just a question of how and why.”
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Top Gun! Maverick (Tom Cruise) just asked the female instructor Charlie (Kelly McGillis) on a date. She gives him her address on a piece of paper, but verbally pretends to turn him down. Slider (Rick Rossovich), a rival pilot, taunts him:
Slider: Crashed and burned! Huh, Mav?
Maverick: Hey, Slider.
[sniffs]
Maverick: You stink!
Also, from Serenity (the movie continuation of Joss Wheedon’s canceled Firefly TV series)… The crew is arguing over what to do about some fugitive passengers and things get heated… Capt. Malcolm (Mal) Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) says to Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin), the burly mercenary:
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Do you want to run this ship?
Jayne Cobb: Yes!
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [caught off guard] Well… you can’t…
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I don’t remember the dialogue but
Monty Python — Holy Grail – peasant scene and knight battle scene
Monty Python — Meaning of Life — Every Sperm is sacred song, the machine that goes Ding in the birthing scene, and the final death scene where they follow the grim reaper in their cars.
Monty Python — Life of Brian — the sandal scene
Goodwill Hunting – the bar scene where the main character discusses/mocks post modernism and American history with a graduate student.
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#10. Speaking of Raising Arizona
“I’ll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got”.
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The crew of Serenity has just escaped from the cannibalistic Reavers and hired gun Jayne Cobb is trying to understand their mindset.
Jayne Cobb: I’ll kill a man in a fair fight… or if I think he’s gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there’s a woman, or if I’m gettin’ paid – mostly only when I’m gettin’ paid. But these Reavers… last ten years they show up like the bogeyman from stories. Eating people alive? Where’s that get fun?
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I think my favorite is from Star Wars episode 5, when Han Solo is about to be freeze-dried, and Princess Leia cries out “Han, I love you!”
Han replies “I know.”
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I just want my phone call… (the Joker)
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Remember WKRP in Cincinnati?
For a promotional Thanksgiving special Mr. Carlson dropped a bunch of turkeys out of a traffic helicopter. They of course hit the ground like bags of wet cement.
When asked why he did it Mr. Carlson said: “As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly”.
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26. Greatest line in TV history.
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Sound of Music. Captain Von Trapp with Nazi symapthizer Herr Zeller.
Trapp: Herr Zeller, when the Nazis come, I’m sure you’ll be the entire trumpet section.
Zeller: You flatter me.
Trapp: Do I? How clumsy of me. I meant to accuse you.
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HERB, #24, That’s what made me a fan of Harrison Ford.
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King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn’t vote for you.
King Arthur: You don’t vote for kings.
Woman: Well how’d you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Dennis: Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.
Dennis: Oh but if I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away.
Dennis: Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
King Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn’t you?
– The Holy Grail
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“Good. Bad. I’m the guy with the gun.”
– Army of Darkness
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More Serenity:
Later on in the scene Kbell mentioned:
Kaylee: I heard that they were men that got to the edge of space and just went crazy
Jayne: Aw, *expletive*, I’ve been to the edge of space. Just looked like…more space.
The crew has just narrowly escaped from a raiding party of reavers:
Simon: River, are you ok?
River: I swallowed a bug.
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Also from Princess Bride: “You’ve fallen for one of the classic blunders, the first of which is ‘Never get involved in a land war in Asia’, but only SLIGHTLY less well known is, ‘Never go up against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line’! Hahaha, ahahaha–”
From Jack Sparrow, “No. You want you to find this. Because the finding of this finds you incapacitorily finding and/or locating the discovering a way to save your dolly belle, ol’ what’s-’er-face.”
From Rocky and Bullwinkle:
Rocky: “This looks like real trouble, Bullwinkle!”
Bullwinkle: “Good, I hate that make-believe kind!”
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Shawshank Redemption:
Andy: That’s the beauty of music. They can’t get that from you… Haven’t you ever felt that way about music?
Red: I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn’t make much sense in here.
Andy: Here’s where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don’t forget.
Red: Forget?
Andy: Forget that… there are places in this world that aren’t made out of stone. That there’s something inside… that they can’t get to, that they can’t touch. That’s yours.
Red: What’re you talking about?
Andy: Hope.
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Everyone has been quoting from The Princess Bride, but fortunately nobody has used some of the lines I like.
Inigo Montoya: “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father; prepare to die.”
Count Rugen keeps his sword pointed at Inigo and then turns and runs away.
