The Baby Mama stigma
For WORLD’s January Roe v. Wade issue, I’m working on a story about the disproportionate effect of abortion on black Americans.
Thirteen million African-American babies have died in the womb since Roe v. Wade was decided in 1973. That number is more than 2.5 times the total number of deaths among blacks from AIDS, cancer, accidents, heart disease, and violent crime combined.
And although African American women make up only 13 percent of the population, one-third of all abortions are performed on black women, according to the Centers for Disease Control. Meanwhile, three of every five black babies die in the womb.
Rev. Clenard Childress, founder of www.blackgenocide.org, provides more startling statistics:
Between 1882 and 1968, 3,446 blacks were lynched in the U.S..
Now, 1,452 African-American children are killed each day by abortion. That means that today, in the post-Civil Rights era, the number of black Americans killed by other Americans surpasses the total number of lynchings during the Jim Crow era every three days.
I’ve been exploring the roots of this tragedy, and today spoke by phone with Tijuanna Adetunji, 38, a delightful woman who lives in Montgomery, Alabama. Tijuanna grew up in the Montgomery projects where, she said, black girls and women grew up mainly without fathers and spent their adolescence looking for love. They found it in the beds and back seats of men who gave “love” to get sex.
The result — epidemic out-of-wedlock pregnancy — routinely fulfilled a hated stereotype: the black Baby Mama giving birth to welfare brats.
Back then, Tijuanna said, it was a mark of status if you could afford an abortion.
“The white girls could get an abortion because they had access to money,” she explained. “We looked bad because we had the babies. The only reason we didn’t get an abortion is because we didn’t have the money. At the same time, when you had the baby, you weren’t going to college, you weren’t going anywhere. You were exactly what everyone said black girls from the projects were: Nothing.”
Tijuanna aborted two of her own children after leaving the projects at age 15. Today, she works to make African-Americans aware that abortion is so rampant among them that it has actually reduced the number of blacks in proportion to the U.S. population, while other minorities have increased their numbers.
She believes the Baby Mama stigma persists even today. It is not the only cause for the high abortion rate among blacks, she said, but among women in particular, avoiding the stereotype looms large.
“We want to get away from the projects,” Tijuanna said. “It’s like the Enemy has duped us into believing we must kill our own children to do so. We just want to get away from it at all costs. It’s like we haven’t progressed at all.”














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back to top49 Comments to “The Baby Mama stigma”
As long as the majority of African-Americans vote D, this endless cycle will continue.
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Oh please.
As long as conservative Christians deny public funding for sex education in schools, for educational opportunities past high school and for access to contraception, this endless cycle will continue.
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There is NO baby mama stigma. The rate of out of wedlock births among blacks proves this. The last thing the black community (or ANY community) needs is more out of wedlock births. Think about what the consequences of banning abortion outright might have in that regard.
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And let me predict. Someone will half agree with what I wrote but note no one should have sex before marriage, to which I would respond: Get real. That cat is out of the bag and not going back in until utopia [in your case, when Jesus comes back].
How about: Use a condemn next time.
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Heh. I meant “condom.”
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Having spent the weekend with my adamant abortion-rights relatives (and learned to my amusement than one has blogged about me that I “just don’t get it”) and thought about yesterday’s Planned Parenthood expose, I’ve recognized a difference in attitudes between “them” and me: our worldview. Bear with me.
If God opens and closes the womb, as well as determines the number of hairs on our heads and the length of our days, He is the one responsible for our life. As a Christian, I’ve encountered many God-ordained changes in direction from where I planned to go to where He needed me to go. I’ve not always been happy with those changes, but I’ve accepted them because Romans 8:28 tells me “everything works together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes.”
Crisis pregnancies included.
But we live in a society which disdains the hand of God and insists we are captains of our own fates. If we plan and organize our life in one direction (or, often, even if we don’t), and we get waylaid by something we hadn’t planned to do or be, we become angry. And we often look for ways to get around the barrier to our glorious plans.
