Believers behaving badly
Thank you Jon Acuff from Stuff Christians Like for stepping into the firing line in your CNN Belief Blog post last week. In “Why Christians are jerks online,” he posits two reasons believers are so badly behaved in the virtual world.
With “The Business Traveler’s Approach,” Acuff says that people comment online with a “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” attitude. They do what they wouldn’t dream of doing at home. Or, in this case, they say online what they wouldn’t dream of saying to a person’s face. Anonymity anywhere frees us from the rules of propriety, but no place as conveniently as the internet.
He labels his second reason “Room Cleaning Christianity,” where we go out of our way to not do what we are called to do. Acuff writes:
“Think of it like college. When you’ve got a final paper due Monday, you will be amazed at how energetic your desire is to clean your room. You will scrub tile with a slow toothbrush if it means avoiding the bigger, more difficult work of writing your paper. The same thing happens with Christianity. Loving your neighbor might be simple, but it’s not easy. Maybe my neighbor is a jerk too. Maybe they hate God. Maybe they are actively and violently opposed to everything I believe. And showing them grace feels impossible. So instead of dealing with that, we get online and police people. We find small things to focus on that will distract us. I think God wants us to discuss the little stuff, but we make it an idol when we practice room cleaning Christianity at the exclusion of love. And we tend to become jerks.”
Acuff ends his piece with a plea: “So my hope is that you won’t prove my point in the comments section.”
Which, in the 1,600-plus comments that follow, is exactly what happened, Acuff’s admonition apparently went in one cyber ear and out the other, as Christians and non alike go at it Gingham Dog and Calico Cat style, chewing each other up with, if anything, extra verve.
Unfortunately, WORLD’s site is no exception to this trend. It is common for our comments sections to descend into a tit for tat, he said/she said, accusatory and condemning judgefest. Being anonymous certainly promotes this. WORLD’s writers and columnists here, however, with both our names and faces accompanying our work, don’t have such a luxury. We have to be ourselves, keeping in mind our reputations both as writers and as Christians, which means we can’t pull off the kid gloves and come into the ring swinging, as much as we may want to when our posts are challenged, criticized, or misunderstood. My point is not that we are perfect, but that being identifiable encourages good behavior.
Disagreement is a big part of online discussion, and I get that. I love a good debate as much as anyone. But what I see here sometimes goes beyond cordial discussion and the respectful exchange of ideas. And I cringe when I think of what nonbelievers must think of some of our interchanges.
That said, I’d like to see the WORLD site become a place where grace, not jerkiness, is the rule of the day. Let’s become one of the first Christian websites that doesn’t let anonymity (or anything else) excuse our acting like Cretans.

















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back to top55 Comments to “Believers behaving badly”
In most of the nation where I’ve lived, you can have considerable yard space/acreage between you and your nearest neighbor.
On Long Island, however, where houses are often separated by the home owners’ driveways a ministry of “neighborliness” is vital.
I think often times if you have a difficult person next door you are given the opportunity to really put your Christianity to the test. Do we walk the walk as well as we talk the talk?
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I can’t quite muster up any rage anger etc to aim it at a name on a blog.
I hope others would take the same lead: Instead of “Sawgunner, you’re an idiot or that is the most idiotic thing I’ve heard you say yet” I hope it will always be “Sawgunner, there are several flaws/fallacies in your statemt, let me show them to you now..”
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This is the very reason that I changed from using an anonymous moniker to using my real name. I decided that I needed the accountability to remind me of who I am and who I serve. I now edit more carefully before I hit post. As Christians we have nothing to brag about except that Christ gives us the power to conquer our sharp tongues. It is much easier when I am not hiding behind a mask.
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I don’t use my last name because I am a single woman and I’ve seen some cyber stalking on this blog, but I do use my “real” name, and anyone who e-mails me usually finds out my full name. It seems to me that most of the disrespectful Christians (and non-Christians) have been removed from this site through banning, however. (Although a person who acted as a “stalker” remains, alas.)
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Cheryl, I agree that there are some good reasons to “hide” various facts about oneself when online.
