Something Light: What’s in a name?
By now, many of you have probably heard about poor little Adolf Hitler Campbell, the New Jersey three-year-old whose birthday was nearly ruined when the local ShopRite refused to decorate a party cake with his name. Of course, lots of people have argued that Adolf’s parents are ultimately at fault for having saddled their tot with such an infamous “given” name.
Given names are an interesting project in parenting. I went to school with a girl whose parents badly wanted a son and had their hearts set on naming him Zane. When they received a daughter instead, they named her Zanetta.
Zanetta Brown, that was her name.
Last names, of course, can’t be helped. I served in the Navy with a chief whose last name was Fagut. Yes, pronounced that way.
Over the years, I’ve become something of name buff. I even have a file of catchy names on my computer, having collected them in case I ever get around to writing the Great American Novel. For example, my boys play soccer with a kid whose last name is Cairo, as in the city in Egypt. I think that would make a cool first name for a character.
Other real-life names I’ve collected include Cozy Marks (an associate of a woman I was writing about); Tucker Bounds (the spokesman for McCain 2008); Trip Galloway (a kid my college roommate knew from school); and Trig Dowrimple (a high school vice principal I heard of once.)
My own high school vice principal’s name was Dick Holder. I can write that here because I am absolutely not making it up.
What interesting real-life names have you run across and to whom did they belong?
Beware: I may steal them for my files.




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back to top69 Comments to “Something Light: What’s in a name?”
Yesterday at work I saw that one of our young female patients is named Sky Blue Morningstar. I smiled — and then thought it’s really kind of pretty.
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When my son was on a new baseball team all the parents would yell, “C’mon Joseph” or “Way to go Joe” or “Now Joey, Now!” Depending on the action. So we did the same with Harrison. “C’mon Har” Harry, Harrison, whatever we had time for. The team mom slipped between me and another mom. “His name is Harrison. We don’t call him Harry.” Ok we wondered, “Why not?” “His last name is Weiner.”
You can’t make this stuff up. His parents only wanted him to survive until middle school I’m thinking. Isn’t there a point where this become child abuse?
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I used to work for a man who had married a woman named Candy Kane. She had loved the name, and collected candy cane themed Christmas decorations.
There used to be a man at our company named Shad Brook. I have no idea whether shad live in brooks, but every time I saw his name I thought of a fish.
My favorite was a friend whose last name was Kukuk, pronounced like “cuckoo.” Her next door neighbor’s last name was Kloch – of course pronounced “clock.”
I’ve played around with an idea for a short story of a neighborhood where the Goodes move in next to the Lucks (I had a co-worker whose last name was Luck), and people think that will mean good luck for the neighborhood, but everything goes wrong. Then the Moores try to move in next to the Goodes, and they can’t understand why no one wants them there.
In the cemetery where my grandparents are buried, there is another family plot nearby, of the Seaman family. I’ve always thought that would be a ver difficult last name to have, at least for a kid in school.
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My wife went to school with someone named “Crystal Shanda Lear”, as well as someone named “Nancy Anne Seancy” (not sure if I spelled those exactly right, though… if you’re reading this Crystal or Nancy, my apologies).
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Isn’t Colt McCoy the best name for a quarterback ever?
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I went to high school with the basketball coach Dick Fick and a girl named Terra Haute. I once had a student named Christian Nunn. And I know a woman who after she married became Roburta Burd.
Other funnies are names that fit jobs such as a college food director with the last name Gullet, a clarinet teacher with the last name Reed and a music teacher with the last name Music. Do any of you have more of these.
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Hubby worked with a guy who almost became a Gynecologist. His name was Phil Free. There is a local politician here in Alabama named Twinkle Cavanaugh, I heard an ad on the radio by a car salesman named Jack Ashly. A friend of mine named Christina almost married a guy whose last name was Christina. She didn’t even realize she was about to become Christina Christina until she looked at the wedding invitation. That is not why they broke up.
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Growing up in northern NY, I knew of a preacher named Thomas Thomas. And went to elementary school with a guy named Joe Bleau (pronounced Blow).
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A very attractive college classmate was named Brook Enda Forrest.
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Speaking of Adolph Hitler Campbell, I know a Napoleon Capdac(sp?). We called him Nap, Nap Capdac.
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Adios #4: Yes!
I’ve heard of a man whose name was Weldon Rumproast.
