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Great expectations, take two
The first post I wrote for WORLDMag.com went live the day I took my oldest daughter (newly 10 at the time) to Chicago for some intentional mommy/daughter time. This past weekend, I had the privilege of taking my second daughter (herself now newly 10) to the same city for a similar experience.
All along I tried to plan some different things for us to do so the trip wouldn’t feel like an exact replica of the one I took with her older sister. Some things were the same because I’m the same and default to what I know and am comfortable with, which, in Chicago, is pretty limited.
But while I was more or less the same person on the first trip, the thing I had to keep reminding myself was my second daughter was not. The things she thinks about, the things that make her tick, the things she will remember from this weekend are altogether different from what my oldest daughter remembers.
It helped that the time of year was different. My oldest and I spent as much time indoors as possible as it was December, but this trip was marked by all the things outside: boat ride on Lake Michigan, Ferris wheel at Navy Pier, Cubs game at Wrigley Field.
For this girl, who can almost always be found in some remote corner of our house halfway through whatever book she can find, the trip was very necessary, as she is usually content to watch life pass from a distance. For me to say to her that I wanted three days alone with just her was pretty big, and this primarily introverted 10-year-old hardly stopped talking from the time we got on our bus at 5:40 a.m. on Friday until the time we got off the train at 8:39 p.m. on Sunday.
It takes a lot of effort to pull off an event like this, particularly when the rest of the family is left to fend for themselves for that span of time. But on this side of it, I know how important it was and I don’t for a second regret it. I’m looking forward to when my third daughter and I get to go, and then my fourth.
I’m thankful to be the mother of these four girls. And more than just a once-in-a-childhood weekend trip to Chicago, I want to find moments of individual intentionality with them on a daily basis. These relationships are so worth it.
back to top9 Comments to “Great expectations, take two”
EXCELLENT!
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I’m so thankful you recognize the difference now, rather than later. My third son kept insisting, “but I’m not like my older brothers,” which was true, even if he kept doing the same things they did . . .
In hindsight, we now see he did everything better–but that might have been because I was a looser parent with him.
Or not.
Hopefully you’ll get a chance to see the city in spring and autumn!
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Very wise to grab those opportunities and use them well. They are gone in a twinkling of an eye.
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I never had a trip of several days with either parent, but I remember treasuring even a trip to the grocery store that was one-on-one time. (When one comes from a family of seven children, with parents who are old and tired, one-on-one time is rare.)
I was an adult, and Dad with the Lord, by the time Mom and I did one-on-one road trips, and they were only day trips. But she and I had several trips to Sedona, including one two weeks before she made the trip to heaven. I treasure those memories still.
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My folks have taken all their grandkids on a big trip when they were 11 (old enough to remember, but still half-price fare). The east coast American history tour, England and Scotland, Fiji and an Alaskan cruise were some of the destinations. Whether my parents had one of my seven or one of the other 12 grandkids, they said delving into the uniqueness of each child was more than the exotic locale.
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You’ve given me a wonderful idea, Adios. Our grandkids are about the same age, want to go somewhere with us?
In a couple years, of course!
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Michelle, how fun would that be?!
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Greaat trip Megan. I never went anywhere with either of my parents. We never went anywhere.
But we had lots of fun with our granddaughters. The beaches, Williamsburg, Disney World, Kings Dominion, the mountains and the park. Each was/is different, and delightful in her unique way.
Becky, the oldest was always a mother. You could tell it at Jenn’s wedding (the youngest), though they had a reception manager, Becky had to see that it was done right. Becky will have her third this spring sometime.
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Last summer I brought one set of grand kids from Wichita to Crescent City, CA. We went through the Rockies, the first mountains they remember, Mesa Verde, Zion, Bryce Canyon and the Great Salt Lake. When they got here they couldn’t get enough of the ocean. (Boy is the Pacific cold up here!)
This summer I brought a grand daughter from Las Vegas up through eastern Nevada and across Oregon to her father. He came to our house and then took her back to Coos Bay, OR.
My wife picked up three grand kids from Los Angeles and brought them back up for 3 weeks. On the way back they went through San Francisco and stopped at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. That Aquarium is unlike any other in the world. It has one tank that the water goes up and down like a tidal area.
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