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A dose of empathy
Ever since news broke about the tragic death of actor John Travolta’s son, Jett, media reports have swirled with speculation about what caused the teen’s death and whether it was preventable given the family’s adherence to Scientology. ABC News was among the news outlets consulting health experts for their professional opinions, including Dr. Nancy Minshew, a professor of psychiatry and neurology at the University of Pittsburgh. With her background in autism research, ABC News had hoped Minshew’s feedback would “be a boon to our reporting,” but her response was surprising:
“I don’t know what anyone can say about this death, except that it is every parent’s worst nightmare and it is just the beginning. Who cares what caused it?
“The phone call from out of nowhere — the police or the hospital call to ask: ‘Are you the parents of…’ It happens suddenly. It happened to me. My son died in a car wreck six years ago, and I got a call at 4 a.m. You suddenly become a member of a not-so-small club you can never resign from, and that will grieve you until you die. It will cause you to question your most fundamental beliefs.
“I would like to say these parents will feel better soon, but they won’t. Maybe in two years or three they will feel better, but not this year or next year. And not before they question every thing they did or did not do. … Every invasion of their privacy with speculation about cause will cause pain. Empathy would help. That is all I can say about that.”
Thoughts?
back to top10 Comments to “A dose of empathy”
I want to kiss this woman she is so right on. She is as spot on about this as the media has been grotesque in their speculation.
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I am so glad someone addressed this. Right after it happened I was reading about it on Yahoo or some place and they were allowing people to comment. Someone wrote that it was God’s punishment and that they deserved it for being Scientologists. No parent, no matter what their religious belief deserves to lose a child. I imagine they will have a hole in their hearts for the rest of their lives. They deserve our sympathy and prayers and all of us “childcare and medical experts” should just keep our opinions to ourselves.
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I also think this second guessing will bite the media on the butt.
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The media LIKES John Travolta! Can you imagine if they didn’t? They have a snarky relationship with Tom Cruise. What if this had been had happened to him?
None of these doctors who were interviewed spent any time with Jett, alive or dead, so how can they render an opinion? And as physicians, they are educated enough to have said to the media “I won’t comment for you.” They didn’t. They wanted their 15 minutes of fame, too, and at the expense of grieving parents.
This woman is right about the second guessing. I can’t imagine what it is like for the parents of a child. I second guessed myself that I did the right thing for my pets and there’s no comparison. Sometimes, an unfortunate thing like this happens, and it’s nobody’s fault. The boy had a seizure, and he died. His parents would do ANYTHING to undo that, even give up their own lives, I’m sure. And what they get is people cutting them to pieces. I read that Travolta thanked people for all their support. Let’s pray he and his wife keep reading posts like that and are able to ignore the rest.
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I too have lost a child. It has been a little over a year and it still feels like yesterday. However you may feel about Scientology, the thing to remember is that a young man has died. Parents are grieving. God never, ever wants to see his people hurting but it happens and He weeps for us. Times like these should be used to lift families up not tear them down.
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Jakesnickel, my sympathies. Thank you for posting. That can’t be easy.
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Seems to me Travolta could have afforded to have someone (even a non-medically trained attendant) there with his son. I’ve heard of all types of slip and fall injuries. If he collapsed and seized face down in a bathtub it’s not clear from the little I’ve read. A subdural or epidural hematoma would require a strong blow, but I’m not at all suggesting any type of foul play.
If you have a child with a seizure disorder, you are advised ad infinitum to implement all types of precautions
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A neighbor hates prom season. That’s when her high school-aged daughter died. So each year she isolates herself away to avoid seeing gowns and tuxedos.
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janesnickle, my heart goes out to you and I pray I never have to face what you have faced. I have a very food friend who lost her son over 40 years ago. She said it is a pain that gets dull but it never goes away. May God’s grace and strenth be with you.
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Jakesnickel, my sympathy is with you also. A year is nothing for that type of grieving. It took us much longer when my daughter’s boyfriend died at 20 and then my best friend’s daughter at 18 a year and a half later. Though they were not even my own children and we had gone through many other close deaths, none of them compared to those sudden losses. I can only imagine when it is one of your own. I am so grateful that we have a God who understands and cares.
Second guessing does nothing for anyone except add to their grief. People who say “they deserved it because…” do not understand at all who Jesus Christ is and what he did for us.
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