From Star Wars Episode II:
In the Geonosian arena, Anakin says something along the lines of this:
Anakin: “We thought we might be in trouble, so we decided to come and rescue you.
Obi Wan: “Good job.”
Later, during the duel with Count Dooku, after Dooku has hit Anakin with electricity and tries to do the same to Obi Wan, Obi Wan blocks the electricity with his lightsaber and says
“I don’t think so.” Both of those must be heard to be appreciated, because of Obi Wan’s way of talking, and Ewan McGregor’s Scottish accent.
Recently, from Kung Fu Panda:
Tai Lung:”You’re just a big, fat panda!
Po: “No, I am the big fat panda.
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My personal favorite is from sky high
Layla: Whats humiliating him in front of everyone going to prove? This is so unfair.
Will: If life were to suddenly get fair I doubt it would happen in high school.
Another is from Lord of the rings
Gollum: And I takes it all for me!
And Pirates of the caribeann 3
Barbosa: You may kiss, You may kiss, JUST KISS!
I also have a favorite from Batman.the Tv show. Batman: Oh by the bernard, evil aliens are invading the city and I’m kinda busy so would you mind patching my friend up?
Bernard: Sure.
Batgirl: Aren’t you freaked out?
Bernard: I work for a freak who dresses up like a bat and stops crime. Nothing freaks me out.
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Monty Python…
“Bring out your dead! I’m not dead yet…I’m feeling much better…I think I’ll go for a walk.”
# 26 – WKRP – same episode…as the turkeys fall from the chopper – “Oh,the humanity of it all!”
Animal House – “Hi. XXXX(insert name), Rush Chairman – Darned glad to meet you!” – one we use on a regular basis, adding our name of course…
Dr. Strangelove – and you have to be an Air Force Bomber dude from the old SAC era to truly appreciate this movie…almost any scene
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Well I usually don’t remember movie lines but I love The Lord of the Rings movies and have a few favs from there! My very favorite comes from The Return of the King. King Theoden and his armies(who totally rock!) have just ridden for three days to come to the aid of the Gondorian people who are being overrun by thousands of nasty orcs and goblins. They are tired and they know that they are very outnumbered yet they form battle lines and prepare to attack anyway. Before they ride down into a swarp of evil King Theoden gives a short speech and the ending line is:
“Now go forth and fear no darkness.”
I think that is cool and as a Christian I identify with it. No matter what we face or how outnumbered we appear to be we should always go forth with such an attitude. We have nothing to fear.
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From the movie, Hopscotch with Walter Mathau, Ned Beatty, Glenda Jackson and Sam Waterston.
Matheu, a CIA agent named Kendig takes out an international Russian spy ring during the cold war era and leaves the ringleader in place because, as he points out to his very angry new boss, Myerson, (played by Ned Beatty) “They’ll just put a new guy in place and it’ll take us 6 months to figure out who and another 18 months to figure out how he operates. We shut down Yaskov’s the whole operation.” From there on out, Kendig starts writing his memoirs, sending each new chapter to all of the world’s intelligence agencies. Of course there are a lot of episodes that are embarrassing to Meyerson, and it becomes Meyerson’s personal ambition and vendetta to find and terminate Kendig.
Unbeknownst to Meyerson, Kendig has rented Meyerson’s summer home in Savannah and is setting up one of the funniest scenes in the movie.
Kendig (to framed Photograph of Meyerson): Hello Meyerson, you short person. (Dials the phone) Pay attention, Shorty.”
He makes a phonecall from Meyerson’s house to his friend Isabelle in Austria (played by Glenda Jackson), whose phone is wiretapped by the CIA.
Kendig: Iz! How are ya?!
Isabelle: WHAT are you doing? You know there are no less than 25 people listening in.
Kendig: Don’t worry about me! I’m forded up here with all kinds of firepower.
Isabelle: I hope yopu know what you’re doing.
Kendig: I’ve left everything to the Flat Earth Society.
Isabelle: Well if you see Kendig, tell the old goat I love him, Mr. …
Kendig: Hannaway. Charlie Hannaway. And I love you too.
Of course they trace the call and Meyerson goes through the roof. It the FBI’s case and they end up shooting up Meyerson’s house as Kendig escapes.
One other funny line –
Meyerson: What’s going on?!!
Joe Cutter (Kendig’s replacement, played by Sam Waterston) deadpans: They’re shooting up your house.
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Air Force One – “GIT OFF MY PLANE!”