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How about the Hill family in my home town? Forest, Windy and Rocky.
What drives me crazy is parents who give their kids a unique spelling–not realizing they’ve condemned the kids to spelling their names for the rest of their lives.
Make that Michelle with TWO Ls, please.
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In Texas there was a cattle route for driving longhorns up to the railheads in Missouri (from Mo to the slaughterhouse). The trail was used by cattlemen named Mr Goodnight and Mr Loving. It was–you guessed it!–the Goodnight Loving trail.
And a pinup model from Oklahoma several years back had the name Candy Loving. Sounded like she should have been a character in a James Bond film.
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This is one dangerous thread. I’ve heard a million of these stories in my lifetime. My favorite story is of a woman who, upon having her baby at a county hospital, wanted to name her Placenta because she thought it sounded pretty. The nurses were horrified and tried like the dickens to talk her out of it, explaining to her exactly what she was naming her child. They actually showed her the afterbirth. But the woman insisted, saying, “That’s the nicest name I’ve heard in a long time”. So somewhere out there (unless the young lady has changed it) there’s a young woman walking around with that name.
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For many years Texas had a great Congressman named Dick Armey.
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Michelle, I’ve always thought two Ls was standard for Michelle, with one L being the exception. Have you had much trouble with people getting it wrong?
Around here there is a dentist named Dr. Payne. Really.
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Years ago, my dad had a student in his high school English classroom in rural Maine named Yellow Light Breen. He had another student whose first name was Seven Star. She may have been Yellow Light’s sister, but I don’t remember now.
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While in college I had a sociology class with a girl named Misty Knight.
And in my small college town there was a set of female identical twins who worked at the Wendys. They stood out because they were both about 6′1″, and their names were Tequila and Tekila. I don’t know the last names, since those don’t make it onto the Wendy’s name tags.
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As a teacher I have seen some odd names. But when I was younger, I met a man who went by his middle name: Snow (named after an aunt with that last name). His mother tells of going to the store in the summer when Snow was little. He would wander off on his own, so she would have to go looking for him. She laughed as she told of going around the store calling out his name, and all the people going to the window to see if there really was snow in July.
What is worse, is this guy has given his children odd names: Sunny Snow (we called him slush) and Crystal Rain.
I had a math teacher (geometry) whose name was Rule.
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11. Hill was my maiden name. I always tried to get someone in the family to name their kid Winston Church.
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And then there was the youth evangelist at summer camp whose name was Royal Blue. He said he had a sister named Midnight and another sibling (i cannot remember the gender) who was Navy Blue.
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Norwood McTootle. This was a guy whose name I entered in the computer when I worked as a records clerk. Very P.G. Wodehouse, I always thought.
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I grew up in a town in Idaho where the local mortuary was owned by and named after two men “Peck and Packham”.
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Let’s see for the longest time their was a man in our town who was listed in the phone book first name short for Harold and last name that of our current president.
I once opened an account for a young lady who pronounced her name Sha thade and spelled it sh*thead.
I know a guy who became a doctor…would you go to Dr. Rich Hatchett?
My ex-husband’s cousin has a daughter named Candace, for years she was Candy Cotten. (EX-H thought it would be funny to name a son Peter, thankfully we had a daughter.)
My priest for many years was Dick Schmidt…I never will forget him talking about going through life with that name and how all the kids figured out if you crossed out every other letter in his last name it spelled a bad word.
I also have an UNCLE Beverly. I remember thinking something was really weird the first time I heard it as a womans name.
My maiden name was Black. For many years I was referred to as “that little Black girl” Talk about an identity crisis. Of course the oddest name of all was my mother’s…Oledta. Thankfully my parents decided to give me my grandmother’s middle name but I am glad I was a girl because I would have been Kim either way.
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Oh Kbells, down here in the southern part of the state we had some politicians named Jerkowicz and Jockisch (I think that is how it is spelled anyway it was pronounced jock itch) There is also a gynocologist around named Dr. Koch.
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And then there was the youth evangelist at summer camp whose name was Royal Blue. He said he had a sister named Midnight and another sibling (i cannot remember the gender) who was Navy Blue.
I had a guy in a couple of my college classes named Golden Brown. I also know a Chinese family who named their three daughters Christine, Christina, and Christiana.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned a certain Ponzi scheme mastermind with the last name of Madoff. It seems to me that anyone who would invest their money with a guy named Madoff can’t be very smart.
