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A daughter’s security in her dad
This past Saturday my husband turned 40. For his birthday we drove through the latest St. Louis snowstorm to a pre-screening of Gnomeo and Juliet. Sounds like a great way to spend your 40th birthday, right? In Craig’s case it totally makes sense because it wasn’t just his birthday, it was our third daughter’s 9th birthday as well, and she was thrilled to see a movie in a theater on her birthday.
Having Katie born on Craig’s birthday was the best thing to happen to him; he hates attention on his birthday and always has. When he turned 30, I threw a major surprise party for him that packed 60-plus people dressed in 1980’s garb into our small house. It was super fun and he really did enjoy it, but when it was over he gently asked me not to ever do it again. I promised I wouldn’t. Katie was born on his birthday the following year and ever since, the birthday focus has been on her, which is just the way he likes it.
Anyway, my younger two girls and I attend Classical Conversations one day a week, and each week every child gets to practice public speaking by giving a presentation to his or her class. As the director checking in on the morning’s classes, I happened to walk into Katie’s class right when she was giving her presentation and just in time to hear her explain to her class how her birthday was on Saturday.
Katie showed them one of the gifts she received and explained how she shares her special day with her dad. I then heard her pronounce confidently to the whole group, “My dad says I’m the best thing that ever happened to him on his birthday!” She was beaming as she said it, and she said it because she believes it. She believes it because she has full confidence in her father that he means what he says and she will always know in the core of her being that she really is the best thing that ever happened to him on his birthday.
Having daughters who know and feel secure in their position in the life of their dad is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. As much as I try and as much as I want to be an important influence in their lives, I simply can’t do it alone. I’m not at all saying Craig is a perfect dad. He makes mistakes just like the rest of us, but he is very intentional about investing relationally in the lives of our girls and they know that. I love that he is such a great influence in their lives, and I love that they rest in that.
back to top13 Comments to “A daughter’s security in her dad”
An inspiring man and story. Thank you.
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Megan, you obviously need a reminder that it is discriminatory and bigoted (to the “marriage equality” rights for all constituency) to suggest in any way that fatherhood is exceptional or that fathers are necessary. You have been advised.
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I, too, am so grateful for my husband’s input into our daughter’s lives. It has made ALL the difference.
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i couldn’t have said it better myself. the best gift we can give our children is a great dad…and a mom that is growing daily as well. loved this post:)
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I am very thankful that I have a husband who is a wonderful father, as well. Thanks for sharing.
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Megan,
Your daughters are very, very fortunate to have a father who has instilled in them the kind of security and belovedness that your husband has given them!
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This was a beautiful post. It reminded me of my relationship with my father and some of the special times we had together. I have been fortunate that I was given additional fathers in certain ministers and the judge, but nothing touches the memories running around my head right now. To those of you who are fathers with daughters, I can honestly tell you that we daughters do cherish the times we have with you and you will always be in our hearts even after you are gone. Every day.
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It was fun watching her present to the class. That grin on her face when she said she was her dad’s best gift left no doubt how loved she feels. Way to go, Craig.
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Security in your relationship with your dad is definately an important thing. My parents never had any sons, so my dad kind of passed on a lot of father-son stuff to me. We watch football, work on the car, stuff like that together. I’m very close to my mother as well, and I learned a lot from her, we spend a ton of time together, but my father and I are very much alike. The joke in our family is that people meet me and tell me I look like my mother, then get to know me and tell me I’m just like my father.
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I can empathize with the columnist. There’s in my mind something unique between a father and his daughter (perhaps something similar can be said about a mother and her sons but i don’t know). I’m a bit biased of course.
Of course, this doesn’t always occur but for Joel to bring in the culture wars on this thread was inappropriate. Responsible fatherhood should be celebrated without reference to arrangements without responsible fathers — they may or may not have a compensating influence but to raise the issue here is rather classless.
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This made me cry. Very beautiful.
I think fathers are mostly forgotten in society today. It’s OK we don’t really ask for much. But it is such tender moments that make it all worth while. A father could spend a lifetime energized by such a nuclear moment as this.
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I received several reports on Joel Mark’s comment (No. 2) from people who did not realize he was being sarcastic in his remarks and thought it was threatening. This is a reminder that not everyone who reads the articles and comments on this site are familiar with who you are or where you’re coming from, so be careful. Also, we should always strive to add something constructive to the conversation. Thank you.
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“Of course, this doesn’t always occur but for Joel to bring in the culture wars on this thread was inappropriate.”
Sadly, “Father as head of the house” was one of the first casualties the culture war.
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