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The Magnificent Seven:
Red: (shoots at escaping horseman with pistol)
Chico (”the kid”): That was the greatest shot I’ve ever seen!
Red:”Worst. I was aiming for the horse.”
My self-made line:
“Feel the power. Unleash the fury. Demolish the opposition.” Sounds like it might make a better video game trailer than movie line to me. (it can apply if you have lots of horsepower, firepower or mind power–especially if “mind power” means telekinesis or zero-point energy…)
I don’t think that’s in a movie (yet), but if it is, tell me so I can say I didn’t make it up.
I might try to make a short video with that line in it sometime…
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Good stuff, all.
A few that haven’t been mentioned yet…
From Casablanca:
Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
From Planet of the Apes:
[the first words ever spoken by a human to the apes]
Taylor: Take your stinking paws off me, you d—ed, dirty ape!
From It’s a Wonderful Life:
[after Mr. Potter's attempt to lure George away from the Building & Loan fails]
George Bailey: You sit around here and you spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money. Well, it doesn’t, Mr. Potter. In the whole vast configuration of things, I’d say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider. And…
[turning to his aide]
George Bailey: And that goes for you, too!
(Thanks to imdb.com for the quotes.)
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Not any scene, but I was always amused in James Bond movies when the bad guy catches Bond, then proceeds to kill him by some esoteric means, such as being thrown into a pool of sharks, and which Bond just happens to have in his wristwatch a means of defeating it.
I would make a terrible bad guy. I would have shot him in the head right there.
But that would end the show, wouldn’t it?
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Men in Black: “No ma’am, we at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we’re aware of.”
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Chas, that is kind of like the way the bad guys would always lock the A-Team up in a big warehouse full of stuff to build weapons out of.
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A new favorite from “National Treasure II”.
“Do you know what the tax is on five million dollars? Six million dollars.”
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HRW,
Here’s my favorite from Holy Grail. Two peasants digging in a field and King Arthur rides up.
Woman: Oh. How do you do?
King Arthur: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?
Woman: King of the who?
King Arthur: King of the Britons.
Woman: Who are the Britons?
King Arthur: Well, we all are. We are all Britons. And I am your king.
Woman: I didn’t know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Dennis: You’re foolin’ yourself! We’re living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class…
Woman: Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.
Dennis: Well, that’s what it’s all about! If only people would…
King Arthur: Please, please, good people, I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
Woman: No one lives there.
King Arthur: Then who is your lord?
Woman: We don’t have a lord.
Dennis: I told you, we’re an anarco-sydicalist commune. We take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week…
King Arthur: Yes…
Dennis: …but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting…
King Arthur: Yes I see…
Dennis: …by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs…
King Arthur: Be quiet!
Dennis: …but by a two thirds majority in the case of…
King Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Woman: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
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Lonesome Dove:
Ex-Texas Rangers discover one of their friends fell in with horse thieves, so of course they have to hang him. Its the law!
As the man has the noose around his neck he says, “Well if a man’s gotta be hung, it sure is nice to be hung by your friends.” His friends say, “We’re sure gonna miss ya”.
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Wow, I’ve never known a woman to like Monty Python. Good for you Lynn!
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Also from Serenity:
Mal found himself married by the customs of a planet they were visiting.
Shepherd Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to go to a special layer of hell reserved for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre.
Shepherd Book (a little later): Oh, you were kissing? How SPECIAL!
An exchange between Mal and Wash when the two of them were taken captive by Niska, a nasty bad guy. This is about Wash’s wife Zoey who was under Mal’s command in the Battle of Serenity Valley.
Wash: I’m the one she promised to love, honor and obey!
Mal: She promised to obey?
Wash: Well, no. But that’s my point. YOU she obeys. There’s obeying going on under my nose. She follows every order you give her.
Mal: She does not.
Wash: Name one.
Mal: She married you!
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Excuse me – that should have been Firefly.
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Home is where you put your hat
Emilio Lizardo in Buckaroo Bonzai
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#45 Or MacGyver!
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Emperor’s New Groove: Yzma, with sidekick Kronk, has just picked out a potion with which to poison the emperor and take his job.
Yzma: “Take it, Kronk! Feel the power!”
Kronk: [Takes the vial and turns it around a little in his hands.]
Kronk: “Oh. I can feel it.”
I also love Princess Bride, where they’re trying to get into the castle. All guards have fled, except the captain.
Inigo to Captain: “Give us the gate key.”
Captain: “I have no gate key.”
