This just in: “Brides” and “grooms” are returning to California. State health officials announced they have revised marriage license applications, reinstating the time-honored terms due to popular demand. The terms disappeared from the applications after the California Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in June, and were replaced by the gender-neutral language “Party A” and “Party B.”

The new paperwork, available in November, will feature blank spaces for applicants’ names and personal information, with boxes for checking “bride” or “groom.” Since the boxes appear next to both names, the form will work for all comers…bride and groom…bride and bride…groom and groom…bride marrying butch woman who wants to call herself a groom…groom marrying effeminate man who wants to call himself a bride…