Andrée Seu Peterson on the "Time" cover 
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X-ray vision
My 5-year-old hurt herself on Saturday—not this past Saturday, but the one before that. She was playing in the backyard with her oldest sister, ran hard and tripped (she was being chased), and landed hard on her shoulder with her big sister falling on top of her.
She cried pretty hard and I was concerned, but not exactly sure what to do. I watched her closely for several hours, gave her Tylenol, and frequently asked “how high you can reach?” to get her to move her arm. Eventually she did, and by the end of the night she seemed better.
Fast forward nine days when we realized something was still wrong. I took her to our doctor, who gave her an examination, sent us off for x-rays, and determined she had a fractured clavicle and needed a strap to help get things back the way they should be.
Can you say “Worst parent of the year?” I should have taken her in right away, but I didn’t (and I feel pretty badly about it now). The only thing worse than living in denial is neglect.
It makes me wonder what other areas of life I notice initially but let go, thinking that over time things will probably just get better—cleaning out the cats’ litter box, for example, or letting a child’s attitude problem continue because, frankly, I’m tired of dealing with it.
Here’s what I’m finally beginning to understand: Denial and neglect don’t make things better; they just put off what eventually has to be done. Dealing with the litter box is as much a pain the 10th time as the first time, but something has to be done about the stink.
Self-examinations are not always reliable, as when left alone in a corner, I can convince myself of just about anything. Sometimes it would be nice to have an X-ray machine to run my life through for an analysis of what’s really going on.
I guess that’s what the Holy Spirit is for, but that doesn’t do me a whole lot of good when I’m not really sure about the symptoms. Times like this make me think maybe I’ve been avoiding the inevitable for too long. Perhaps it’s time to make an appointment with the Doctor . . . stat.
back to top7 Comments to “X-ray vision”
Collarbone fractures are easy to miss – don’t beat yourself up too much Megan!! The doctor might have waited anyway.
My GP routinely gives go-away-and-walk-around-on-it-(or whatever)-for-a-week advice before he does a referral for X-ray or whatever. After “walking around” for a week on what turned out to be a completely ruptured Achilles tendon (not just a “sprain”) that required immediate surgery, I’ve become less accepting of his immediate judgment. But the repair worked out fine …
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Agree with Spinoza on the clavical. My son broke his somehow (we never did figure out how!) when he was five, and the orthopedist had him wear his arm in a sling for a few weeks — and kept saying no biggie, because children are actively growing at that age, and so the fractured bone would straighten as it stretched.
To the central point: Ditto. In all my struggle with the world, the flesh, and the devil, there’s too much denial and hoping it’ll all work out somehow without active effort. But that has never been the Father’s plan.
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I had a reverse situation recently in which my son hurt something, and I did take him to the doctor, even though I thought I was being overly cautious. It turned out that a doctor’s treatment was not needed, and I took away the lesson that the next time I should follow my judgment and not take him to the doctor, and entrust my “what if” fears to God.
I find the doctor decisions tough with children, because I am essentially taking a risk on their behalf if I choose not to see a doctor. It’s a little easier with my own ailments, because I am both the one who takes the risk, and the one who bears the consequences if I am wrong.
But then I think that part of being a parent means having the authority to make judgments on my child’s behalf, that will necessarily have consequences for my children. And I also think about how life in general involves making judgment calls when we don’t have enough information to ensure we are making the right choice. I think that sometimes rather than trying to obtain more information, God wants us to make the best judgment we can, and leave rest in His hands. He won’t necessarily hold us guilty if our choice leads to bad consequences.
I guess the trick is figuring out where the dividing lines are, which in itself is an exercise in judgment! Is this one where I should try to get more information to make a better judgment, or one where I should just make the best choice I can based on what I know? Is this one where I should be more prudent and cautious, or one where to do so would be unreasonable and belie a lack of trust in God’s sovereignty, or a too-strong fear of failure and the consequent guilt?
All I can say is I am thankful that God will help to guide us through these conundrums. And that ultimately grace will rule the day, rather than judgment. Isa 41:10 “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” James 2:13 “… Mercy triumphs over judgment.”
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With the growth plates on little kids masking simple fractures, the breaks often will not even show up on x-rays for up to a week – as we learned with our busy four, three of whom required a cast when preschoolers & one as a teen after cracking a tarsal while mowing after some amazingly rapid physical growth.
True about putting off cleaning up life though. I mentioned that in my blog once: http://37blessings.blogspot.com/2008/06/spotted-past.html
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My family has always preferred the “wait and see” approach if it’s possible (obviously, not in cases where it’s clear something is broken or sprained). It has served us well. I’ve never understood why anyone goes to the doctor for a cold or the flu (unless the person is old or physically compromised somehow). Staying away from doctors unless they’re necessary is a healthier (and cheaper) option.
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#5
Cheryl D.,
In general, I take the same approach. My husband has sometimes insisted we take one of our sick sons to the doctor, however, back when they were little and unable to articulate well what hurt and how much, because his brother had lost most of his hearing as a small child due to an untreated ear infection. (His brother hadn’t complained that his ear hurt, so his mom figured it was just a cold and nothing to worry about.)
Now that they are older, it’s a lot easier to get a reasonable idea of whether they need to see the doctor yet or not.
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That is a hard call. I went several days with the same break as a child. I was in the sixth grade. It was painful, but how was I to know how much is too much?
My little one had her elbow pulled out of joint by her cousin. She complained and we debated. When she fell asleep and I barely touched her arm and she whimpered we decided to take her in. After an x-ray, the doctor walked in and before looking at the x-ray, (He had been at lunch)felt her elbow and popped it back in. Experience was helpful and would have saved us an x-ray, if the doc had been available right away.
I guess that is why we need mature saints also—they should be able to help us diagnose those things we would miss. Hard to find those, though, and when we do, we often don’t listen. Good food for thought here.
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