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#4 Cheryl D
Am I that stalker? I hope not, but I did come across your “real” name. I do not tire of reading your posts.
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I write for a daily newspaper and we reporters are typically dismayed (and sometimes horrified) by the comments that appear on our stories (all anonymous, of course). Juvenile, crass, full of personal attacks. We kill those we find that step over the line, but frankly we can’t be policing this stuff through our weekends and evenings.
It’s led some reporters to advocate doing away with the comments section completely, they’re convinced only idiots read the paper now. I disagree with that approach, I think reader interaction is a positive — and every once in a while (though way less often than I’d hope), there are good discussions raised.
But oh how I do wish there were a way to force people to use their real names. (I’m not sure if this is really as difficult as the tech folks tells us it is or not.) I think 95% of the bad behavior would clear up if people couldn’t come on with their cutsey little anonymous nicknames (some with vulgar undertones or crafted as a way to simply ridicule someone else — sometimes actually hijacking someone else’s real name).
Christians, of course, should always be on their best behavior, whether anonymous or not. But human nature being what it is, I do think that being accountable for one’s words — by posting them under one’s true name, even if just the first name — self-enforces that for most of us. It’s much easier to resist temptation to spout off when you know your words can be easily traced back to you.
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Bob, no, someone who did a lot of work to track down where someone lived, and openly harassed him for several posts over a few days. It just seems safer overall for a woman, especially one willing to comment on controversial subjects, not to use her full name on such a public forum. (Though as an author, I’d almost prefer to go ahead and use my name, especially when the discussion turns to subjects on which I’ve written.) Really, though, on the subject of the post, it doesn’t seem like the current atmosphere of this blog is unpleasant. We did have some necessary bannings, and some additional necessary “indefinite suspensions,” but I think the tone is nearly always civil today, even on controversial subjects.
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It is difficult to be grace-filled online for a number of reasons. Anonymity, text-only, not knowing the other people/them knowing you so you misunderstand each other more easily and take offense where none was intended, the tendency for conversation to center on controversial topics, the ability to “post and leave”… the list goes on and on.
But, if you are going to post online as a Christian, you must think about this topic and how you are going to reflect Christ in your posts. I know I try – but I fail regularly. It’s a good reminder.
By the way – Acuff’s stuff is very good. A great blend of humor and faith – laugh at what we do, but take seriously what the Church is.
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Blizzard (maker of World of Warcraft, Starcraft, Diablo) is making their forums actual names now, no more avatars or screennames. Not sure how that will work. The same reason of stalking, ID theft, etc. would become a problem.
This is obviously not a christian only problem. Video game industry/Apple vs MS boards/Mustang vs Vette, etc on any internet area youll find this problem due largely to the anomonmous aspects, but mainly because thats a reflection of who people really are. It is the grace of God that restrains us otherwise.
As christians though and since we have God’s special grace, we really should be better than that, we should lead the way in how we respond. It is fine to stand for truth and be direct in our conversations. But there is no reason to descend into vulgarities, language, 12 year old attitudes, etc.
It should go not only on how we treat each other, but also for how we treat nonchristians.
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“sometimes actually hijacking someone else’s real name)”.
That’s what happened to me! Some mildly talented country singer stole my name. And then had the nerve to spell it wrong on top of it. I grew tired of the “oh, do you sing?” comments, and other similar ones. Some were amusing, but only like the first 100 times I heard it. Then it grew annoying. So now I make it clear that I’m the real one, not the much richer imitation. So now you know. Please refrain from the jokes. Thanks in advance.
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Well said Thorn.
I keep pushing for registration and the use of “real” names at work, but so far it seems like we haven’t even explored doing that. I’ve been told it’s not really “possible.” But even if there were ways to get around it, such a policy surely would weed out many of those who use the boards to vent and say the rudest things possible.
Seriously, this place is very tame and well-mannered compared to what I see on our comment boards at work. We ban posters there, too, but they quickly re-invent themselves and return under some other pseudonym.
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Or, in this case, they say online what they wouldn’t dream of saying to a person’s face
—
want make a bet.