Unexpected pregnancies included.
It’s a different way of viewing the same “crisis”–is it a tragedy or an opportunity?
My role as a Christian is to submit my will to God’s plan. By doing so, He can work in my life far more effectively than if I was championing my own agenda.
That’s why I can ask a young woman an honest question: “How do you know God will not use this unintended pregnancy to His glory in your life?”
Certainly, history is rife with women who have lived in drudgery and poverty when the men who fathered their children abused them, didn’t support the family, and made their lives difficult. But we live in a time when pregnancy is voluntary–you don’t have to get pregnant unless you want to. Birth control is available everywhere for pennies. There is little excuse for an unplanned pregnancy.
But some of us don’t want to be bound by the inconvenience of curbing our sexuality even long enough to find a condom. And when a “mistake” occurs, we want to terminate a fetus rather than have to deal with the consequences of our choices.
I don’t think ending someone else’s life is a good way to solve a problem.
As Christians, perhaps we need to be providing people with the good news that God can work in any circumstance to His glory. That unexpected forks in the road can be opportunities to a different, but possibly more interesting and richer, life. Perhaps if we give people–old and young–glimpses into what could be rather than what is, we could “turn the prism” on their difficulties and show them the God who loves them.
I suppose it has to start with us being willing to recognize God’s hand in our life and circumstances.
Best wishes on the article, Lynn.
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But John, condoms fail, and they also foster a false sense of security that the participants are protected from STDs.
The more familiar kids have become with sex, through education, peers, tv, rap, whatever, the more venereal disease and pregnancies occur.
The “fix” isn’t working. Morality worked much better in protecting society at large from these consequences than education in “safe” sex.
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“But John, condoms fail,…”
If you use them right, rarely, like seat belts. I support the idea that “kids” shouldn’t have sex. But “marriage” (especially in this day and age) is an ENTIRELY unrealistic ideal, for most folks. I think “18″ (that is DON’T have sex until you are an adult that is at LEAST 18) is far more realistic. And when you do, DON’T have kids until wedlock which means using a condom or birth control every time.
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I too find it interesting that the liberal mantra, that more “education” is needed, isn’t born out by history. Tell me, Jon Rowe, would you say that teenage pregnancy has gone up or down in the past 50 years? The main problem is that we teach kids that they can’t have self control, so here’s a condom. They can’t have self control, so here’s our new lunch program to keep you from getting fat, etc. etc. We need to teach self discipline in the schools and that a want isn’t the same as a need. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Besides, it isn’t like self control is only useful when it comes to sex. Job market, anyone?
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Heh. I don’t care what we teach kids re sex education. I support vouchers. Rather, my mantra is if you are going to have sex before marriage use a condom. Once you get older and more sophisticated you can go on the pill or use other forms of birth control. Most well educated middle class socially liberal minded women who have sex before marriage DON’T have issues with multiple abortions as featured in this post.
I remember once eating at a restaurant with one such girl/woman when she was about 20 (almost 20 years ago). She got “sick” and had to interruptedly leave. I later found out it was because she forgot to take her pill that day.
Needless to say, she had (to my knowledge) no abortions or out of wedlock births.
That’s what I’m speak of. I don’t care HOW we reach that goal as long as we reach it.
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“The last thing the black community (or ANY community) needs is more out of wedlock births. Think about what the consequences of banning abortion outright might have in that regard.”
We agree on the problem. I disagree over the solution. Killing babies before birth doesn’t solve the problem.
“As long as conservative Christians deny public funding for sex education in schools, for educational opportunities past high school and for access to contraception, this endless cycle will continue. “
Oh please, indeed. Children, with access to contraception and not wanting to finish high school, let alone further education, will continue to have babies despite your Liberal nostrums. When getting a lot of girls pregnant is a status symbol for boys, and being pregnant is a status symbol for girls, your proposals will not interrupt the cycle.
Mischaracterizing the controversy over what is covered, to whom, by whom, and how, as “denying funding for sex education in the schools” is disingenuous.