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My niece was born in a railroad town and name Cassie Jones (pronounce Casey). There was a write up in their local paper. He named his son, Gerry John Paul. This son always went by John Paul to keep him from being mixed up with his father. We all forgot he had a different first name. He did too, but when he went into the service they insisted he go by his legal first name. He got into much trouble, because he could not remember to answer to Gerry. He legally changed his name, when he got out of the service, back to John Paul.
There was once a Bambi Luv listed in our local paper.
My brother was married to two Geri’s. I don’t remember if they spelled their names the same. Since his name is Tom, he could always identify with the Tom & Gerry glasses at Christmas time and the cartoon.
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The insurance company my wife worked for insured a couple named Dover, Eileen and Ben.
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I was inexplicably ill in high school–my first neurologist was Dr. Payne and he sent me to a neuropthamologist–Dr. Specter.
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Kbells, my maiden name was Hill too. I have a cousin named Sandra — her parents were adamant about her NOT being nicknamed Sandy. Winston Church is a great one, lol. (Or Winston Kirk for a more subtle kick?). I saw in a magazine once that Hill made the crossover to a *first* name — at least for one little boy.
My mother’s middle name is Mae and I’ve tried to get dh to agree to April Mae for a girl’s name. To no avail.
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heard about this one from a coworker: La-a (pronounced Ladasha). apparently, the child’s mother made it clear that the “dash is not silent!”
i still can’t figure out how she’ll fill out paperwork, and what about standardized tests? there’s no bubble for a dash.
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My father went to school with Harold and Mathilda, Harry Hair and Mattie Hair. I went to school with Candy Apple. There was a girl in church, April Green. A friend of my parents had Lucy in class, Luz Balz. I taught Nikita Kruschev Hendricks. He had two brothers, Patrice Lumumba Hedricks and Fidel Castro Hendricks. My son named his second daughter Rain, Rain Buckles.
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Lest I forget: I have a friend who got chuckles while in Germany, since his name translates to “fat cow” in German.
Then there was a guy I worked with whose full name was Lester, but it got shortened, so he was Les Moore.
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There’s a computer science teacher at my college. Last name Head. Same first name as Nixon.
You can imagine how that went for some students.
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I knew a woman whose maiden name was Christina Kirk (deliberate: Christ in the Church). A man from a musical family whose parents gave him “A” for a middle initial so that he’d be A Capella. A little tiny woman (well under five feet) with the gorgeously fitting name of Florence Birdsong. (Sorry, Lynn, she’s already taken for a book I’m writing, though I’m giving her a different first name.) I had neighbor kids named Kelly Green (Mom said that’s a color of green) and Charlie Brown. One year when I was in Bible college, the student body included Faith, Hope, and Love–unrelated, and Love was a boy. (His brother was Joy. They were Asian.) We had a new pastor come to a church as we were leaving it, with a daughter named Charity Ward–like the free treatment at a hospital. And yes, I too know of a boy whose name is pronounced Shi-teed but spelled a little differently. My brother has gotten letters from a boy reader of his books, a boy named Aslan.
In childhood, my best friend’s sister was called Gay; for some reason she now goes by Gayle. We had a customer at the drugstore in Sun City AZ whose last name was Fagg. And some co-workers: One who’d gone by Tammy until Tammy Faye Baker became famous, when she started going by her whole first name, and became Tamela Baker; John Hinkley (no c); and one who used a different e-mail “pattern” than most of us, including his middle initial and not just his first initial and last name–with the middle initial he was afsholes.
And I had a junior high teacher whose name was Jesberger, which in middle-school-eze translated to Cheeseburger (sorry, Lynn, that name is also taken); right before him in the Phoenix phonebook was another great name: Jerzykowski (Jersey cow).
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“What drives me crazy is parents who give their kids a unique spelling–not realizing they’ve condemned the kids to spelling their names for the rest of their lives.”
I know a guy who complained about that too. His name was Jon. Heh. He married a girl named Johnna, after her father, John, but they spelled it with an “H” that time…
Kinda ironic yes?
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In the first paragraph, I meant A Capella had A as a first intial.
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31 – What a nutcase mother.
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One year when I was in Bible college, the student body included Faith, Hope, and Love–unrelated, and Love was a boy.