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the real question is why is it ok to bash Christian on line.
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That said, I’d like to see the WORLD site become a place where grace, not jerkiness, is the rule of the day. Let’s become one of the first Christian websites that doesn’t let anonymity (or anything else) excuse our acting like Cretans.
—-
I agree the problem is when dealing with false teaching. People will take your views and comments as a personal attack.
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This certainly dovetails nicely with the case involving all who signed the Prop 8 petition in Cali. The signatures are public information and the homosexuals go into attack mode against anyone who signed for the Prop 8 ballot measure.
It rules out the possibility that one could oppose an idea yet support having it decided at the ballot box instead of by judges.
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Sawgunner how is that action not called voter intimidation?
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I would use my real name, but Charlie is much harder to type. Well, Charles is my real name, but I didn’t know that ’till I joined the AF.
Lots of times, I vent, re-read what I said, and click the “return” arrow.
I think we’re mostly nice. I didn’t object to Random nor Victoria. I miss them.
Especially Anlir, I wanted someone to brag to about the Gamecock national championship. Nobody else here cared.
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Well, my consience has been pricked. I know that I am a hot-head. I seem to have grown into anger problems. It’s not something that I have always had. Prayers are appreciated!
This is one of the reasons that I changed my avatar some time ago. I wanted to remind myself that my posts should look like they are coming from a praying man.
Thanks Amy for the rebuke and the encouragement. It’s not easy to take sometimes. When I read your article, I was thinking of come-backs, but all I can hear are the words of Jesus. Now, if my Lord suffered so much in silence, turning the other cheeck, and His aposltes likewise, I know that I have no defense. And I praise God for that.
I have visited other blogs, and I must say that this is the most civil and intellectually challenging one. And to those that I disagree with, I have come to appreciate your civility also. You get me angry sometimes, more than I care to admit, but you make me think. I hope that we make you think sometimes also.
By the way, my name is Daniel Smith. I go by BrotherDan everywhere that name is not already taken. The only other forum or blog that I regularly particpate in is the Logos Bible Software site. And I have cringed to think that some these fine Christians would come here and read some of my posts! Clean house indeed!!
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Obviously, Hopesprings is not my real name, but being anonymous on a forum doesn’t let me off the hook before God. My words are not written anonymously before Him.
And, Amy, while I wouldn’t like to see any Christian writer “pull off the kid gloves and come into the ring swinging”, I wouldn’t mind at all if the original blogger responded (with grace) when “posts are challenged, criticized, or misunderstood”.
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Something that I meant to write above: I find the most exciting threads to be with those of opposing views. It gets kind of boring without them. So, to my beloved advasaries, thank you for your participation.
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“the real question is why is it ok to bash Christian on line.”
Interesting. Christians feel attacked. Atheist feel attacked. Homosexuals feel attacked. I wonder if humans could realize this is simply a common experience. Humans do not tolerate differences very well. I like that this article is here. This site can get on the vicious side. My feeling is those that believe in God/Christ should not fret about attacks (the apostles expected it and felt honored by it, drinking from the same cup as Jesus) and simply stay on message, ignoring the crazies and respecting those who respect them.
Being anonymous does allow people to show their true colors and for that it is OK by me. Pretty revealing.
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Re #18
Take heart m’friend; I am totally a TIGER fan – not a fanatic, but, BUT, BUT, I was extremely jubilant at the ‘Cock’s win of the series! I was hoping for a sweep, but when they didn’t do it in 9, I went to bed — sure wish I’d stayed up!!!!
As to the other topic(s), I do not use my real name partially because I am a very private person (introvert if you will) AND the possibility of that vicious post coming home to roost!
Not the most noble of motives I’m sure, but honest never-the-less.
I, too, have written many posts on forums that “SHOWED ‘EM”, only to be proof reading and feel that prick of the Spirit that said in effect, “If you said this face to face, how would it affect your Christian witness????”
Enter “DELETE BUTTON”!!!
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Anlir is a Volunteer fan. Just as bad.
I kept waiting for something bad to happen.
