N.Y. Journal: Apartment life contentment
When it comes to apartments, New Yorkers are actually content with very little. I moved this week. Our old apartment was a second-floor walk-up with laundry a block away. The oven didn’t work at all. The air conditioner didn’t really waft cold air into the bedrooms. The bathroom door didn’t quite shut and you had to flush the toilet twice. Our windows faced a cement courtyard and our stoop was always covered with people drinking Budweiser from the biggest Budweiser cans I had seen. And I paid more in rent than a friend in Portland paid for a whole house.
But I lived there for 15 month barely noticing any of this. I cooked food in a toaster oven, flushed the toilet twice, and picked my way around the beer cans without giving it a second thought. When people asked if I felt safe, I would always say that I just chose not to think about it.
It was only when we found a new apartment, a month before we moved, that I suddenly became unbearably discontent with the old one. I knew that one month away there was an apartment in a newly built building where I could walk into a nice lobby and take an elevator up to a corner apartment with two windows facing sunlight instead of brick, a balcony, air conditioning in my bedroom, and tenant laundry across the street.
Suddenly I couldn’t tolerate the neighbor whose cough reverberated through the stairway. I noted every McDonald’s wrapper and dog dropping left on the sidewalk. I walked past a man urinating next to a car, something I’d walked past countless times before, but this time I stalked into our apartment and fumed to my roommate that it was uncivilized and barbaric and I could not wait to get out of this neighborhood.
So we moved into our new apartment on Wednesday. Now that we’ve relocated and the euphoria over a working oven has tempered, I suddenly realize that the vacant hospital across the street is splashed with graffiti and gashed with broken windows. The grocery store is farther away, and the laundry costs a little more. It somehow takes me just as long to get to work, despite moving closer. Today there was a group of unbalanced-looking people loitering on the sidewalk and I crossed the street to avoid them.
It reminded me of a graph I saw this week that asked, “How much money do you need?” with the answer, “Just a little bit more than you have.” No matter how much money people made, they always said they needed just a little bit more. Contentment was always just out of fingertip’s reach. From apartments to iPhones, the more we upgrade, the more impossible it is to tolerate anything less.
Almost makes me nostalgic for the days when I was content with only a toaster oven.



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back to top10 Comments to “N.Y. Journal: Apartment life contentment”
You’re learning this lesson at a great age, Alisa–keep it up!
But be careful. No matter where you live.
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And what’s funny is you develop such fond memories of these places as you get older. I think back and really do miss my old apartments, especially the little postage-stamp sized one on the second floor of a 1920s Long Beach building, 1 block from the beach. Quirky neighbors galore, from the 90+ year old manager (Maude) to Marshall, a 60-something bachelor who was as odd as they come, riding his bike collecting “treasures” from area trash cans and storing them in his unit just below mine.
There were also several quite flamboyant gay tenants in the building & the gay pride parade used to step off just 1/2 block a way from our place. Surveying the “floats” and displays gathering one year as she was watering the grass, Maude asked me in all innocence, “What’s going on?” and I just shrugged, feigning complete ignorance.
The refrigerator needed manual defrosting. From the day I moved in there were recurrent issues with roaches.
And the dang smoke alarm went off every time I cooked something.
But it was while living in that tiny space that I experienced so much spiritual growth, coming to a much deeper knowledge of Christ. I spent many a late afternoons after work either riding my bike or walking along the beach, contemplating Jesus as the sun set over the water. I’d been a believer for a few years, but my roots were shallow. God used that time to take me deeper.
I still remember the evangelist who used to go up to everyone on the beach asking people if they were “born again,” something that would have caused me embarrassment only a couple years earlier.
One day, we came face to face and he posed the question to me. I told him I was a Christian. “But are you born again?” he persisted.
I thought for a moment. “Yes,” I said with a confidence that almost surprised me. “Why, yes I am.”
I moved out of that place when my mom unexpectedly died and I had to rent a house so I could keep her dogs. I’ll never forget turning the lights out for the last time, tears welling up in my eyes for a million and one reasons.
So much of my life, so many changes, were wrapped up in the 5 short years I spent there.
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It is a good thing to learn that things are never enough.
It is a good thing to learn that adulation is never enough.
It is a good thing to learn that lust will never fulfill enough.
There is only One who is enough, always and forever and we find our rest in him.
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I don’t miss the time we lived in an 8×35′ house trailer a bit.
Except the rain on the roof, I liked that.
And the heat bill was low. Except I had to keep filling the kerosene tank.
But air conditioning was impossible. Like the inside of a car.
But I as thankful for my mobile home.
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I don’t miss either of our old apartments we had together or when we lived in our basement, while building the rest of the house. I especially don’t miss when we lived in it with two little ones under three and no running water or electricity.
I am appreciative of being able to get our home with the sweat equity, however. Also, I am appreciative of all we learned through it. I appreciate running water and all the conveniences I have now, much more than I would have been had I not experienced that.
I know, too, how difficult it must have been for my MIL, who was pregnant with my husband at this time of year and had four littles one already, no electricity or running water, except a hand pump some distance from the house and a husband who was abusive.
I am surely blessed!
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I was blessed because at an early age I learned how to fix things in a house. Whenever I moved into a place and something did not suit me I knew it was up to me to fix it. Some things might take time but the more I did the more comfort I could have. I learned how to get permits and when to get permits. And it only frustrated me that I had to get a “real” plumber instead of doing some things for myself. Of course sometimes the plumber let me do the work and then he ‘certified it’.
I have also been blessed by finding good architects. So the houses were far better by the time they were done. I would hate to just ‘pass on’ some problems. I have never had bug problems. And only once did I own a house with a mouse. Again the mouse was something I fixed.
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No matter where I have gone I have always had a sense of inner contentment.
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I’ve never had a bug problem either, for which I am extremely grateful! But Monty is right — inner contentment is far more important. If you have a home, however humble, food on your table, you may not be eating off of Royal Copenhagen china, but you still have what you need. We’re leaving it all behind when we go anyway.
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I agreed to “share” an apt with a young man I met at a church in Austin. He was what I term a “hanger-on”: booted from the university yet still hanging around in Austin due to the combined effects of a mental illness and alleged bad relations with his parents. He would quit or be fired from various jobs (mainly fast food) and never let me know. Then of course he’d not have rent money and we’d nearly be evicted.
At last a friend told me he had a room in the house he and his mother were buying. It was the master bedroom with its own shower and bathroom. Having previously lived in army barracks to at last again have my own room was amazing. It was a few weeks prior to the time J and his mother moved in. At that time they were the 24/7 caretakers of a 99 year old lady whose 80 year old son was one of the Brothers of the Holy Cross. I lived there for about a month all alone. I was great to at last have no roommates.
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Sawgunner,
you might get a kick out of this web site.
http://www.readliterature.com/h010502.htm
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