Next of kin
Tina Turpin’s husband has a job. He notifies “next of kin” (NOK) of the deaths of their loved ones in uniform. Anyone who has seen Saving Private Ryan knows the hardest part of Steven Spielberg’s World War II film is the shot from behind of the widowed Mrs. Ryan crumbling with dignity to the floor of her front porch at the approach to her farmhouse of a chaplain and military officer.
Mrs. Turpin’s husband’s line of work prompted this poem from her (reprinted here with her permission):
Her World Stops Today
No
Don’t open the door.I cannot straighten the silver cross over his left pocket
My hands tremble, knowing the message he carries.
“It’s okay, my jacket will cover. . . .”
No
It is crookedI do not know her name.
Only, there are children.
Three.
One is a baby.
Is she holding him now?
Has she made him breakfast?
Is she driving, cooking, talking on the phone,
To his mother perhaps.
I do not know her,
But I know what she dreads.
No
Not that knock
Not my door.
Please don’t open it, don’t be home
For just a little while longer.
God, let the children grow up
With Daddy.
Let her rest on his chest one more time.No
Now she probably weeps in my husband’s arms,
Tears and cheek resting on that crooked cross.
No. No. No.
Please God don’t make her,
Don’t make me
Open
That door.
I was thinking that if Mr. Turpin has such courage to deliver bad news, why don’t I have more courage to deliver good news?




Learn it! Speak it! Live it!
Bring Christmas to a child in need!








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back to top8 Comments to “Next of kin”
I don’t know what Mr. Turpin’s rank is, but he should be a general. How often we just see people approach in business and we do just the opposite — we smile and reach out our hand to welcome them in. Mr. Turpin never gets that.
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If we wrre to reallky honor Turpin’s courage, we would work hard to make sure that he has much less work to do.
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I read the opening chapter of Tom Wolfe’s The Right Stuff as a young Navy wife and nearly lost my lunch. When that car drives through a military neighborhood, everybody stops.
I don’t think CACO officers do the jobs alone, however–they usually take at least a chaplain and perhaps another military member.
Both of our friends who died on active duty were not in war zones–and oddly enough, were both chaplains. One went down in a helicopter on a training mission with 14 other marines. The other had a heart attack while on humanitarian aid to Indonesia following the tsunmai. Their deaths still hurt.
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We had to tell our daughter that her boyfriend had died in a car accident along with another of their friends. She was at work and was planning on going to his home in a few hours, because he would be home from a trip. I tried to tell her and could not get the words out. Her father, who was fortunately home that day from work, finally told her. I will never forget how she fell into our arms and we had to half-carry her out. Memories like this do not fade fast if ever.
My uncle was a commanding officer and had to bring the news to a family friend that her husband had died on base in an accident. This was a peace time accident. I’m sure he has never forgotten that house call. I remember her saying that she at first thought it was so nice that he would stop by, before she saw his face and realized the truth. I know she appreciated his caring visit, even though she hated the purpose.
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Ki –
What a tragic stories – my heart goes out to you and your family and all those who suffer such terrible loss -
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Andree, when we deliver The Good News we also have to tell the bad news. If you tell me the Gospel you have to tell me that all my own spurious attempts at holy righteous living are a woeful inadequate mockery of what a Holy God demands. We due to our fallen sin nature can never attain the purity He requires for us to enter into fellowship with Him. Apart from Christ I should be consigned to hell apart from God. In that sense I am no better than a Charles Manson or Adolf Hitler.
While some might see freedom from a works-based religion as Great News, those who point to their mighty works with pride would no doubt view it as Bad News and become angry at you the Messenger when they truly hate the Message and He who sent it!
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Sawgunner, your post reminds me of the poem My Name is Ozymandius.
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I suppose it is good that our hearts and minds don’t let us live constantly with the pains of death all around us. But I agree that I am so callously reluctant to share the GOODNEWS that is the true balm for the bad news that is devouring every person without Christ.
Knocking on “that door” is both a heavy sorrow and a great privilege for someone filled with the love of Christ.
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