Inigo to Fezzig the Giant: “Fezzig, tear his arms off.”
Captain: “Oh, you mean this gate key.”
And Rocketman, in which the main character, covered in blue space-toilet fluid, looks down on the earth and, on worldwide television, begins singing: “I’ve got the whole world in my hands…” and a few lines later, tries to get people in various languages to sing along by babbling and, for the Japanese, naming car companies.
MacGuyver, the first episode, in which he and a girl are trapped somewhere and need explosives to do something. He begins looking for stuff to make a bomb.
Girl: “Don’t tell me you can make a bomb out of a stick of chewing gum!”
Mac: “Why, you got any?”
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MacGyver would use a multi-purpose tool if he was a “modern” guy. Swiss army knives are old-school.
And the “arms are strong as iron bands” or “iron sharpeneth iron” things are also rather outdated.
We use steel now.
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Oh, and I could go on forever with the TV cartoon/Americanime series “Invader Zim”.
Zim is an idiotic, megalomaniac alien trying to take over the Earth. GIR is his very broken robotic assistant.
Zim: “No, GIR! No tacos!”
GIR: “But I NEED tacos! I need them or I will explode… that happens to me sometimes.”
On a planet where he is being “trained”, the drill sargeant explains to him and the other trainees that anyone who fails will be sent to…
Alien Sargeant: “The holding pen… OF PAIN!”
Alien Trainee: “The holding pen is painful?”
Sarge: “Yes.”
Trainee: “Does it have to be?”
Sarge: “Not… really.”
In one episode, entitled “GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff”, the robot GIR is locked into “Duty Mode”, making him reasonably intelligent for once. He begins sucking up all the knowledge from a public library into a ridiculous giant holding tank on his back.
GIR: “The knowledge… it fills me! [pause] It is neat.”
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Wow, I’m having way too much fun with this.
Anybody seen the Stargate: SG-1 episode called “Window of Opportunity”… yeah, that whole thing was funny. They get caught in a time loop and start doing crazy stuff that they know they can get away with since time will just loop back and nobody will know it happened. Like golfing through the Stargate, a large interstellar teleporter.
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Highlander, from the first season. The episode in which we first meet Amanda. Tess and MacLeod are at the circus. Amanda is the high wire act.
Tess: Who is that?
MacLeod: A bad habit.
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Last one, I promise! (For now, anyway…)
Bill and Ted’s Most Excellent Adventure: after school, as Bill is getting picked up by his step-mom.
Ted: “Dude, your step-mom’s hot.”
Bill: “Shut up, Ted.”
Ted: “Remember when she was a senior, and we were freshmen?”
My brother and I say “Shut up, Ted” all the time now. Whenever someone says something touché, really.
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O Brother, Where Art Thou?
“Never trust a Hogwallop”
“Do not seek the treasure.”
“Lots of respectable people been hit by trains.”
It’s a Wonderful Life–How to choose, there are just so many!
“I just came in to get warm”
“Bread, that this house may never know hunger, salt that life may always have flavor, wine that joy and prosperity may abound. Enter the Martini castle.”
“I’m going off my nut.”
Also, from Butch Cassidy: “You just keep thinking, Butch. That’s what you’re good at.”
Simpsons Movie: Bart: This is the worst day of my life. Homer: The worst day of your life, so far!
Signs: Everybody in this family needs to calm down and eat some fruit or something.
Black Hawk Down: Everybody’s shot.
Calendar Girls–the Helen Mirren character is reading a description of sunflowers, comparing them to the women of Yorkshire: The last stage is the most glorious. And then they quickly go to seed.
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“Futurama” on the episode where the crew travels to Dr. Zoidberg’s planet for mating season. Zoidberg and Fry are about to fight to the death for a woman:
Zoidberg: Fry, it’s been years since medical school. Disemboweling your species, fatal or non-fatal?
Fry: Fatal.
Zoidberg [to Bender the robot]: Large bet on myself!
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Not to sharpshoot you, Cuthalion, but the giant’s name was “Fezzik,” if I remember correctly.
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“Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks.”
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My favorite movie of all time is “1984″ Based on George Orwell’s novel of the same name starring John Hurt and Richard Burton.
My favorite quote is Burton in the role of O’Brien regarding socialism:
“If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever.”
That line blew my mind when I first read it in 1971 and Burton’s delivery of it in the movie affected me profoundly as well.