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2. In other words, if we would solve everyone’s present and future problems by leading them around by the nose, this would happen.
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I don’t know what to make of the following experience.
About forty years ago I taught high school in a public high school in Seattle, WA. It was one of the most racially mixed high schools in the United States at the time. The mixture ran about 1/3 white, about 1/3 black, about 1/3 Asian (with a preponderance of people from the Phillipines in that group). For variety there were also small numbers of Hispanics, Somoans, and American Indians in the student body. The area was undergoing at the time “white flight.” in the community demographics.
On a couple of occasions, we drifted into class discussions of abortion. The arguments, both in ranging across the extremes of pro and anti abortion positions, were similar to the conversations her at wmb.
What struck me at the time, however, is that the black students in my classes were overwhelmingly and intensely against abortion.
I don’t know if that was a characteristic of the area, or Seattle at that time, or what? It was quite evident at that time and I am sure my memory of this is accurate.
While the number was not huge, a number of my black female students became pregnant and kept their babies. (I would have no way of knowing how many black young women in that same group at the time chose to have abortions.)
Again, I don’t characterize this as representing the majority of the black students, I do remember looking out my classroom window on to the street as school ended, and seeing black pimps driving up to the school and picking up some of the students (mostly black) to take them our to start their evening working as prostitutes.
As I realize I am (without intending to) reinforcing stereotypes, I will also mention two sisters (black) whose father was a police officer for the Seattle police department at the time.
I also remember a black dean of students (female) who became a good friend. She ended up having a lot of conflict with a black female student who was very bright but rebellious (typical teenage behavior). I ended up acting as an intermediary between them to calm them down. She ended up playing a similar role in calming a conflict I was having with a white male student.
My points (if there are any) are that a) “race” is mostly a social construct and b) people often don’t fit neatly into the group labels we apply to them.
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That’s “this wouldn’t happen”.
The kid only gave me ten minutes before I have to play with him.
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I deliver an average of 18 babies a month. Close to half of the moms are teens. I’m not sure I believe in a Baby Mama stigma.
Jon Rowe, what education do you think teens should be getting that they’re not?
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Blacks have very, very high rates of illegitimacy, even with all of the abortions. Don’t miss this.
They live in areas that have been Democratic for generations. They have access to birth control and are almost all in public schools. Government agencies provide nearly everything for them.
Everything except fathers.
Regarding the poverty and racial angles, you may want to look at statistics for African and Caribbean immigrant families (think Obama and Powell). The truth is that black non-immigrant fathers are as rare as gold.
This is some of the most damning information people are not talking about.
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Ken: Oh please, indeed. …
Mischaracterizing the controversy over what is covered, to whom, by whom, and how, as “denying funding for sex education in the schools” is disingenuous.
It is … every bit as much as blaming it on African-Americans voting for Democrats, which was what the post I was directly responding to said.
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Jon Rowe, what education do you think teens should be getting that they’re not?
I don’t know, a good education which the public schools aren’t delivering them. In today’s wired world, I don’t care if K-12 teaches this. If SOCIETY needs demand (or even provides as an alternative) they do X, they can do X. After all, I SERIOUSLY doubt learning how to use a condom (or other birth control) properly is harder than figuring out where you need to go to get an abortion.
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The stigma is that a young black woman should have babies. At least in Philadelphia that is what it was.
My wife used to be asked that all the time when she student taught – where are your babies? And years later when I took my daughter to the playground, the children would ask me – are you her father – as if they had never seen one before.
You should go to a neighborhood and spend at least a day walking around and talking to the locals. Make sure to watch the high school let out.
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Jon
The public schools aren’t the problem, it’s the ears of those who sit in the classroom which are closed, waiting for the bell to ring, turning up their ear-phones, tapping away to the music – listen in class? – what’s that, a new joke?
Those whom I know, those where I live aren’t buying the education ‘blither’ any longer – free breakfast, free lunch, educational help when failing, endless programs to help programs who have programs and you think “I don’t know, a good education which the public schools aren’t delivering them.” have you set this tune to music yet?
