The view from the backseat
In a recent editorial for The Times of London, Cherie Blair, the wife of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, offered Michelle Obama some rather pointed advice about what it means to be the wife of a world leader:
You have to learn to take a backseat, not just in public but in private. … You have to try as well, where you can, to share the burden without interfering. You can’t confuse being a sounding board with having influence over decisions. You always have to remember that it is not you who was elected.
Blair goes on to add that she was fortunate enough during her husband’s tenure to continue her career–a commodity she realizes will not be an option for Obama: “But it is something of an irony that in these days of pushing for equality, those married to our political leaders have to put their own ambitions on hold while their spouses are in office, and keep their views to themselves, sometimes, as in my case, even at home.”
Although Obama seems to have embraced her new role, Blair’s observations highlight a passionate debate among women who are divided over whether Obama will use her position to become “a groundbreaking pioneer or a dispiriting symbol of the limitations of modern-day, working motherhood.”
And so while many people have cheered Barack Obama for breaking racial barriers, some argue that his wife remains bound by a traditional role that seems too small for a thoughtful, Ivy League-educated executive. Leslie Morgan Steiner, editor of the anthology of essays titled “Mommy Wars,” which was published by Random House in 2006, argued on National Public Radio’s program “Tell Me More” that Michelle Obama had been “put in a box” and was celebrated in the media only after she decided “to put her family first.”
Champions of Obama, however, say she shouldn’t be deemed a victim for having to step away from her career for a few years to serve as first lady, a stint that will only amplify her future career aspirations. They also argue that Obama–rather than being pigeonholed–will likely use her position to remake the role of first lady. What do you think?




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back to top12 Comments to “The view from the backseat”
You have to learn to take a backseat, not just in public but in private. … You have to try as well, where you can, to share the burden without interfering. You can’t confuse being a sounding board with having influence over decisions. You always have to remember that it is not you who was elected
Quite unfortunate Cherie hadn’t given such good advice to Hillary when Bill Clinton became US President!
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You know I find this is true in my non-political, non-famous marriage. What is the role of a spouse? I’m to love and encourage, listen and move gingerly with my advice to my husband, but you didn’t want me advising on submarine maneuvers did you?
Even now we talk about ways to deal with difficult people, but I certainly don’t advise him on the nuances of his job or his decision-making process.
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I think it is unfortunate that our “equality-demanding” sisters don’t understand that not being in the spotlight does not mean being religated to a position of unimportance. As history has shown, many first-ladies have provided important and lasting leadership in any number of ways. To imply that Mrs. Obama is somehow going to have to “shelve” her gifts and find a comfy corner in the basement while her hubby gets to do all the fun stuff is ludicrous. She will have ample opportunities to apply her talents and insights, though she may have to find a new normal to some extent for the time being.
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I think these folks need to watch the John Adams movie, and think about Abigail Adams role in the government.
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I am violating my suggestion, but not to comment on anything today. I am just reminding “rebels” of my request that you take one day’s break from posting.
It is OK to take a back seat for one day in this blog.
We tell my granddaughter to say “Please.” Please take one day break from posting. We tell RG to say “Thank you.” Thank you.
I am setting a good example for RG.
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#5 RANDOM,
I wonder how many times we will have see your nonsense above today? Even when you aren’t participating you spew nonesense. That takes real talent even for you
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The last time we had an elitist, highly educated, co-dependent, addictive co-presidency it imploded into Cuban cigars, insane healthcare ideas and blue dresses with spots on them. The one before that ended in an assassin’s bullet.
I say go for it Michelle so you can finally be in charge of your own destiny instead of hanging on to your husband’s coat tails. You are too big for first lady place card and china approver. No not that China. You can’t let previous failures keep you from being really proud of your country for the first time as you co lead it into the great unknown. Even Messiahs need a co-Mess. Just try to keep his clothes on, don’t be in charge of anything controversial like health care, SS or Medicare reform and make sure he wears his body armour. That bean pole of yours could use come bulking up anyway and the padding will help it look like his gym time is finally paying off
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Psst. Michelle. I just heard your husband on TV once again say there is only one president at a time and it is George Bush. He stopped saying this nonsense yeasterday but now his back saying it again, Yes there is only one president at a time but tell him it it him – The Messiah – and has been since Nov 5.
No matter how many times he says it, Bush is no longer President. Tell him no one believes this lie. Even Bush knows Obama is president. I thought Obama is supposed to be way smarter than Bush?
This is not good.
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I really think we need to refer to her as Mrs. O on this blog, otherwise I get confused.
I pulled out my sword, ready to vanquish all foes as I pursued my destiny, only to realized Llama wasn’t talking about me . . .
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Oh yeah Michelle. Tell him if he wasn’t president, then why is he on TV every day letting the country know first hand that Bush is no longer president?
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You mean our Michelle isn’t the Michelle? We should feel victimized
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Henceforth, I will say Michelle O. I suspect we will hear from her frequently. Our Michelle is THE Michelle. Michelle O belongs to someone else.
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