But they won.
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Anonymous or not – just ‘cuz one SAYS one’s a Christian, doesn’t necessarily mean one really has given one’s life to Christ. That said, my heart (and posting) always need the precious grace and cleansing of Jesus and in future, I hope to carefully salt this blog and facebook with his Thoughts above my Opinions.
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Agreed. Even believers can be a disgrace. BUT…
I haven’t noticed many embarrassing posts here. Look at the secualr blogs and there is no comparison. But I do notice that Christians here and on Amazon book reviews (and elsewhere) seem to be very thin-skinned. Often they will take a criticism of an author or one of the WMag bloggers and confront the critic with a “How dare you call my favorite big-teddy-bear blogger or author a self-righteous prig” (or whatever). They seem to think that questioning the message or character of some celeb-preacher or hallowed-churchman will reveal to the world that we really are jerks after all.
I think we should take time to examine the substance of what people say and not worry so much about how they say it. In particular, I notice that denominational and mainstream churchgoers seem to hate it when their empty dogmas are dissesd by some independent evangelical commenter. But then again, I actually enjoy it when those I disagree with are mocked; so probably I just don’t get it.
Pax Vobiscum
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I read Jonathan Acuff’s piece and I mostly agree with him except for his basic premise. His question, “Why are Christians jerks online?” assumes that they are. Since when? How does one define jerk? Perhaps this blog is more civil than the one’s he frequents.
I believe in being direct and am called numerous things for it. I try to be factual and civil, the modern equivalent of truth and grace, though I fall far short of my role model. One of my favorite things about Jesus was his phenomenal way of handling his detractors. He blasted them with facts, but politely with a savory twist. What’s not to love about that guy!
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#26 Beautifully said, Captain!
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And there are trolls, you know. I’d say that such an article as “Why Christians are Jerks Online” on a CNN blog is an absolute magnet for them.
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Our local newspaper recently began requiring blog-commentors to use their real names, because of the vicious comments and personal attacks that were getting out of hand. It certainly does seem that only idiots read newspapers. I’m not aware of any technical difficulties in making that change. Since then, the volume of comments has decreased dramatically, and it seems only thoughtful people with something constructive to say are now commenting I would be afraid to use my real name in a comment, however, not because of embarrassment or shame about my comments, but because I live in a small town, and am married to a public figure.
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Our local newspaper recently began requiring blog-commentors to use their real names, because of the vicious comments and personal attacks that were getting out of hand. It certainly does seem that only idiots read newspapers. I’m not aware of any technical difficulties in making that change. Since then, the volume of comments has decreased dramatically, and it seems only thoughtful people with something constructive to say are now commenting. I would be afraid to use my real name in a comment, however, not because of embarrassment or shame about my comments, but because I live in a small town, and am married to a public figure.
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I used my real name here for a long time until I discovered that my employer and clients would do Internet searches on me. My boss and some of my clients started harassing me about my political and religious views.
My boss is a left wing extremist and detests all things conservative and ridicules me as anti-science, anti-knowledge and various other things. This is funny since I make him lots of money doing scientific work, creating new kinds of scientific instruments. So, the one thing he likes about me is the thing he ridicules me for. Such things make sense in the mixed up mind of a liberal.
By using a moniker, one can debate ideas on their own merit without having to worry about public ridicule or losing one’s job for being something so unacceptable as a being a Christian conservative.
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Road rage and blogs are but manifestations that anonymity fosters depravity. This quote seems apropos…
“Character is what one does in the dark” (i.e.; anonymously)
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PMNIK: Good road rage comparison. Very apt.
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LJO, interesting — it may have something to do in our case with the company we contract with that runs our comment section, I’m not sure.
But I signed on this morning to find myself called an out-and-out “liar” and in the pocket of a politician for something I wrote. It’s under the name of someone I interviewed. But is that “really” him? Or just someone using his name? I have no idea.
It’s just ludicrous. We’ve had people attacking each other or others in the community for their race, their physical appearance, suggesting they are running around (that’s code as if you didn’t pick that up) with so-and-so. Honestly, it just never stops.