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People know where babies come from. Do do what makes them, and you won’t have them.
Self-discipline and deferrment of current small pleasures for greater future ones is one of the greatest signs of maturity.
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Sorry, Jon, it was SteveG who brought up education. I was mistaken to direct that question at you.
So, SteveG, I’ll ask you — What education do you think they should be getting that they aren’t getting?
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Men who think condoms or “birth control” are the answer are daft. CONDOMS FAIL. Follow the instructions and they can still fail. They guard against AIDS, but mostly for the man. The pill can have horrible side effects. I am dealing with a young woman who was on the nuvaring. It failed. She tried the morning after pill. It failed. She is waiting for an ultrasound because there is something wrong with the baby that she will deliver in a few months.
This problem goes way beyond education and condoms. Whoever, above, said the problem lies more with the lack of fathers hit closer than any who want to throw money into education or blame the lack of birth control.
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The devil is making me post this comment.
Human sexuality is something that humans have never been able to control in a sensible and successful manner.
The traditional approach such as the conservative Christian posts appearing here with advice such as self control, wait until you get married, abstinence, etc. have not been consistently successful.
“Modern” approaches, such as sex education, birth control, etc. doesn’t work either.
About all I can say (not much more useful, but at least more honest and more realistic) is just to start with being honest and stop deluding ourselves.
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Random Name
With Christ anything is possible and that includes keeping oneself from sexual sin. God is faithful to those who know HIM, who have trusted in HIS Son as their Savior.
As you have made abundantly clear, you do not believe what the Bible teaches, you are not a Believer – for this reason, you wouldn’t understand the power of the Holy Spirit or the strength God gives us when we are tempted – its beyond your ability to understand what Believers have been given –
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
1 Corinthians 10:13
You don’t understand this, there is no way you ever will unless you come to know Jesus Christ and trust HIM as your Savior.
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“I don’t know, a good education which the public schools aren’t delivering them.” have you set this tune to music yet?
In a sense, yes. I pay my dues helping to educate many minorities from the Trenton area who struggle with this, and similar issues. Though, because, I am a college professor I get them after the age of 18. One of my favorite students, male, 27 is on probation and has 4 children from three different baby mommas.
I don’t tell him to use a condom; but I make sure I ask him about his kids and kind of jokingly remind him to make sure he “takes care of his kids.” Though I’m not sure he can tell that I really do worry that he takes care of kids.
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Jon
If you really want to help this guy then why would you:
“kind of jokingly remind him to make sure he “takes care of his kids.”
Why not sit down and discuss the situation, rather than “jokingly” remind him of his obligation? Maybe it would make a difference if this guy really KNEW that you were worried about his kids -
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Well, it’s because I am not a social worker.
Professors deliver moral messages in other (sometimes more clever) ways.
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Jon,
“Well, it’s because I am not a social worker.”
I’m not a social worker either, but if someone was my friend and confided in me about their situation, 4 children, and also on probation, I would do more than “jokingly” talk to them, I would spend some explaining the importance of being a father or mother, which ever the case might be.
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A lot of cliche blame being thrown about here and no one listening to the original story of Tijuanna Adetunji;
“We looked bad because we had the babies. The only reason we didn’t get an abortion is because we didn’t have the money. At the same time, when you had the baby, you weren’t going to college, you weren’t going anywhere. You were exactly what everyone said black girls from the projects were: Nothing.”
Abortions occurred because having children resulted in a loss of social status and future opportunity (ie college). To lower the abortion rate, this issue needs to be addressed. First, lower the pregnancy rate through an all-inclusive sex program. An abstinence program which avoids moralism and focuses on the pragmatic and emotional reasons to avoid sexual relations. An emphasis on the “proper” order — education, career, marriage, children — highlighting on the long term financial and emotional problems which occur when the order is not followed. And finally if all else fails and pregnancy occurs make sure there is more incentive to keep a child and yes that means social programs. Social programs may result in small percentage of abuse but without these programs abortion becomes more attractive. As the quote states, “With the baby you weren’t going anywhere” — change that fact and you will change the abortion rate.
