“Sexting”: Not as harmless as it seems
It was inevitable: Teens — and grownups I happen to know — using their cell phones for mutual titillation. USA Today yesterday ran a story that quantified the practice known as “sexting.”
About a third of young adults 20-26 and 20% of teens say they’ve sent or posted naked or semi-naked photos or videos of themselves, mostly to be “fun or flirtatious,” a survey finds.
A third of teen boys and 40% of young men say they’ve seen nude or semi-nude images sent to someone else; about a quarter of teen girls and young adult women have. And 39% of teens and 59% of those ages 20-26 say they’ve sent suggestive text messages.
When I was in high school, kids passed suggestive, handwritten notes. No pictures, of course, because noone wanted the folks at the PhotoMart to see them naked. Now, digital and cell phone technology has created a dangerous new kind of privacy: First, it enables kids, especially those without strong moral guidance, to unthinkingly violate themselves, revealing things they will later regret. Second, while teens can conceal their digital indiscretions from parents simply by pressing “delete,” they can’t control the future use of any sex-talk and/or images they send out.
High school senior Mayron Gezaw, 17, of Fairfax, Va., says a nude photo that she heard a girl sent her boyfriend showed up on her phone last year. “The whole class was sharing it by the end of the day. … The guys said, ‘She’s so hot.’ The girls were more like, ‘I feel sorry for the girl,’ or they just lost all respect” for her.
The truth is, guys, too, still lose respect for a girl like that. I hear my sons and their friends talking about it. As modern and high-tech as we think we are, sin still has its natural consequences — even among kids.














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back to top35 Comments to ““Sexting”: Not as harmless as it seems”
Never overestimate the stupidity of teenagers. I’ve heard adolescence is a form of mental illness.
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And sometime in the future, their children may be able to find Mom and Dad on the internet. Surprise!
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Wow … you mean people are using communications technology to communicate? And the communications don’t all measure up to some people’s opinions of what’s proper?
Stop the presses!
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And the communications don’t all measure up to some people’s opinions of what’s proper?
SteveG,
I doubt anybody is surprised by this, but it’s perfectly fine to be appalled. There are a lot of WONDERFUL things about technology in the world to communication and information, but that comes at a great cost. One of the costs is that immature people (kids) have greater opportunity to do stupid things that will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
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SteveG. if it is my kid or my kid’s friends, my opinion of what is proper will matter.
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I don’t think I would have wanted to be able to come across Grandma’s picture on the internet – I just don’t think a lot of teens look ahead more than a few moments.
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Actually, when we’re talking about pictures of teenagers, I agree.
I was more thinking of text only, or any exchanges between adults. This may be one of the rare instances when I spoke too hastily.
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Teens who transmit their own pix should be subject to some type of punishment. Any type of porn featuring minors should not be available on the net.
In a way, given the non-stigmatized celeb status given to Jenny McCarthy or Anna Nicole Smith, I’m not surprised that sexting isn’t more widely accepted among the yewts.
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The focus of a couple of posters on “pix of grandma” or “ma” becoming available is interesting.
I guess the assumptions are that no Ma or Grandma would make current pix available and that Ma or Grandma would be ashamed of what they USED TO look like? Or just that the pics would put the lie to whatever image of chasteness and “propriety” they currently project?
I have a 60+ friend who has over the years taken a regular series of nude photos of herself. Some are pretty stark, others more artistic. I wouldn’t call any of them pornographic. She has had them digitized and reviews them every so often; she says they provoke some interesting memories and enhance her sense of self.
She also says she is going to give them to her granddaughter in her will. Not her grandsons, mind you, but her granddaughter. She also claims she really wouldn’t mind if her grandsons saw them if they wanted to.
I think it’s kind of a neat idea.
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Arcadia,
What you described is a very different situation, and a bit odd I might add.
What we’re talking about are teenagers taking nude photographs of themselves without considering the consequences. You might be thinking “but what is there to be ashamed of?”
This is not about a discomfort with nudity. It’s about children who are not mature enough to think long-term. I see it every day–kids don’t realize how public and permanent the World Wide Web is. It is unfortunate that a 14 year-old’s split second lapse of judgment could haunt her for the rest of her life. Those pictures can never be destroyed.
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As Joe Rogan’s character on “Newsradio” said, “You can’t take pictures off the Internet. It’s like trying to take pee out of the pool.”
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Go ahead, say it!
This sleezy example of “defining deviancy down” is attributable to Wm Jefferson Clinton. You know I’m right even if I myself have a hard time believing the lengths this man’s influence has been able to reach.
On a more serious note, as others have noted the image becomes more or less public property once it’s thrust out onto the internet.
But what teenagers understand that?
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Sorry, Arcadia, but I do think it’s bizarre for a woman to take nude pictures of herself through the years, show them to friends, and will them to someone. I’d be horrified to inherit such a “present.” But this is at least a grown woman.
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Never overestimate the stupidity of teenagers. I’ve heard adolescence is a form of mental illness
I have lived with and worked with various ethnic groups and other forms of diversity without much difficulty. OK, with evangelical Christians, I admit, things are a little shaky at the moment. I haven’t really had that much contact with Islamic suicide bombers, or you probably wouldn’t be hearing from me, either. For that matter I don’t get along with bosses that well.