And yet there are a few commenters (and some who use anonymous nicknames) who carry on worthwhile discussions about the issues. They’re just so few and far between …. PNMIK (#33), you’ve got that right I think.
Sigh.
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Unfortunately, I think we all have been guilty of it – we go from being persecuted for what we believe to being persecuted for being a jerk.
We have to remember that we are trying to WIN souls, not alienate them and I agree that we should be accountable for what we say and HOW we say it. After all, we should be representing our LORD and Savior in all we do.
Remember Jesus’ words: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36
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Well said, Amy. I also agree with Gloria and many others who have commented here. As a retired missionary, I generally make several blog entries a month on my own website, which is not a religious site, but mainly has to do with small sailboats. Because people feel they get to know me, many good discussions and friendships have developed by email and occasionally through a phone call or visit. Many readers are not church people but just need a listening ear. They have tried church, but became disappointed in one-way churches. By this I mean churches where nearly everything takes place up front with someone’s head in between. There is seldom opportunity to comment or question or discuss what is said or done “on stage.” Some disagree with my political or religious convictions, but they have come to view me as a real down-to-earth person who cares about others. Unfortunately, the ministry aspect of blogging often gets lost in the comments section.
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I actually take pride in the screennames I do pick. I like to be clever, or use something no one else does.
I mean anyone can add numbers to a name, like instead of Thorn…7H0RN, but thats so 12 year old…
Anyway, since its a reflection of myself, the anonymous aspect of it does not bother me. I prefer not to get any name whether during gaming or on a blog, banned.
The problem with using real names will be that there are too many Fred Phelps, stalkers, ID theives, and other morons that will abuse your name if not outright contact you just to harass you.
See how it goes on the gaming sites before using it elsewhere. I think itd be easier just to treat everyone as if they are your neighbor.
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I’ll try to do that more often, HopeSprings. Most of the time it’s just a matter of not having the time to always follow the comment thread. These rascally half dozen of mine are such demanding little beasts.
But honestly, there are times I feel commenting when misunderstood just exacerbates the argument. If people come here looking for a fight or a point to pick apart or to scrutinize until some fault (in an argument, in an opinion, etc) is found, they’re going to find it. We’re all fallable humans, the bloggers included. When I see someone write something caustic, I feel for them, because they’re obviously struggling with something not even related to the post.
I’m proud of you all for not proving Acuff right in this particular comment session. Perhaps a good rule of thumb is to heed Philo of Alexandria’s advice before commenting (or writing a blog post): “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”
Yes, no, maybe?
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Hear ye! Hear ye! Let it be known that henceforth I shall sign my real name at the bottom of my comments unless I forget. The moniker I use here, Allen Wrench, surely has fooled no one. Allen is a real name (though not mine) suggesting male gender (yes) and Wrench, a real tool, was appended to make it catchy. I also found an allen wrench avitar to draw attention. (My! That makes me sound awfully conceited.)
Ken Bland
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Ken, you are a brave man. Bravo.
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Amy, you have a point. Sometimes silence is better in the face of blatant dissent. I would like to see the original blogger respond to questions or comments on occasion, though. Thanks for your response. I appreciate it.
It’s interesting, though, that right next to the Log In, it says “Join the fray.” Now a fray is:
1. a fight, battle, or skirmish.
2. a competition or contest, esp. in sports.
3. a noisy quarrel or brawl.
In general, I think most posters here are able to moderate themselves and remain civil, even kind. However, there have been times when it seems like “frays” are downright encouraged. In fact, it seems that there are times that the original blogger writes in order to get a good fight going.
In general, I’ve found that posters on a forum will often go to the edges of civility if they’re allowed and no one steps in. Of course, you can over-moderate and muffle everyone and that is the other extreme.
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Amy wrote; “Disagreement is a big part of online discussion, and I get that.”
I get it too, Amy.
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I think the greater problem with some Christians is that we are too prone to shudder in the face of harmful leftist points and attacks and in the face of political correctness overall. We are afriad to let a sane voice be heard and we let truly harmful influences go unopposed. This is often quite unloving on our part. We are too often easily intimidated.