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Much of the disparity between whites and blacks is undoubtedly due to demographics. The poverty rate among blacks is approximately three times the rate among Whites non-Hispanics.
I wonder, too, whether the reduced number of “eligible” black men plays into this? If you’re a black woman looking to form a relationship with a black man, that’s a much more difficult proposition than if you were a white woman. That means its somewhat of a “buyer’s market” from the men’s point of view. Since the men are scarcer than their female counterparts, the women might have undue motivation to make “concessions” in order to get into (or stay in) a relationship.
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buddyglass – 33
If there are such a “reduced number of “eligible” black men” then how did these women get pregnant? Are you saying that the black man doesn’t exist in any great numbers?
What is the “That means its somewhat of a “buyer’s market” from the men’s point of view.” as you posted, what’s that all about? Are you making excuses for rampant sex, and pregnancy, whether it results in abortion or many children which are supported through WELFARE?
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If there are such a “reduced number of “eligible” black men” then how did these women get pregnant? Are you saying that the black man doesn’t exist in any great numbers?
Not that this makes any kind of excuse for ANY kind of misbehavior, but significant #s of black men are in prison such that the ratio of available black men to black women is skewed. And a reduction in the male population doesn’t necessarily reduce the availability of sperm. One man can impregnate multiple women in brief periods of time. If 90% of men died tomorrow, but the female population remained untouched, theoretically the human race *could* continue with women having as many babies as they wanted to so long as traditional morality changed or sperm banks played a greater role to accomplish that end.
This is one reason why black women especially don’t like interracial dating, which is disproportionately black men/white women: It reduces the crop of already diminished number of available black men.
My solution, for some strange reason, isn’t acted upon: More black women, looking for good men, should date white and especially Asian men (who likewise dislike white-asian relationships given they tend to be disproportionately white man asian women). If black women are having a hard time finding good, marriageable men, they should look to the surplus of available Asian men.
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Victoria #34:
Pretty much exactly what John Rowe said. Violent crime and imprisonment have had a significant impact on the ratio of men to women within the black population. The fact that you interpreted my ~explanation~ for behavior an ~excuse~ for that behavior might be worth investigating.
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buddyglass – 36
YOU WRITE: “Pretty much exactly what John Rowe said. Violent crime and imprisonment have had a significant impact on the ratio of men to women within the black population. The fact that you interpreted my ~explanation~ for behavior an ~excuse~ for that behavior might be worth investigating.”
Make no mistake, my answer has nothing to do with Jon, nor does it agree with what you said. Don’t try and put words in my mouth.
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Post 37 should read
My post should have read:
My post has nothing to do with what you have concocted – Don’t try and put words in my mouth – quote me EXACTLY, but do not reword or interpret what I say.
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Like I said….
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I know a former Heisman trophy winnner who got a college education. No dummy he. Yet today Ricky Williams has multiple kids by multiple gals. So education alone can’t change predatory behavior of late adolescent males. Williams at one time was one of the highest paid jocks in America. (He’s now in the Canadian league). He could have easily afforded to buy condoms or pay for birth control pills or both. Could it be that he as the successful alpha black man was targetted by opportunistic young gals eager to have part of his NFL earnings?
This is a great social crisis.
I think the church will most likely sit out this matter as well (too controversial? Detracts from the church’s “real mission”?). I’m not happy concluding that. The young gals alluded to in above posts need role models for prioritizing: education career marriage children. I’m willing to allow flexibility in some instances as common sense would dictate. My neighbor is a warm friendly person. She “stopped out” of college to marry her husband. He’s a career army man. As the kids get older I’m sure she will take a class here and there and based on prior cases of older moms returning to school, she will excell far more than she would have as a 20something due to having a clearer plan and timeline for her life.
Again what folks are not considering is the diminished appeal of an older woman (late 20s mid 30s) who’s put schooling first. A man who does that is lauded for his sacrifice. But a woman? Can you say selfish? Shrew?
