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’Tis the season to … slow down?
I’ve recently started reading Not So Fast, Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families, by Ann Kroeker. I haven’t gotten very far because . . . well, because I’ve been too busy. I haven’t been making time to read books like I used to. I’ve grown more accustomed to Twitter streams and (short) blog entries. I’ve been slowly turning myself twiterate rather than literate.
But there is something about Ann that draws me in. The things she says, both in her book and her online presence, that gives me pause and makes me think more about being intentional. It has been a long time since anyone or anything online has challenged me to the point of change. I need this challenge. Maybe now more than ever.
December, ah, the season of peace, which, ironically, is usually anything but. Rehearsal for the Christmas concert? Check, check, check (three kids, three different rehearsals). Actual Christmas concert? Check. Church Christmas party? Check. Homeschool friends Christmas party? Check. Sewing like crazy because that’s what I do in December? Check.
Advent preparation? Finding time to savor the things we all claim we love about this month? Well . . . maybe not so much.
On Ann’s blog yesterday, she posed this question: “This Christmas, as schedules grow more hectic and shopping threatens to consume . . . what do you want to be sure not to miss?”
Oh man. Do I really have to answer that? Should I even try? Isn’t it all obvious? I don’t want to spend so much time on activities that pull me away from time with my family. I don’t want to miss making them breakfast because I’ve stayed up too late (again) doing one thing or another. I don’t want to squash my girls’ desire to learn to sew because I’m too busy (sewing) to give them the attention that requires. I don’t want to miss the joy my kids experience as they count all the houses with Christmas lights as we drive around. I don’t want to miss snuggling on the couch with my husband while watching a movie because I’m on the computer writing something (or tweeting something).
In a season that at its core is supposed to be about Jesus, I don’t want to miss Him completely. If I’m not careful, that’s exactly what I’m going to miss. And I don’t want to. I really really don’t want to.
back to top8 Comments to “’Tis the season to … slow down?”
Great thoughts Megan. Since you have written you dont want to be consummed by all the stuff then the natural progression is to ask, So what will you do about it?
That is where the rubber meets the road. I know in my life just wanting to do something almost never equates into what I am willing to do about it.
For us this year, we are saying no thank you alot more so we can have the time for what really counts.
What about you?
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Yes, that is the harder question and one I’m still trying to figure out the answer to. Not just this month but beyond. We’ve turned down several field trip opportunities with good friends. We also turned down an 8-week indoor soccer league with good friends. Just can’t give up that time!
That’s as far as it’s gone as of now, though. I feel obligated to take my kids to performances they’ve worked toward all semester.
So then the next obvious question is – do we keep up the semester activities if it leads to chaos at the end?
I really try to choose extras for my kids that will bring value to their adult lives and not just a temporary experience.
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I fear that too much of what we enjoy about this season really has very little to do with Christ the Savior, or even Christ the infant. And I suspect it all makes us look hypocritical to the world when we complain about how early Christmas products go on the shelves or Christmas decorations go on display. We too are guilty. (And somewhat as an aside, consider the missionaries in the southern hemisphere who celebrate Christmas with their winter decor.) I am beginning to think that we should join the cultural celebration that comes to an end December 25, downplay the New Years partying, and focus our worship on the Orthodox date of Epiphany, January 6.
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It is a good thing to examine what is important and what is not. It is good to remember what the goal in parenting really is for each of us. It is when we forget the goal that we go awry.
Season plays and concerts can have a life long impact on both the cast members and the audience. It all depends on what is being said in song and plot.
Parents do have to think about which activities will have the most life-long impact on their children and promote the values they want their children to have. It is not an easy thing to know. You have to know both your goal and your children’s natural gifts and inclinations. A lot of thinking and prayer is the number one thing needed.
As a grandparent it means I have to think how what I want my adult children to do on holidays affects their families. I may need to stretch my own thinking.
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It’s not just my own busyness and reluctance to give up things. There is also the cultural pressure to involve ourselves and our children in all the great opportunities our culture offers. If I don’t let my children play soccer then I’m a bad parent. If I don’t encourage them to get their music lessons I’m depriving them of important experiences.
Part of the answer for me and my family is making the hard decisions to live our life according to our convictions of what God wants for us rather than what those outside our family expect of us.
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Back in the dark ages when my children were young, the two oldest had eight after-school activities a week between them.I couldn’t possibly get them to their soccer practices on either side of the county at the same time. My husband’s work schedule–saving the world through the US Navy–kept him very occupied. So, I thought about it and decided the kids could each have one after-school activity and we would have dinner together as a family every night.
There were howls. I had to take over the cub scouts in order to get a meeting time I liked, but we ate real meals at a real table at the same time every night and life smoothed out considerably.
Years later with only one child left at home, we let her join a volleyball team. Chaos has reigned at dinner time ever since. We don’t like it, but we can find time with her two-on-one in a way that wasn’t possible when it was three against me.
The three, by the way, turned out fine. And our family–is great.
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Great stuff. One day next week whirled views should open this open and people could put in their thoughts and ideas for their family. Say it in a couple of sentences and in list format?
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California,
Introduce what you want on whirled views, people will bite or they won’t.
We have definitely found it more beneficial to all of our kids to have down time at home rather than being off and doing. So we have learned to just say no.
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