See the post by Ken Blackwell (July 9, 2010) for an anecdotal example of how radical leftists rarely “shudder”. They are often bold, agressive, direct and unrelenting in their communication, their assaults and their mission to destroy decency and change America for the worse. The problem with most Christian communicators, in my view (just generally speaking), is less that we are ungraceful and more that we are passive and silent and even proud of our passive silence sometimes (uncritically confusing that with “grace”). But our responses should be, as far as is possible, to the points and policies made and not to the persons themselves.
That said, every comment should be taken on its own merits. I find little value in attempts to lump groups together (atheists, Christians, liberals, conservatives, etc) for broad-brushed criticism based on a few comments (many of them from trolls).
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Great point at #16.
Thanks Sawgunner.
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#38 Thorn “I actually take pride in the screennames I do pick. I like to be clever, or use something no one else does. … Anyway, since its a reflection of myself, the anonymous aspect of it does not bother me.”
Now you’ve got me wondering, why Thorn? What does it mean and how is it a reflection of yourself?
My pseudonym is the Greek word for my favorite substance in the world: Snow!
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Good idea XION. I too am curious about why people choose the pseudonym’s they use. That would be an interesting WV question. “What does your pseudonym mean and how is it a reflection of yourself?”
I like snow. In its season!
I used the pseudonym “fisherman” My heart’s desire is to be a fisher of men; and, I really enjoy fly fishing. It was a fun label, but I feel more genuine using my personal name.
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The short term attempt by Blizzard Entertainment, developer of online video games like _World of Warcraft_, to require the use of real names in its discussions forums (http://tinyurl.com/2becdsc) to make them more civil, illustrates the complexity of this issue.
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Ah, hi Fisherman. I remember you.
I can see where there’s a downside to requiring real names for newspapers. We are losing readership and this has been one way we’ve found to be out front again, at least on the web (though it makes us little if no money). And some of our commenters who use pseudonyms are perfectly civil and respectful, they stay within the guidelines and advance the online discussions.
So you hate to impede their discourse. As LJO pointed out in #31, there are sometimes good reasons people can’t or don’t want to post under their true identities.
But by comparison, the abusers are so many. And they are so prolific.
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Christians are given a ministry of reconciliation. That was Jesus’ ultimate mission, to reconcile us to God. Likewise, we are called to do the same and also to reconcile people to each other. But for Jesus, in the process, he severely alientated many civic and religious leaders and others whose work was incompatible with Jesus’ work. Jesus did not back down. A real ministry of reconciliation will, of necessesity, alienate some people–often many people. Jesus’ ministry did, and the alienation ran so deep that they wanted him dead and the acted to kill him. But we must be most careful to keep our motives pure and our intentions godly. Meanness for it’s own sake is unacceptable.
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Very good observation Joel Mark #50
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Maybe not so brave, Amy (41), but thank you for the compliment. I’d like to think I have nothing to fear from others who contribute here. My use of a pseudonym was not intended to conceal any nefarious deed, but as Thorn has said, I wanted it to be catchy. Other monikers I have used in other places are Justin Case, Justin Thyme, Sue d’Nym, and Nom d’Plume.
Ken Bland
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When I read above from BrotherDan that his conscience is pricked, my respect for him rises. Amy has made me think too. I have what I think are good reasons to not be passive, silenced or intimidated and to be constructively responsive to bad ideas in some cases, but I also know my need is also to move in the dcirection of more grace and patience. And I think I need this more than does my brother Dan!
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“Being anonymous does allow people to show their true colors and for that it is OK by me. Pretty revealing”
exminister
—————-
Yeah. Thank God for the intercessory work of the Great High Priest…
“How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” (Heb 9:14)
“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.” (Heb 10:35)
Signed,
ATLS, A talking living stone.
a.k.a. MTS (classified)
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I’m not a frequent commenter, but sometimes after I comment I think I might come across as a bit arrogant. I hope not, but you guys have an objective view, and your feedback is welcome.
A very good post for self examination, right?
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