It all gets back to our economy no longer having a surfeit of training for or available jobs out there offering a “family wage” to young semi-skilled men. It used to be that a man with irregular jobs and income was untouchable due to diminished or risky income ability. Segments of our demography have abandoned that filter.
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I think the heart of the problem is the entitlement, dependency, victim, and low expectation traps. These need to be identified and attacked by leaders in the community who care about the future.
Obama could do it. But I don’t think he will rock the boat.
There are just too many excuses and no accountability. If something is needed, there is no expectation that it can be obtained from anywhere but the government. The problem is with both men and women. The culture of rewarded irresponsibility needs to be confronted.
Black on black crime is also not addressed. Prisons have disproportionate numbers of blacks, but black murder victims are also disproportionate.
I moved out of the city, then went back a few years later. I was amazed at all of the black men just standing around all the time in the middle of a work day. I guess I took them for granted when I lived there. What are they doing? I know some are selling drugs, but not all. It is absolutely amazing. They don’t look poor – well fed, well dressed. I’m not talking about street people. And some are white or Hispanic. It occurred to me how where I live people can’t do that. Not necessarily because it is wrong. There is just too much to do. There are responsibilities.
There were jobs. There were schools. But these guys were just not interested. They had no reason to be.
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Victoria #38:
How did I put words in your mouth?
When I said “pretty much what John Rowe said,” I meant that his post #35 sums up my response to your post #34 with regard to the ratio of “eligible” men to women among blacks.
When I said, “you interpreted my ~explanation~ for behavior an ~excuse~ for that behavior,” I was referring to your question:
“Are you making excuses for rampant sex, and pregnancy, whether it results in abortion or many children which are supported through WELFARE?”
from post #34. Why would you ask that question unless you thought I was doing exactly that: making excuses?
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Good points as usual, Amphipolis.
Sad, though.
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Point one: One of the fallacies our gov’t is perpetuating, too, is that the social safety net programs are something we will be able to continue to afford.
We’re training generations of people to look to gov’t for help, protection, and answers. Gov’t will not be able to meet the need as this population grows, and that failure will not be met with gratitude for what was provided, but anger for what will not be provided in the future.
Young men used to know that they were vital to their families and then their children.
Point two: I think it’s possible that the child labor laws may have contributed a bit to this feeling of entitlement.
We live in the country where our boys can already chop wood, mow grass, etc. They have chores which help our family save money, and free their dad up to make money. In the cities, what can boys/young men do legally to help their families in an economically productive way?
They have school. If they’re not interested, or are doing badly, what else is there for them to do to contribute? They grow up not being needed in a productive sense. Much better that they have after-school jobs (other than running drugs…).
Just something that struck me reading through all this. By the time they are older teenagers, they are already used to being “kept”.
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MomOf5 #44:
I agree with you that in many ways the current framework of social assistance creates incentives for the wrong behaviors. However, other countries seem to be able to make it work. They can “afford” assistance frameworks that are more comprehensive than ours. So what makes them different? Why can they “afford” it and not us?
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Public assistance is predicated on a public standard of acceptable behavior. Which we lack or which social workers cannot impose in cultures where standards of conduct are lacking.
I recall the uproar which greeted David Duke the ex-Klanner turned “conservative Republican”. He raled against “welfare illegitimacy” and it was taken to be code language for racism.
The underclass is real. Interestingly, the same destructive social pathologies we see here in the USA among poor blacks is present in England among that country’s largely homogeneous white population.
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Sawgunner #46:
That begs the question: why (and how) is the U.S. culturally defective in such a way that its assistance programs are abused at a higher level than similar programs in other countries.
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Perhaps because it punishes marriage in the needs testing for assistance? And in the tax code?
Some people are shacking up rather than marrying because to marry means to lose entitlements that singles can get.
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Does poverty cause social pathology, or does social pathology cause poverty?
Maybe a better question would be – has massive direct government assistance to the poor over several generations increased or decreased social pathology?
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