My kids go to school with a boy whose parents are African immigrants. They gave their son a poignantly simple name: “Good.”
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Oh, I almost forgot about my high school friend, Eric Derrick.
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We had a Nigerian guy in our company called Aristotle Katanga.
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A girl from my college was named velvet Couch.
Twins in Joplin were Nova and Chevelle.
Customers at a bank I worked at (they were brothers) Cord, Dant, and Slade.
My daughter has a girl on her basketball team named Moonstar (we live in Asheville- nough said).
Upon the birth of his son my friend tried to name his child (not having discussed it with his wife) Diogenes. After much discussion the wife won that arguement.
I know of more, but I will have to post later.
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39 – Lynn, were they Nigerian? I was told that Chi means good in Igbo, and a lot of Nigerian parents give their children names with Chi in them – Chiawotu, Chioma, etc.
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My sister was friends with a girl named Cherry Wood. I also knew of a kid named Ray, last name Dar.
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I have a family member named Roberta who married a man named Robert. Also, I have friends who went to a dentist named Pane. I’m not sure whether he spelled it P-a-n-e or whether it really was p-a-i-n ….
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We had a new pastor come to a church as we were leaving it, with a daughter named Charity Ward–like the free treatment at a hospital.
That reminds me–I know a teacher named Charity Purse.
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Once we were having a community meeting in a preschool and on one of the cubbies was a child’s name that took a while to figure out and that I haven’t been able to forget: Dimarkchrissy – say it out loud a few times and you’ll get it. I feel sorry for the child and for quite a few others whose names are on this thread.
My parents were careful when naming me to make sure my initials would not be a problem. My name was Elizabeth and my initials were ES. But then I started going by Beth because it was much shorter to write on all my school papers. So my initials were BS for many years until I went back to using Elizabeth and then later got married.
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Had a highschool classmate named Joe Kerr.
Locally, we have a Bury & Roberts Funeral Home, and a funeral home chain called Amigone. (Yes, you are gone… )
The most unusual name I’ve seen lately is a little boy at my daughter’s school: Anaximander
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Double L is standard spelling, but people always check anyway.
My kids’ orthodontists were Hammer and Hook, and when they had their wisdom teeth out I chose Dr. Chu (Chew).
I’ve only known two Pennys in my time and both were skinny women married to men named Les!
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Lynn, I knew someone whose last name was Good; he always claimed that in spite of original sin, he was born Good.
I went to school with a woman named Guinever who married a man whose middle name was Arthur. I attended college at the beginning of the Bulls reign. One classmate married and had twin boys, Michael and Jordan.
My first “real” job was at a drugstore. My boss was a pharmacist with the last name of Wright. I went home and told my sister, “I think I’ve met Mr. Wright!” She was excited until I told her he was already married and that was just his last name.
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Michelle, most of the Michelles I know under thirty or so just have one L. I don’t know why parents don’t just stick with the “standard” spelling in such cases. (But then, “Cheryl” is the spelling of probably three out of four of us, and people nearly always spell my name wrong. “Cherly” is actually what I get most commonly, but also “Sheryl” and all sorts of variations.)
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Being a girl my own name, Dale, is sort of unusual (named after my mom and dad, I have both of their middle names). But I always thought of it as a pretty cool name. until at a cousin’s wedding a woman who I had met earlier approached me and requested that I repeat my name. When I had done so she nodded in recognition and commented nonchalantly “Oh yes now I remember, I knew it was one of those weird names.” Ouch.
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I named one of my daughters, Theresa, while my older uncle had named his daughter, Teresa. He thought I had a strange spelling, but I thought it was the common spelling.
Theresa’s husband was willing to go with their daughter’s name being Ayla, but only with that spelling, instead of the same name with a Finnish spelling. I don’t know if it will make a big difference.
One of my grandson’s has the most common name and one has a name that seems to be only his. Which is better off? The one with a unique name has a mom who had several classmates with her name. In fact, one of her co-workers in a camp, who was also a classmate, not only had the same first name, but the same second name. They decided to call her by the first name followed by a two, signifying she came second to work there. I guess things can get complicated no matter what. It made a cute duet name though, when they went by Sara Too.
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My dad was insisting my name be Petunia. Fortunately, my mom won that arguement.
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During an outreach i went on, my team met an african american man named “Natural.” I thought that one was pretty unique.