I’ve been in several countries in Eastern Europe all the way to the Black Sea years ago and more recently I’ve lived and taught in China. I’ve seen firsthand the ravages of socialism on individuals and on nations.
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I’m amazed that no one has mentioned “Blazing Saddles” or “Young Frankenstein”
From “Young Frankenstein” (visualization helps):
Igor: “Wauk this way.”
(starts walking hunched over down steps one at a time)
Y. F.: (begins to follow walking normally)
Igor: “No! No! Wauk this way!
Y. F. (hunches over and walks down steps one at a time.)
or,
Y. F.: I understand your name is e-gore.
Igor: No! My name is I-gore!
Y. F.: But they told me your name was e-gore.
Igor: Well, they were wrong, weren’t they!
or,
Y. F.: Whose brain did you get, anyway?
Igor: I believe its name was “Abby” something.
Y. F.: “Abby”?
Igor: Yes! That’s it. “Abby” (pause) “Abby Normal.”
or every time Frau Buecher’s name is mentioned, the horses rear up and whinny.
or,
Y. F: Well…good-night.
Frau Buecher: Would you like some varm milch?
(batting eyelashes)
Y. F. (shuddering): No thank you…Good night.
Frau Buecher: Are you sure you would not like some varm milch?
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Norman: Hi, pal! I was just passing by and I thought I’d drop in!
Jackie: Yeah? Well just keep passing by till you get to the river and then drop in.
(Bonus points to whomever identifies the source of those lines … )
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We’ve got a blind date with Destiny – and it looks like she’s ordered the lobster.
Mystery Men
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XION 49. She’s not the only one.
“French soldier: I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I spit in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.”
I cleaned it up just a little bit.
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Two come to mind:
* From “To Kill A Mockingbird”: Gregory Peck, the attorney defending the falsely accused black man in the south, has just lost his case. As he closes his briefcase and walks toward the back of the empty courtroom, his napping children, sitting up in the balcony with the black community members, are nudged and told: “Stand up, children. Your father’s passing by.”
* And from “Friendly Persuasion,” when Gary Cooper, (Jess Birdwell, an Indiana Quaker during the Civil War) goes looking for his son who, against his family wishes, has volunteered to join the local Union supporters.
After the battle, Peck comes upon a young Confederate soldier who points his rifle at him: Peck grabs the gun away, points it back at the boy who trembles and looks absolutely horrified at the prospect that he’ll soon die.
“I won’t harm thee,” Peck finally says, handing the gun back to the stunned soldier who walks away in a daze.
Disarmed, completely.
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In Time Bandits the devil is ridiculing God to his demon servant standing by:
Devil: I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding.
Demon: Understanding of what, master?
Devil: Digital watches. And soon I will have understanding of videocassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! God isn’t interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time: forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!
Demon: Slugs.
Devil: Slugs! He created slugs! They can’t hear, they can’t speak, they can’t operate machinery. If I were creating the world, I wouldn’t mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would’ve started with lasers, eight o’clock, day one.
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Seventy posts on this and NO ONE has mentioned anything from “Forrest Gump”. ??
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Chas, 63.
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Dr. Dave,
Totally forgot about Young Frankenstein.
I love when the doctor and Inga arrive at the castle doors that have those massive metal door knockers. As the doctor helps Inga out of the carriage, he notices the doors…
Dr. Frankenstein: What knockers!
Inga: (blushing) Oh, thank you.
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From Jekyll and Hyde Together Again:
Jekyll is turning into Hyde or from Hyde back to Jekyll when he sees a sheep in his laboratory.
Jekyll/Hyde: (Noticing sheep) Oh no! How far back to my beastly ancesters have I returned?
Sheep: Baa
Jekyll: That far?
Sheep (Nodding) Baa Haa.
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I love in its a wonderful life.
” Hello Gentlemen I’m going to prison!”
Another of my Favs from lord of the rings is Sams speech at the end of the two towers.
I love from Natinal treasure 2
Ben:you opened taht in 25 seconds
Riley: Thats why I tell people to gat a dog.
From Pirates of the Caribeann
Jack: Think like the whelp, think like the whelp.
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Ice Age II
Sid: If your species will continue, clap your hands. *clap clap*
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From “Butch Cassidy”: Who ARE those guys?
From “Jaws”: We’ve got to get a bigger boat!
From “Patton”: Americans LOVE a fight!
From “Cool Hand Luke”: What we have here is a failure to communicate.
From “Treasure of the Sierra Madre”: Badges! We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!
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