Aside from those tiny exceptions, I do diversity pretty well and I think I am fairly low on prejudices.
However, teenagers…I have a lot of prejudice.
They are capable of having sexual relations? Why kind of God would design creatures and make them capable of sexual activity in their adolescent period?
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14. A friend of mine put it this way; Teenagers; so pretty, so horny, so stupid. What a bad combination.
I hope that second word doesn’t get me banned.
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I guess I just don’t get bothered by stuff like this. Haven’t teenagers always done things that shocked their elders? If I had a dollar for every time one of my friends said “We never did anything that bad when I was a teenager!” …
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I can’t resist. I have to add my little contribution (~2 cents).
When I was a teen (and pre-teen), my friends and I did incredibly insane things. A small sampling includes (1) Moving a still-operational outhouse back away from the hold in the dark so that when it was used, the poor victim would step into the pit. (2) On a dare, holding a lady-finger firecracker in my hand while it went off. (3) Riding around in a pickup with four other guys on Halloween with rifles shooting holes in stop signs and other highway signs. These were incredibly stupid and dangerous things, but the thought that someone might get hurt, especially ourselves, barely crossed our minds. I say this to demonstrate that the failure to think of potential consequences is a given with teenagers and preteens.
However, as a teenager, every peer I knew would never, ever think of exposing any part of their body in a picture. Our view of what it meant to be chaste precluded even thinking about it. Every teenage sexual encounter, even rumored, was widely condemned by even the teenagers. Teenage pregnancy was rare and hidden at all costs (the girl was sent to relatives for a quarter or semester and if there was talk, no one I knew would acknowledge the reason). There was one incident when I was a senior in High School where a girl, passing out drunk, either permitted, or was unable to stop, a picture taken of a portion of her anatomy. It was passed around the school, of course. Her family took her out of school and she finished High School in another town.
My point in sharing all of this is as follows: The formerly powerful virtue of chastity in teenage culture has been destroyed for many of today’s teenagers. Couple that with the clear inability to think seriously of consequences or that exposure will happen to them and you have the current situation. The only way to save these kids from themselves is to reassert and support the virtue of chastity. That can only come from parents and the local community institutions. For many communities, there is zero or no chance that this will happen short of a re-awakening.
I am diligent praying that such will occur. Our culture is destroying innocence and joy in our youth and it is sad.
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Honestly? I’d much prefer teens sexted each other instead of going around shooting guns out of a moving vehicles. I know that must be incredibly uninformed of me….
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RPN, you mean the sexting is keeping them from shooting at each other? Then I’m all for it.
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RPN, your comment’s tongue-in-cheek false dilemma makes light of a very serious issue. I know of an adolescent boy who was expelled for this kind of thing. Is that what you would say to the parents of the girls who got the unwelcome photos? Honestly?
Teens do all sorts of stupid things. These things are not necessarily harmless. It is not helpful for adults to have a cavalier attitude about teen sex. Can anyone here say that (unmarried) teen sex is a good thing?
The phone is not the issue, although parents should be aware of potential problems. Suggestive texting is not the issue. My wife and I have done it. Teaching young people what is appropriate, and expecting them to comply – that is the issue.
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alright, to start off, im 17 years old, and i want you all to know that there are still some teens out there who stay away from stupid stuff like this. ive had a cell phone for about 2 years (hence the poor use of capitalization and simple grammer which comes from a lot of texting) and have never used it for anything like this, although, i have friends that do i dont find it that hard to turn away when one of my friends says “hey, check this out!”. and, i would never send or ask for any pictures thats would cause me to sin, its hard enough to fight that temptation as it is.
i think i owe the ability to resist these kinds of things comes from being raised as a Christian by Christian parents, and having the understanding that these things are wrong. so therefore, i submit that the real problem isnt that ‘teens will be teens’, the problem is what the teens have been taught (or not taught) the whole time they have been growing up…perhaps if teens are taught what sex is supposed to be instead of teaching them how to ‘do it’ safely then we wouldnt be reading articles like this….just a thought….
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Kbells and Amphi-
My comment is in response to the comment immediately above it, where Dr. Dave is reminiscing about his youthful innocence. Then, sexuality was taboo, however a group of them thought it perfectly reasonable to go around shooting things from a moving vehicle. I would not suggest it’s an either-or proposition.
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OK – sorry, and thanks for pointing out the context I obviously missed.
14, Random Name, above – Why kind of God would design creatures and make them capable of sexual activity in their adolescent period?
Why does our modern world coddle them so they emotionally mature so late? Teens are irresponsible by OUR design, not God’s.
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RPN(22): My comment is in response to the comment immediately above it, where Dr. Dave is reminiscing about his youthful innocence. Then, sexuality was taboo, however a group of them thought it perfectly reasonable to go around shooting things from a moving vehicle. I would not suggest it’s an either-or proposition.
I was not reminiscing about youthful innocence. You totally missed the point either because I did not make myself clear or you have an unfortunate set of filters on your input side.
