Comments on: Darwinistic dating http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/ A forum for discussion of news that arises at the intersection of Christianity and culture. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:18:11 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Random Name http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371198 Random Name Tue, 18 Nov 2008 03:04:45 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371198 <i>Hymowitz’s overall point is that feminism has produced a chaotic ambiguity in relationships.</i> This is new? Ever hear of a writer named F. Scott Fitzgerald, for example? The mess of human sexuality has been festering among us for a long, long, time. Every couple of weeks, the folks at wmb discover it again; for about what, the ten thousandth time? Hymowitz’s overall point is that feminism has produced a chaotic ambiguity in relationships.

This is new?

Ever hear of a writer named F. Scott Fitzgerald, for example?

The mess of human sexuality has been festering among us for a long, long, time. Every couple of weeks, the folks at wmb discover it again; for about what, the ten thousandth time?

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]]> By: Chas http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371142 Chas Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:05:09 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371142 I think several of you are missing it. I've stayed out of this because I'm from a different generation where men were supposed to be considerate of women, and women expected it and appreciated it. However, I think some of you have misdefined "nice guy". A nice guy can indeed be decisive and take up for himself and his woman when threatened. He is nice because he considers others, and considers that his woman needs protection from whatever. "Nice" doesn't mean he's a Casper Milktoast. (You don't remember him?) I percieve that part of the current problem is the way women see themselves. Most women, I believe, appreciate the courtesies appropriate between men and women. But some men are afraid of being rebuffed by the woman. Also, there is a general coarsening of society. That's not the kernel, but a large part of the problem. There's no such thing as "manners" anymore. I think several of you are missing it. I’ve stayed out of this because I’m from a different generation where men were supposed to be considerate of women, and women expected it and appreciated it. However, I think some of you have misdefined “nice guy”. A nice guy can indeed be decisive and take up for himself and his woman when threatened. He is nice because he considers others, and considers that his woman needs protection from whatever.
“Nice” doesn’t mean he’s a Casper Milktoast. (You don’t remember him?)
I percieve that part of the current problem is the way women see themselves. Most women, I believe, appreciate the courtesies appropriate between men and women. But some men are afraid of being rebuffed by the woman.

Also, there is a general coarsening of society. That’s not the kernel, but a large part of the problem. There’s no such thing as “manners” anymore.

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]]> By: michelle http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371141 michelle Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:03:33 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371141 So you've all heard of Paul Coughli<i>'s book, <i>No More Christian Nice Guy</i> and the sequel he's trying to sell with Jennifer Degler: "No More Christian Nice Girl</i>? http://tinyurl.com/6kdt8v So you’ve all heard of Paul Coughli’s book, No More Christian Nice Guy and the sequel he’s trying to sell with Jennifer Degler: “No More Christian Nice Girl?
http://tinyurl.com/6kdt8v

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]]> By: Thorn http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371138 Thorn Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:38:28 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371138 "One comment I heard from a girl on “nice guys” makes sense. If a guy won’t stand up TO you he won’t stand up FOR you." Thats typically true. Nice guys are either afraid to 1. offend or 2. be decisive. “One comment I heard from a girl on “nice guys” makes sense. If a guy won’t stand up TO you he won’t stand up FOR you.”

Thats typically true. Nice guys are either afraid to 1. offend or 2. be decisive.

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]]> By: CCC http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371124 CCC Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:37:23 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371124 “Recovering Nice Guy” sounds like he has as many issues as post-feminist <i>women who have no idea what they really want (besides casual sex)</i>. They are both on the "crazy cycle" (Google it). As Ravi Zacharias has said, "Love is more an act of the will than a feeling." “Recovering Nice Guy” sounds like he has as many issues as post-feminist women who have no idea what they really want (besides casual sex). They are both on the “crazy cycle” (Google it). As Ravi Zacharias has said, “Love is more an act of the will than a feeling.”

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]]> By: REG http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371075 REG Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:58:13 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371075 12- that may be true with good guys. However, my abusive guy would stand up to me everyday, but he did NOT stand up for me 12-
that may be true with good guys. However, my abusive guy would stand up to me everyday, but he did NOT stand up for me

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]]> By: kBells http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371051 kBells Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:00:59 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371051 One comment I heard from a girl on "nice guys" makes sense. If a guy won't stand up TO you he won't stand up FOR you. One comment I heard from a girl on “nice guys” makes sense. If a guy won’t stand up TO you he won’t stand up FOR you.

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]]> By: REG http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371018 REG Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:31:33 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371018 spiritual brainwashing/abuse by bad men is worse than the sexual abuse, victims will say spiritual brainwashing/abuse by bad men is worse than the sexual abuse, victims will say

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]]> By: REG http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371017 REG Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:30:02 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371017 "Girls have a tendency to missassociate “bad boys” with authoratative leadership. “Nice boys” dont come across that way. Its even harder to distinguish should said girls having been abused by “bad men”." This is what I did. I had emotional intimacy with one who was sexually abused in childhood, and as a result was somewhat asexual. Then I met my husband on a good Christian college campus and mistook him for a leader, when what he really was was abusive. There were other girls on the same campus who recognized him for what he was; I could not. I was too inexperienced, sheltered as a child, and I relied too much on group leaders to do my thinking (and feeling) for me, as a good churched girl "should" do. “Girls have a tendency to missassociate “bad boys” with authoratative leadership. “Nice boys” dont come across that way.
Its even harder to distinguish should said girls having been abused by “bad men”.”

This is what I did. I had emotional intimacy with one who was sexually abused in childhood, and as a result was somewhat asexual. Then I met my husband on a good Christian college campus and mistook him for a leader, when what he really was was abusive. There were other girls on the same campus who recognized him for what he was; I could not. I was too inexperienced, sheltered as a child, and I relied too much on group leaders to do my thinking (and feeling) for me, as a good churched girl “should” do.

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]]> By: Thorn http://online.worldmag.com/2008/11/17/darwinistic-dating/comment-page-1/#comment-371013 Thorn Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:22:42 +0000 http://online.worldmag.com/?p=18042#comment-371013 Girls have a tendency to missassociate "bad boys" with authoratative leadership. "Nice boys" dont come across that way. Its even harder to distinguish should said girls having been abused by "bad men". Its an anchient issue. Mature, good christian girls find good mature christian boys who understand the difference. On the other hand, I still think most girls are nuts :) Girls have a tendency to missassociate “bad boys” with authoratative leadership. “Nice boys” dont come across that way.
Its even harder to distinguish should said girls having been abused by “bad men”.

Its an anchient issue.

Mature, good christian girls find good mature christian boys who understand the difference.

On the other hand, I still think most girls are nuts :)

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