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Bianca @ 43: Don’t know if he is Nigerian, or has an African version of the name…we all just know him as “Good.”
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Years ago, when Daughter ran on a girls track team she became friends with a girl from New Mexico named Sandy Beach.
I learned the hard way that, if you give a kid a common name with an unusual spelling, they’ll sulk every time they see a rack of things with kids names on them [pencils, mini license plates, whatever], that of course doesn’t include the “right” spelling of their name. She’s a grown woman and sometimes I’ll still pick up some little doo-dad for her if it’s got her name spelled right, just for a laugh.
My name can be either female or male, depending upon whether or not there’s an i in the middle, but then some females spell it without the i, anyway.
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I went through school with a guy named Franklin Moye. His nickname was “Shack” (this was way before Shaquille O’Neal became a household name). It wasn’t until around graduation time that our class heard his entire name being read: Franklin Delano Roosevelt Moye, Jr.
The “Jr.” is sort of the icing on the cake, don’t ya think?
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I worked for several years with a man named Yu Tay from Vietnam.
If his middle name were “Don”, it would be very funny.
We would also get into a “Who’s on First” situation in meetings. Someone would ask, “Who will do this?” We’d all chime in “Yu will!”
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On April 1, 2001, there was a collision between a United States Navy EP-3E signals reconnaissance aircraft and a People’s Liberation Army Navy J-8II fighter jet that resulted in an international incident between the United States and China.
The name of the Chinese pilot who caused the collision was “Wang Wei” (pronounced Wong Way).
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The name of a hiring manager at a company at which I recently applied is Kandi Valentine.
(I assume that’s her married name, but looking at some of the “given” names here, I suppose that could be hers.)
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I know a young lady named Crystal Glass.
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When I was growing up I knew three brothers named Patrick, Richard, and Charles Butts. The problem was that we all knew them as Pat, Dick, and Chuck Butts. The names Pat and Dick obviously lend themselves to teasing and all the kids simply changed the Ch in Chuck to F making him the butt of endless harassment as well. Needless to say, all three of them seriously resented their parents!
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63 – Poor kids. Do parents like this even care?
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Xion @ 60- I presume you mention the date because it really did not happen?
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I’m surprised that Sawgunner, or someone else didn’t mention that Texas governor Jim Hogg named his daughter Ima. Google it, she was famous in Texas.
My wife did data processing in a high school in Va. An oriental student there had a last name, “Dung”. I understand it was a common name. I suspect he eventually changed it.
She had a boss in an insurance company whose last name was “Silver”. His first was “Sterling”. Silver is not uncommon for a last name. A guy in my flight in the AF was named, Silver, but with a common first name.
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My wife’s first name is “Elvera”. We once thought that she was unique, only one in the world. But discovered it was rather common around the turn of the last century. A Supreme Court Justice had a wife with that name; forgot which one.
She goes by “Vera” wherever she can, but I’ve never gone for it, and our common friends always accept my use of her name. Except my dad never said “Elvera. I always liked the name.
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When I taught high school, there was a kid (I never taught him, but I met his mother a couple of times) whose name was William Barrow. Unfortunately for him, he went by the shortened form “Will.” So, every once in a while you would hear the PA system at school ask for Will Barrow to come to the front office…
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My last name is Pemberton. Before I met my wife, I courted a woman named September and we were close to marriage. She would have been September Pemberton.
The man who teaches my Sunday School Class is David Moss. He and his wife Nettie considered naming one of their boys Peter. Ever hear of a Pete Moss?
The doctors names Payne are hilarious. We have a chiropractor in town named Dr. Payne.
We had a family in our church once whose four daughters are Faith, Joy, Hope and Grace.
Our minister of evangelism and his wife are Brian and Angie. They wanted to have each of their sons to have part of their names and ended up with Brixan, Xavier and Brivan.
A man in my prayer group is named John Bible.
We have a guy at work named Richard Vestal but he goes by the nickname Bud. When they call him on the intercom it sounds like they are calling for Blood Vessel.
A boy I knew in High School was named Worth Worthington.
I go to church with a Michel. She ended up with a single ‘l’ and no ending ‘e’ because her mom was a Japanese immigrant and didn’t know exactly how to spell it. Her husband’s name is Tracy and people who don’t know them except by their printed names (like listed in a church publication) often get their names backwards.
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