Let me try again. Youth are not innocent in any real sense of the term. We knew what we were doing was wrong, harmful, and dangerous. We just did not consider the possible consequences of our actions. No teenager does at the time they are committing acts like those I described. They do it out of exuberance and an immature ability to do rational analysis (not all teenagers are this way, but a huge majority are). Some don’t reach the highest level of cognitive reasoning until they are well into their 20’s.
Thus, like JBLANC states in comment #21, if teenagers are not taught virtues (like chastity, respect for property, empathy, etc.) and it is not raised to the level of social stigmatization for violation of the “good” and “true,” they will do stupid and irrational things. Not because they are innocent (far from it), but because they are naturally and unintentionally cruel and selfish hedonists and opportunists.
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#23
Maybe. Maybe in the early evolution of our species (which I think happened and most here do not) it was useful for for young humans to be able to reproduce before their life in a short brutish world was often cut short.
Now, with few predators (except their peers) stalking them, they have lots of time to sext.
Last time I said the paste was not going back into the toothpaste tube I confused somebody. Perhaps this time I will get banned.
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Random,
Ah, but if it were useful then, why have we not evolved to a later physical maturity? If anything, females are maturing earlier than than records indicated they used to mature.
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Good Point, Cameron. Longitudinal research on age of onset of puberty shows the following:
1. Analysis of cross-cultural data shows that girls undergo puberty significantly earlier in polygynous societies and in nominally monogamous societies with a high incidence of divorce (and thus a higher incidence of serial polygyny). From this perspective, the average age of puberty has dropped precipitously in the United States in recent decades because the divorce rate (and thus the incidence of remarriage for men, that is, serial polygyny) has increased dramatically. Recall that most Americans are in polygynous marriages. NOTE: It may also be due to cultural changes that permit more sexually oriented contact between preteen children.
2. Puberty occurs earlier in the generations born during and just after a war. These are studies of European and Japanese children after WWII, but the findings are confirmed by studies in Bosnia in the late nineties.
3. Stress within a family can cause early onset of puberty in female children.
There are a lot of cock-eyed theories as to why this occurs. I prefer the one that suggests reduced barriers to sexual play in preteens for various reasons. In war zones, the need to replenish those lost causes the culture to relax its standards of chastity. In the case of the U.S., it is loss of the societal standard of chaste behavior in children and teenagers.
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Cameron … because evolution rarely leads to changes of that magnitude that quickly. But even if it could, traits that don’t prevent genes from perpetuating won’t necessarily go away.
One reason obesity has become so epidemic is that our bodies expect us to burn a lot more calories than most of us do now. We’re not working in the fields all day, so we consume much more than we expend. But even though many obese people die young, their genes remain in the gene pool because they usually live long enough to have some children. The liability of obesity is not great enough for it to have evolutionary effects.
Earlier puberty isn’t necessary anymore, but it also isn’t harmful from a species-survival standpoint, so there’s no reason to expect evoltuionary forces to change it.
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SteveG,
All well and good–but how do you explain the *earlier* maturity? Seems like it’s going in the wrong direction for an evolution-type.
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True, many teens don’t consider the consequences of their actions, and the “I’m invincible” mentality is prevalent. Perhaps, watching too much of immoral shows on TV contributed to behaviour of this type. See the following link:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7707664.stm
For those Christian teenagers raised by godly parents (such as JBlanc and myself), the desire to be this stupid is usually not there, or such temptations are at least repulsed. Good parents, good friends, a good church and others contribute to the avoidance of certain certain incredibly unintelligent and morally reprehensible actions.
Casting Crowns’ song, Slow Fade, should be listened to and the lyrics should be heeded by these teens.
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All well and good–but how do you explain the *earlier* maturity? Seems like it’s going in the wrong direction for an evolution-type.
Changes happen, not always for any apparent reason. I have no idea why, although I’m sure some medical professionals do.
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31(SteveG): Changes happen, not always for any apparent reason. I have no idea why, although I’m sure some medical professionals do.
I’m not at all surprised that you are struggling for an explanation. What is clear from this line of evidence and the genome’s speed of adaptation to foreign invasion by viri (SP?) and bacteria is that the genome is designed to adjust automatically to environmental stresses. Exactly what one would expect if the genome is a beautifully designed self-replicating and self-correcting computer program.
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Physical maturity may happen earlier, due to better nutrition. The unnecessary evolutionary arguments behind this run from the silly to the scary with hints of some people being more evolved than others.
But that does not explain why modern teens seem to be unable to handle responsibilities previous generations of teens took for granted. That is nurture, not nature.
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Dr. Dave: I’m not “struggling” at all. The question was, why are humans reaching sexual maturity at younger ages, when our social system is set up to discourage expression of it until older ages.
Answer: Could be a combination of many things making it happen, but there’s no reason to expect “evolution” to do anything about it. Until traits begin affecting a species’ ability to reproduce — whether the effective is positive or negation — the forces that shape evolutionary change are not in play.
Maturing sexually at 11 instead of 13, then, has no impact on the individual’s ability to procreate. There’s no evolutiuonary pressure for the age to rise.
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Er … should have typed “negative,” not “negation,” in #34.
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